The Decline of Western Civilization as Measured in Greeting Cards

Scott Hardie | July 29, 2005
Shopping for birthday cards yesterday was the usual frustration: Sorry, I don't know anybody who would be cheered to receive a shit-themed birthday card. Why are so many "humorous" cards stuck in the toilet? Are urine and excrement really that hilarious for adults? It seems like two-thirds of the cards on the shelf have the maturity of a preschooler. I just don't understand their wide appeal. Am I somehow insane? I've shopped for cards at a varety of stores and always come up with the same result. Maybe I should buy the sappy cards instead of the funny ones.

Megan Baxter | July 29, 2005
I avoid this problem by buying blank cards. I so rarely see a greeting card that I actually like.

Jackie Mason | July 29, 2005
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Aaron Shurtleff | July 29, 2005
Scott, you mean you don't love the poo? How can this be? Personally, if I don't get at least one birthday card that refers to poo, pee, or boogers, it's not worth my having gotten out of bed. Ahh, yes. I remember one birthday, I got three cards that were all the same, and they were of the "birthdays are like boogers" variety.

But that could just be the crowd I roll wit', yo. This is how we do. You know how we roll, dawg. ;)

Scott Hardie | July 30, 2005
Good ideas, Megan and Jackie. I think I'll try your solutions. But obviously not for Aaron's birthday in a month. :-)

Jackie Mason | July 30, 2005
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Scott Hardie | July 31, 2005
I hear you. I was enjoying my fish dinner on Friday night until the horror movie I was watching got into the scraps of flesh being sewn together... :-o

Jackie Mason | July 31, 2005
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Scott Hardie | July 31, 2005
No, I was watching a terrible little straight-to-DVD flick called "Shallow Ground." (link) It's the kind of movie where the director would be flattered to know that I was nearly put off my food by it. I do need to see that version of Frankenstein sometime soon, though.

Jackie Mason | July 31, 2005
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Scott Hardie | July 31, 2005
Well, by now I think everybody knows how well I deal with childbirth scenes. :-)

Aaron Shurtleff | August 1, 2005
Was it the boogers or the feeble attempt to speak ebonics that got you, Jackie? :)

Jackie Mason | August 2, 2005
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