Thorough Performance Reviews
by Scott Hardie on August 23, 2006

I'm not around much this week because it's time for the annual performance reviews at work. I'm staying up till the wee hours each night writing the reviews so that the two-day marathon of face-to-face chats at the end of the week will go well. It's a win-win: For the employees doing a great job, it's my chance to offer serious praise without it sounding phony or arbitrary. For the employees not doing so well, it's my chance to warn them about it unambiguously. Plus, who doesn't like telling someone they're getting a raise? I get to do it over and over for two days. I need to find a way to do these annual reviews more often.
One Reply to Thorough Performance Reviews
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Unexpected Easter
This has been an unusual few days. Kelly's father had a stroke on Thursday, so we left town suddenly to see him, ultimately choosing to drive since we can't afford plane tickets on no notice. He's going to be fine; his vision was affected at first but he seems recovered now, pending another examination. Go »
Fur and Feathers
Yesterday was a good day: To celebrate my mother's 75th birthday, we took her out for a day around Sarasota doing things that appealed to her love of animals. After starting with a big breakfast, we went to a local attraction that we've all been meaning to see for years, the Big Cat Habitat that takes care of exotic animals that were born in captivity but abandoned by their owners. The lions and tigers and liger were the prime attraction, but they also had bears, monkeys, a chimpanzee, parrots, emu, turkeys, goats, koi, and even stranger animals like a kangaroo, kinkajou, and coati. Go »
Toothiness, Or: More Bad Dental Humor
You know what company makes my favorite commercials? Oral-B. (link) (link) The camera careens inside the "Oral-B Institute," where a legion of white-coated scientists look sternly at interactive hologram displays and lasers carve out futuristic technology inside reactor chambers. Go »
Bad Housekeeping
If you're lazy like me, there's not a right time to put away the clean dishes. Who cares if you use them one-by-one out of the dishwasher? But there *is* a right time to discover that they're still dirty, and that's long before you're putting away the last couple of items after eating out of the dishwasher for days. Go »
The Devil and David Hasselhoff
Thanks, JP. Go »










Kris Weberg | August 23, 2006
Perhaps you could design and construct some sort of apparatus that would bend spacetime, causing years to pass more quickly and thereby reducing the time between annual performance reviews.
On the upside, this would solve your problem. On the downside, it could destroy the universe, or at least leave you pursued for the rest of your days by the Hounds of Tindalos.