Lauren the Builder
by Steve West on September 13, 2022

Here’s a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between my 5-year-old daughter, Lauren, and some construction workers. I embellished it only slightly. It will make you believe that we can all make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.
We lived in a house next to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. Lauren naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them “gems-in-the-rough”, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. Lauren took this home to Brenda who suggested that she take her $10 “pay” to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked Lauren how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. She proudly replied, “I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.”
“Oh, my goodness gracious,” said the teller, “and will you be working on the house again this week, too?”
Lauren replied, “I will, if those assholes at Lowe’s ever deliver the damn sheet rock.”
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Vanity Plate
I saw a blue Toyota Rav 4 with a vanity plate SINGPLY. What the hell does that mean? StING PLoY? Go »
Lost in Translation
Some ad slogans that had hilarious results when translated into other languages for international marketing. Go »
Ice Cream That Would Make Homer Simpson Retch
In all honesty, I felt physically ill after about 1/3 of the way through this list. I could actually taste some of this nauseating stuff and it made my stomach churn. I don't even want to know what raw horseflesh flavor is like. Go »
East Meets West
So, good friends of ours, Lauren's godparents, invited our family to join them for a birthday dinner at a local Japanese steakhouse, Sakura. I've always wanted to go to one of these but until last night never had the opportunity. The girls are finicky eaters so prospects looked pretty slim. Go »
Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid
Because it's Iran Defense Week, their military was on parade to show their strength. Ahmadinejad claimed there were no gay men in the country. Perhaps, but a lot of them resemble Lady Gaga (Scoopy joke). Go »