Thorough Performance Reviews
by Scott Hardie on August 23, 2006

I'm not around much this week because it's time for the annual performance reviews at work. I'm staying up till the wee hours each night writing the reviews so that the two-day marathon of face-to-face chats at the end of the week will go well. It's a win-win: For the employees doing a great job, it's my chance to offer serious praise without it sounding phony or arbitrary. For the employees not doing so well, it's my chance to warn them about it unambiguously. Plus, who doesn't like telling someone they're getting a raise? I get to do it over and over for two days. I need to find a way to do these annual reviews more often.
One Reply to Thorough Performance Reviews
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Gingerbread Office
I don't often join in Kelly's craft projects, and it's even rarer for her to join in one of mine. But that's what happened last week when my company held a gingerbread house contest, and Kelly pitched in to help the team that I signed up for. We decided to make a "north pole branch" of our Sarasota office. Go »
WLW: Can't
"Can't" is a word that fat people tell ourselves a lot after so many failed diets: We can't lose the weight, we can't succeed. Hearing it from a doctor would seem inconsequential. But it still hurts. Go »
Scott's Pet Peeve #8446
Not all mobile phones mix a qwerty keypad with their main numerical keypad, but I have an old Blackberry that does. That makes me especially frustrated by companies that only provide a letter-based phone number without showing a numerical alternative (800-LIKE-THIS). I just went to cancel Nutrisystem, and of course they require you to call a counselor rather than just cancel online, and the only number they give is 888-459-THIN. Go »
Is That a George Lucas Character?
Matthew Preston: "If making up words for directions is wrong, I don't want to be fludoo." Go »
Irresistible
When I saw this poster at the movie theater, I wondered: Is that a coming attraction, or did I step into a mirror universe where that poster has nothing to do with a movie? Go »










Kris Weberg | August 23, 2006
Perhaps you could design and construct some sort of apparatus that would bend spacetime, causing years to pass more quickly and thereby reducing the time between annual performance reviews.
On the upside, this would solve your problem. On the downside, it could destroy the universe, or at least leave you pursued for the rest of your days by the Hounds of Tindalos.