Brenda looked over my shoulder once to see what I was reading that made me chuckle. I told her it was an off-color joke involving the number 68. As it happened, she noticed that this joke appeared on page 68 of the book I was reading.
"You should probably play the lottery," she encouraged.
I responded, "I don't believe in stuff like that."
She asked, "Why not? It's better than most reasons."
So, I told her a story that happened before we were married.
Once, I woke up at 5:55 a.m. The temperature was 55 degrees and the humidity was 55%. I turned the TV to channel 5 and when I got up, saw that the date was May 5th. I thought it was a little creepy.
So, I go to work and see that my odometer read 55,555.5 miles. I get to work, go to the fifth floor and find I have 5 messages.
So, IT DAWNS ON ME!
I rushed to the racetrack. My entrance ticket cost me $5.00 and I'm ushered to Section 5, Row 5, Seat 5. In the fifth race, I pick the fifth horse. And with an understanding that Fate had spoken, I put my entire bank account on it.
Brenda was sure that I had won.
Anticlimactically, I told her, "My horse came in fifth. Therefore..."


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Who's In And Who's Not

Comprehensive site devoted to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Gives info that can be sorted multiple ways for easy searching. Provides information on who's in, when they got in, number of times they were on the ballot, etc. Go »

One and One-half Is Not the Same As Two

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: There are not two scoops of raisins in my Raisin Bran. Brenda: Excuse me? me: There appears to be less than two scoops of raisins in my cereal box. Go »

Mean Husband... or Funny Guy?

Since Brenda is home and doing well, I will share yet another reason I will spend ETERNITY IN HELL. At the hospital, after her surgery and recovery, she began to wake up in the room. She was covered in a blanket up to her neck, and as her eyes barely fluttered open and she saw me standing over her caressing her cheek, I said, "Baby, something went wrong and they had to remove your whole body. Go »

Accidents Happen But This Is Ridiculous

You know, I've accidentally glued various parts of my body to odd things before. I glued my shirt to my stomach, once. But this guy takes the glue cake. Go »

It's That Time Of Year

Snow time. I don't live in Fargo so I defer to Denise and others for even more horrible snow stories. But the forecast yesterday was for anywhere between 6 and 32 inches of snow depending on a whole bunch of meteorological variables and other mysteries. Go »

Al Jolsen Meets The Handmaid's Tale

Brenda went to a local clothing store which I refuse to name so as not to give them any free advertising. I'm a little pissed at them right now. She bought Lauren some new clothes for school including a new pair of jeans for $15.00. Go »