It's The Plumber!
by Steve West on September 17, 2011

The punchline to the old talking parrot joke recently leaped into my mind. Lauren dropped a lipstick tube down her bathroom sink because it has nothing to cover the drain hole. That thing that goes up and down to close the sink drain isn't part of this particular sink. I got a wrench to unscrew the trap and just a small amount of pressure broke the corroded pipe just after the trap. Broke it good. While I would like to think it was my Schwarzenegger-like strength that caused steel to break in half, it's just the fifty year old pipes failing. Fifty years just doesn't seem that old to me but what else could it be? It's not like we have extra hydrochloric acid in our water in Bowie.
I called the plumber and it's one of those $150 just to pull into your driveway kind of things. I have to supply the new faucet so it has the drain hole cover but he'll install it. I'm going to Lowe's now because I need a lawnmower. Grass-zilla is taking over my backyard in the two weeks I've owned this place but I never needed a lawnmower till now - a weed whacker sufficed on the quilt sized lawn I had before. A new electric mower should whack his radiated ass back to the stone age.
Home ownership costs money to maintain, I know. I'm not surprised by this. But there was so much repairing I already knew going into this sale so I wasn't counting on a new repair to pop up only two weeks after moving in. I'm putting my toolbox in the attic before I "fix" something else.
One Reply to It's The Plumber!
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

If It's Human Waste, Save Some For Me
Should Burt Reynolds' fecal matter be worth more than Crispin Glover's? Which costs more: David Lee Roth's fecal matter or Sammy Hagar's urine? Start your Christmas list now for Celebrity Organic Waste Products. Go »
F* You BAFTA
The Mickster didn't say F* you to BAFTA after winning their best actor award but did have a vulgarity filled acceptance speech reminiscent of Russell Crowe. Come to think of it, Russell Crowe lost the Academy Award that year to Denzel Washington. An Oscar worthy role in A Beautiful Mind lost to an Oscar worthy actor in Training Day. Go »
Housebuying Stuff
I'm too tired to come up with a more clever title. New carpet installed. New bathtub and shower installed. Go »
And Then the Fight Started...
When Brenda and I attended my High School reunion, she noticed me staring at a woman seated a few tables away, drinking glass after glass of some alcoholic drink. She asked if I knew her. I told her, "That was my girlfriend from back in the day. Go »
It's Saturday And You Know What That Means...
Shopping Day. I went grocery shopping earlier today because I had the afternoon free and I prefer to get it done when I have the chance as opposed to shopping at night because that's the only time available after a full day's activity. Added bonus: no UOAS. Go »
Jackie Mason | October 6, 2011
[hidden by author request]