My mother has Alzheimer's and dementia. She'll be 80 in a few months. For the last decade or so, her partner Andy has been taking care of her, but he's 85 himself and not able to continue. Since last summer, I've been taking on more and more of the daily responsibilities of taking care of my mother's needs, financially and legally and medically. And holy hell is it time-consuming. I had heard that it gets like this but I really had no idea.

I spend about 80-90% of my free time taking care of my mother. I'll frequently stay up until 12-2am answering emails from Andy, sending requests to her caregivers at her assisted living facility, scheduling appointments and companions for her, filling out forms and legal paperwork, placing orders for various things that she needs, and blocking out time in my work calendar for time that I'll have to take off to be in the room with her various doctors when she sees them. I'm on a first-name basis with her caregivers and lawyers. I keep a constantly-changing list of her medications and specialist doctors. I have come to dread checking my inbox or glancing at my buzzing phone because it's going to be more demands on my time and attention.

With Kelly dealing with her own recent medical crisis (3 surgeries and 15 days in the hospital so far), and a stressful work project that has me working overtime to meet difficult deadlines, I have been stretched really damn thin. It's gotten to a point that I have never reached before in my life, where I'm just failing outright to get things done. I pass out at midnight, unable to finish tasks that need to happen that night, because I just can't do any more. I reached a point this past week where I just surrendered and said I'm going to get done whatever I can and not stress any more if some things fall by the wayside because I'm human and have limits.

I have no idea how parents do it. I couldn't imagine trying to juggle all of this with kids on top of it. And my mother doesn't even live with me; being physically and immediately responsible for her needs would be even harder.

I'm saying all of this to illustrate why I've been absent from Funeratic for nine months and counting. I have so far been able to keep up with making goos, and I'll answer messages and concert challenges when they come up, but I really haven't had anywhere near the amount of time that I'd like to have to work on this website and interact with people here and add new content and do any of the numerous projects that I still think about. Funeratic is still big in my heart, but it gets a tiny sliver of my time because that's all that I have been able to give lately. Like I said, I'm trying to set more realistic limits starting this past week (and I'm trying to push more of my mother's care onto her very expensive professional caregivers where it belongs), so maybe I'll be able to make time for the site, but I certainly can't promise that.

Thanks for continuing to stick around. I'm not done with Funeratic.


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Redundancy

Can we add "information overload" to the list of phrases retired from the language due to clichéd overuse? It is apparently now used to describe anything remotely intense. Go »

Screw Delta (Gotta Rant)

When I flew to Fargo a while back for Denise's wedding, I woke up at 2am to be out the door by 3am to get to Tampa by 4am to check in by 5am for a 6am flight. I stepped into the long Delta check-in line an hour and fifteen minutes before my flight, but I was concerned at the signs all over the place saying I would be turned away if I arrived less than an hour before the flight. Sure enough, it took me half an hour to get through the line, and the rude Delta clerk refused to let me on the plane even though I could easily make it to the gate in time. Go »

At Least It's Better Than Bra

You know what sucks, bro? Reading this article a couple of times and later discovering that "bro" has leaked into your everyday speech. Go »

Good Company and Busy Nights

Highlights from my last two weeks, in no particular order: - Miah Poisson, his fiancée Ines, and her friend Denise have always wanted to see The X Files, and it just so happens I have the complete series on DVD. We've started getting together every Monday night to watch a couple of episodes and eat sandwiches. I'm taking the opportunity to do something I wanted to do the first time I watched the series, which is keep a kill-count. Go »

OK Glass

Last weekend, Kelly and I drove up to St. Petersburg with friends to see Ira Glass present a one-man stage show explaining how he makes This American Life on the radio. I had no prior familiarity with his work, having not heard the radio show unlike the fans that I went with, but I think it's long past time that I started listening to the celebrated series online. Go »

Veterans

Thank you. You deserve to hear those two words much more than you do. You may not agree with my vote last week, but I'm grateful for the sacrifices you made that let me cast it. Go »