Help Needed
by Scott Hardie on May 8, 2008
Our friend Bill used to work USF tech support in the early nineties, the days of Windows 3.1 and 28.8k modems. One day...
"Hello, this is Tech Support."
"I'm trying to check my grades online, but it's not working."
"I'll be happy to help you. What program are you using to connect to the server?"
"I don't know."
"Ok, what program do you use to go online?"
"I don't know."
"Hmm. What operating system do you use?"
"I don't know!"
"Huh. What brand of computer do you have?"
"Computer? What are you talking about? Whenever I dial the number, all I hear are beeps and hissing!"
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »
Day 14
In lieu of "weight loss Wednesday" since I'm much too busy on Wednesdays even to get online, let me write today that I'm on day 14 of a new diet, which is 13 more days than nearly all of my attempts last. This is, in fact, the second-longest I've ever lasted on a diet, and in a few weeks it will be the longest. This should indicate how lousy my self-discipline is and why I've ballooned to this size, around 450 pounds. Go »Good Company and Busy Nights
Highlights from my last two weeks, in no particular order: - Miah Poisson, his fiancée Ines, and her friend Denise have always wanted to see The X Files, and it just so happens I have the complete series on DVD. We've started getting together every Monday night to watch a couple of episodes and eat sandwiches. I'm taking the opportunity to do something I wanted to do the first time I watched the series, which is keep a kill-count. Go »Mayhem
Last night I saw Killswitch Engage, Slayer, and Marilyn Manson. This morning I discovered that Walgreens sells a pretty good neck brace for $11.99. Aaron Shurtleff bought my Mayhem Festival ticket in May as a gift, and I'm grateful to have another generous friend. Go »More Nerd Humor
Thanks, Kelly. Go »The News is Scary
Sixth-grader admits stabbing ducks with pencil. Does anyone else read this and think, this kid will grow up to be Jeffrey Dahmer? Vegan parents guilty of murder. Go »
