Last Rights

Scott Hardie | January 18, 2019
When you're with a group of people, and there's some shared food like an appetizer plate or party platter, is it rude to take the last piece of food?

Follow-up question: Do you think your answer to the above is common?

I have heard that there are regional differences of opinion on this, so I'm curious to see what people say.

Erik Bates | January 18, 2019
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Samir Mehta | January 19, 2019
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Steve West | January 19, 2019
Take it. That's why it's being served. As long as everyone has had an opportunity to get at least something. If there's no more after that tray, then the host is at fault, not you. At a restaurant, buy more cheapskate.

Scott Hardie | January 21, 2019
I take the last piece, too, if I want it. First I wait for a while to see if nobody else takes it, and then I usually ask, but after that I see no point in wasting it. Hypothetically, the reason you're not supposed to take the last piece is because it deprives someone else of it -- but if they're not eating it so I can have it, shouldn't I just go ahead and have it?

Someone said to me recently that it's rude to take the last piece, and I can't believe that's still a thing, but manners are weird. In Western culture, it's rude to leave untouched food on your plate, because it's like you're saying that the cook is terrible. In Eastern culture, it's rude to eat the entire plate, because it's like you're saying that the host did not satisfy you. Can't we just get over these imaginary hang-ups and just enjoy our food?

I asked the way that I did because 1) I've heard that it's a Midwestern thing (specifically Minnesota, Wisconsin, northern Illinois) to consider eating the last piece rude, and 2) I have heard this repeated enough times that I feel like my own position (go ahead and eat it) is out of sync with the place where I grew up (northern Illinois). Your answers reassure me, so thanks.

And I have the same caveat, Samir. I won't hog a dish all by myself. And if I'm the host, I'll make much more of an effort to get someone else to eat it, and only take it if I'm certain that no one else wants it.

Erik Bates | January 22, 2019
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Samir Mehta | January 22, 2019
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Scott Hardie | January 24, 2019
Good! I'm not the only one who thinks that's crazy. :-)

I guess the rationale is that multiple people might want the last piece, so if anyone must be deprived of it, at least we're all equally deprived of it?

Besides the aforementioned reasons why it's foolish, it's also wasteful. Food shouldn't be wasted deliberately.