Thorough Performance Reviews
by Scott Hardie on August 23, 2006

I'm not around much this week because it's time for the annual performance reviews at work. I'm staying up till the wee hours each night writing the reviews so that the two-day marathon of face-to-face chats at the end of the week will go well. It's a win-win: For the employees doing a great job, it's my chance to offer serious praise without it sounding phony or arbitrary. For the employees not doing so well, it's my chance to warn them about it unambiguously. Plus, who doesn't like telling someone they're getting a raise? I get to do it over and over for two days. I need to find a way to do these annual reviews more often.

One Reply to Thorough Performance Reviews

Kris Weberg | August 23, 2006
Perhaps you could design and construct some sort of apparatus that would bend spacetime, causing years to pass more quickly and thereby reducing the time between annual performance reviews.

On the upside, this would solve your problem. On the downside, it could destroy the universe, or at least leave you pursued for the rest of your days by the Hounds of Tindalos.

Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

R.I.P. Pam

Pam was a co-worker from the 2000s who recently passed away. Kelly worked with her much more closely than I did, sharing a cubicle space with her for years and getting to know her very well, though I had plenty of conversations with her too. She was always ready with a compliment or a joke or a homemade treat, and she was a source of light in a job that could be quite a grind some days. Go »

Nooooooooooodge

You know what would be nice? If Google, one of the most web-savvy companies in existence, could manage to remember my goddamn user settings for more than 48 hours. I'm getting really sick of discovering them reset to defaults and having to change them all over again. Go »

Andy Dick Killed Phil Hartman?

How is it I'm only discovering this celebrity scandal ten years later? (link) Go »

Scary Mary

New horror film? Thanks, Jon. Go »

At Least It's Better Than Bra

You know what sucks, bro? Reading this article a couple of times and later discovering that "bro" has leaked into your everyday speech. Go »

Ketchup Packets

I was verbally mugged by a former coworker today, a guy I used to think of as a friend some time ago. I had the displeasure of laying him off last year, and after months of struggling to get by with nothing but condiments in his fridge, he started a blog to vent his frustration at me and a few other coworkers he disliked. The comments are very mean-spirited, from professional criticisms about my managerial competence and decision-making, to personal and apparently very nasty jokes about my weight and appearance. Go »