Recent conversation with Brenda.

Brenda: What would be the hardest thing for you to give up for Lent?

Me: Shooting guns.

Brenda: But you don't shoot.

Me: But I have the most realistic dreams. I rescue POW's like Stallone, I kill evil dictators with a sniper shot from a mile away like Jack Reacher, I perform quick draws and shoot the bad guy like Saturday westerns...

Brenda: You more likely kill a dozen people from the Texas Tower.

Me: Just as well I don't actually own a real gun.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

She Obviously Wants To Outsource

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: After getting a new toilet, I'm seriously in the mood for a new bathroom. me: Oh, really. Brenda: Yes, really. Go »

For Your Consideration...

So many actors are on their best behaviour come Oscar time because they don't want anything to interfere with their chances to win in this rare opportunity. The rarest of opportunities occurs this year for Mickey Rourke who is not exactly on a first name basis with Oscar nominations. And may never be there again. Go »

Which Underwear?

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: A friend of mine lost his wife a few years ago. He's not that old and dreaded entering the dating scene again but he was growing a little lonely. Brenda: Good for him - fingers crossed. Go »

Professor's Last Lecture

If you were a college professor and had the knowledge that you had one last lecture to give. What would you say? What wisdom would you try to impart with this final opportunity? Go »

Just My Lucky Day, I Guess

Weekly shopping trips have been largely uneventful of late because of the absence of you know who, UOAS. She kind of startled me with her presence at the Safeway tonight and I wondered if God specifically was observing my sense of satisfaction over her MIA status. She noted my surprised expression and commented, "Long time no see!" Go »

I'm Too Young To Be Old

All of this landscaping has taken a serious toll on my aged body, apparently. I actually had to take a day off from work to recover from an aching back. When younger (twenties), I could chop a load of firewood blah blah blah. Go »