Beer and Politics

Scott Hardie | May 18, 2008
Help finish this joke:

"McCain, Obama, and Clinton walk into a bar..."

Amy Austin | May 18, 2008
Omg. I'm not *that* creative...

Amy Austin | May 18, 2008
"...and said, 'Ouch!' Can you believe it -- all three of them?" (lame, version 1)

Amy Austin | May 18, 2008
"...and said, 'Ouch!' Bill, who was nearby (of course), said, 'Hillary, I can't believe you just did that! You should have passed that with no problem at all -- you're a lawyer!'"

(lame, version 2... could be marginally funnier if told in person with Bill Clinton voice -- way marginally)

Scott Hardie | May 18, 2008
McCain, Obama, and Clinton walk into a bar. Three hours go by and they're pretty drunk. Obama says they need to leave soon. Clinton first says they need to stay, then says they need to decide on a time to leave, then agrees with Obama that they need to leave soon. McCain's having a great time and says they should stay another hundred nights.

Amy Austin | May 18, 2008
Way better than mine! ;-)

Steve West | May 18, 2008
McCain asks, "Do you serve presidential candidates in here?"
The bartender say, "We sure do."
McCain wants a double bourbon.
Obama goes for a single malt scotch.
Clinton looks at the other two and says, "I'll have mine medium rare."

Steve West | May 18, 2008
McCain, Obama and Bill Clinton walk into a bar. The bartender challenges them to pull something from their pocket that represents Christmas with the reward being a free drink.
McCain pulls out a lighter and claims it represents a candle.
The bartender agrees.
Obama pulls out a set of keys and tinkles them like bells.
Another free drink.
Bill rummages around a bit and finally pulls out a pair of panties. "These are Carol's."

Amy Austin | May 19, 2008
Hahaha

Steve West | May 22, 2008
McCain, Obama, and the Clintons walk into the Wizard of Oz Bar.
After perusing the menu, Obama says, "I'd like to try the Courage Margarita, please."
Hillary says "I'll have the Heart Daiquiri and make it snappy."
McCain says, "One, no two, ummm... no one Brain boilermaker, I think."
They all look at Bill expectantly while he looks at the drink list. He finally puts it down and asks, "Is Dorothy here?"

Lori Lancaster | May 22, 2008
[hidden by request]

Steve West | May 22, 2008
Bill is an ispiration to many. I don't count myself in that group, however. You're right that he is still an easy target, though.

Steve West | May 24, 2008
McCain, Obama, and Clinton walk into a bar. The bartender looks up from cleaning glasses and says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

Scott Hardie | May 24, 2008
McCain, Obama, and Clinton walk into a bar. This makes more headlines that day than an African warlord slaughtering thousands of civilians, Hamas breaching a cease-fire agreement, Congress lifting a ban on certain industrial pollutants...

Amy Austin | May 24, 2008
What is this, some kind of joke?

Jackie Mason | May 25, 2008
[hidden by request]

Steve West | June 1, 2008
McCain, Obama, and Clinton walk into a bar. McCain says to the bartender, "You've got to see our new act before we take it on the road."
The bartender says that he would love to see a demonstration but needs a description before he gives it the okay.
So McCain starts to explain. "First, Obama takes a kosher dill pickle...(edited for obscene dialogue)...and then Hillary, without wiping it off...(seriously edited for potential cause of blindness)...then I come in wearing my mother's...(for the love of God - make it stop!!!)...The Aristrocrats!!!"

Amy Austin | June 2, 2008
No... you didn't. l-P

Jackie Mason | June 2, 2008
[hidden by request]

Amy Austin | June 2, 2008
Heheheh... awesome.

Tony Peters | June 3, 2008
Jackie that is a winner

Jackie Mason | September 6, 2008
[hidden by request]

Steve West | September 6, 2008
What's the difference between Barack Obama and Sarah Palin?

One is a well-spoken, snappy dressing, good-lookin' hunk o' sexiness.

The other can gut a deer after shotgunning it to death.

Steve West | September 6, 2008
After a grueling debate, the four candidates decide to go out for a drink together.

After piling into the car, McCain shouts, "Call the Secret Service! Someone has stolen the steering wheel, the radio, the brake pedal and even the gas pedal!"

Obama says that he hopes they can find another car and that he dreams of getting a new car.

Biden apologizes for being from Delaware, a state so small that you walk from end to end in only a few minutes and therefore knows nothing about cars.

Palin then suggests, "Gentlemen, perhaps one of us should get into the front seat."