Recent conversation with Brenda.

Brenda: What would be the hardest thing for you to give up for Lent?

Me: Shooting guns.

Brenda: But you don't shoot.

Me: But I have the most realistic dreams. I rescue POW's like Stallone, I kill evil dictators with a sniper shot from a mile away like Jack Reacher, I perform quick draws and shoot the bad guy like Saturday westerns...

Brenda: You more likely kill a dozen people from the Texas Tower.

Me: Just as well I don't actually own a real gun.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Public Service Announcement

For those of you who will be pulled over by the police and asked the inevitable question, "Because I'm smokin' hot" is not the correct answer to "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Live and learn. Go »

Mother's Day Gifts

As an honor to Brenda, we got her some plants for the house and lawn. Nice plants. All now dead from neglect. Go »

Where's the Luxury?

I'm sitting in a luxury suite at FedEx Field watching the Wahington Redskins play haplessly against the San Francisco 49ers. (Redskins missed FG) There's more cheering happening for SF than Washington which is typical lately. Dee Fence! Go »

That's Good Eatin'

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: (Looking through mailer) Would you like to go to Floyd's Barbecue? me: Why would I want that? Brenda: We could get $5.00 Go »

Accidents Happen But This Is Ridiculous

You know, I've accidentally glued various parts of my body to odd things before. I glued my shirt to my stomach, once. But this guy takes the glue cake. Go »

I'm Like Evander Holyfield Except With Two Entire Ears

Recent conversation with Brenda. Brenda: My aunt just had a birthday. She's 94. Go »