Guy Stuff

Scott Hardie | June 25, 2010
Lately I've felt some kind of mild, premature mid-life crisis and wondering if I should get into guy stuff for the sake of getting into it. Following sports, working on cars, learning carpentry, going fishing, grilling a big cookout, hell even just smoking a cigar. This isn't an identity thing, like I don't feel manly or I worry that people perceive me as weak. This is just about wondering if my life is passing by and there are things that I could be doing or at least trying that I'm not bothering to do, and maybe I'm missing out on something.

I read about pre-operative transsexuals who are so desperate to become a different gender that their entire happiness in life depends on it. It makes me wonder, what about being a guy do they want to do that I can do that doesn't even occur to me to do? I don't even feel like a "guy" - I just feel like a person. I guess that line of thinking doesn't really apply, since it's about identity for them, and the supposedly manly activities that i describe can be enjoyed by anyone.

Kelly thinks it's because I didn't have much for male role models as a kid. My father worked a lot to support me, so we didn't have much free time together. I spent a lot of time playing alone, and developed appropriate hobbies, and those hobbies remain with me today, and I'm not ashamed of that in the least. I just think it's time to experience some new things. I'm 32 now; I don't want to be 64 and have spent all those years just watching more movies, playing more board games, or God help me, playing more video games.

At least I've tried motorsports. I can thank Steve Dunn for that.

Tony Peters | June 25, 2010
funny as I've gotten older team sports are less interesting. the only "motorsport" I follow is motorcycle racing. I've always cooked so BBQ is sorta natural but as I have aged I have reverted to the things that I enjoyed as a youth (bicycling and skateboarding) and less the things that I tried in the intervening years

Samir Mehta | June 25, 2010
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Ryan Dunn | June 25, 2010
Perhaps take up a fantasy sport? I cared nothing for the NFL until I joined a fantasy league. Now I'm obsessed with the goings on of every team and player in the league. Keeps me interested in all the games, and I can hold a legit sports conversation...which makes me feel very "guy" like. Very dorky, fantasy leagues...they're like d&d with real football players...however, most dudes who play fantasy sports kid themselves into thinking they're totally cool and knowledgeable about the sport...so they're the most fun ones to beat.

Steve Dunn | June 29, 2010
At least I've tried motorsports. I can thank Steve Dunn for that.

Yeah, and that went real well...

I've been to several races and I've had a "great time" exactly once: the time I got to watch from a luxury box with my brother (no, not Ryan, the other brother). Every other time it's been too hot, too loud, too boring, or one of my online friends spewed vomit out the side of the car.

So I do not recommend NASCAR.

I see no reason to take up a hobby for any reason other than genuine interest. Be who you are. Play to your strengths. Self-conscious efforts to assimilate "guy stuff" will inevitably be awkward, but meanwhile you're well on your way to the "nerd stuff" Hall of Fame.

Scott Hardie | July 1, 2010
Fantasy sports! Great idea, Ryan! I can leverage my geekiness to get into guy stuff. Then again, the fact that car engines seem to be all computerized these days makes me less inclined to get into auto mechanics. But I still think I'll give fantasy sports a try. Thanks for the suggestion.

Steve, my only regret about that day at NASCAR is that I wasn't able to get into the race more, due to the overwhelming nausea. I may or may not be interested in going to another race someday. I would definitely be interested in spending another weekend with you sometime.

Samir and Tony, I think you're on to something - the deeper issue may be a loss of interest as we get older, or perhaps a loss of capacity for interest. I'm not old by any means, but I do feel the clock ticking when it comes to trying new things and living a fuller life.

Steve Dunn | July 1, 2010
Scott, we'll have another weekend some time. It will not involve a NASCAR race, but it will be awesome. No doubt.

Jackie Mason | July 11, 2010
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Scott Hardie | July 11, 2010
I can see that. There's a reverse pressure for guys not to try girl stuff, of course, but we all do sooner or later. Shopping and fashion aren't my thing, and it's probably best if at least one of us in this tiny apartment refrains from crafts. I do like decorating, and someday I look forward to having a place worth decorating and the money to do it.

Samir Mehta | July 11, 2010
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Steve West | July 11, 2010
As I've said numerous times in my blog, I do the grocery shopping for my family. I don't think anything about whether this is a guy or girl thing, but it's frequently pointed out by women I know how unusual and appealing that is. Yes, appealing. Like they're looking for guys or wishing their husbands would do that also. I still won't wear pink, though.