Gross Gross Gross Icky Gross

Anna Gregoline | February 21, 2005
My fiance just called and told me that he must have left his car unlocked, and he found a plastic bag in the back filled with, get this,

BLOODY RAGS.

Nothing was stolen. This has totally freaked me out, because

a. Someone was in his car.
b. What if they have a disease?
c. What if the blood was related to a crime or an injury?
d. What the heck does one do about this besides clean it up? He's already thrown stuff out, but does this warrant a call to the police? Seems like they couldn't do anything, wouldn't be interested, and even so, he threw out the "evidence" so there's not much to show or tell.
e. IT'S JUST CREEPY

I'm going to wipe down the car inside all over with those antiseptic wipes, but I'm still going to feel disgusting when I ride in it again.

GROSS GROSS GROSS

Dave Stoppenhagen | February 21, 2005
I would think that would warrant a call to the cops.

Anna Gregoline | February 21, 2005
It wasn't like soaked rags, it was more like nosebleed rags or something like that. I wasn't there so I can't say what it looked like (thankfully?). But totally disgusting.

Erik Bates | February 21, 2005
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Anna Gregoline | February 22, 2005
Wow....um. Update. Check out www.voodootoaster.com for the top leftest entry.

Jackie Mason | February 22, 2005
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Anna Gregoline | February 22, 2005
Did anyone catch the exciting conclusion? I think it's pretty funny. =)

Jackie Mason | February 22, 2005
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Erik Bates | February 23, 2005
[hidden by request]

Anna Gregoline | February 23, 2005
Here's the full text I posted.

This afternoon, I was at work finishing some afternoon drudgery, and my finance Jesse called. He said, "I didn't want to tell you this, but when I went out to my car I saw it was unlocked. And someone had been in there."

"Oh no," I said.

He continued, "Yeah, um....they left a bag full....of bloody rags."

BLOODY RAGS.

Nothing was stolen. This totally freaked me out, because:

1. Someone was in his car.
2. What if they have a disease?
3. What if the blood was related to a crime or an injury? Is this like CSI, will Jesse now be implicated in someone's plot to frame him for the murder of their spouse or business partner?
4. What the heck does one do about this besides clean it up? Jesse had already thrown it out, so does this warrant a call to the police? Seems like they couldn't do anything, wouldn't be interested, and even so, he threw out the "evidence" so there's not much to show or tell. I don't think it's a good idea to ever call the cops and tell them you had some bloody rags in your car but you threw them away.
5. IT'S JUST CREEPY

I tell him I'm going to wipe down the car inside all over with those antiseptic wipes, but I'm still going to feel disgusting when I ride in it again. Hang up. Spend the rest of the afternoon going,

GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS

and thinking of little else.

Well, five 'oclock rolls round and I head home on the train, reading TIME magazine and enjoying the quickness and emptiness on this President's Day, when it hits me.

On my walk home, I call Jesse and say,

"Remember when we drove to Wisconsin to see Katie? And I bought you that....jelly donut?

Silence in the face of my hysterical giggles.

"Ok," he says. "Never mind."

Jesse had tried to eat the jelly donut while driving, and it went splat all over his jacket. Being the dutiful partner I am, I cleaned him up with numerous paper napkins and threw them into the bag I bought the donuts with. Voila. Foiled twice by the same jelly donut.

It's like The Jelly Donut of Doom, an evil circular lump of sugar and fat, rising from beyond the grave to punish thee! Punish thee! Punish thee!

For such a tale of vengeful undead breadstuffs, I knew I had to tell you, VoodooToasters.