Our friend Bill used to work USF tech support in the early nineties, the days of Windows 3.1 and 28.8k modems. One day...

"Hello, this is Tech Support."

"I'm trying to check my grades online, but it's not working."

"I'll be happy to help you. What program are you using to connect to the server?"

"I don't know."

"Ok, what program do you use to go online?"

"I don't know."

"Hmm. What operating system do you use?"

"I don't know!"

"Huh. What brand of computer do you have?"

"Computer? What are you talking about? Whenever I dial the number, all I hear are beeps and hissing!"


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

So Long, NCSA Primer

Someone asked me for help learning HTML today. I turned to my trusted traditional source, the good old primer at the National Center for Supercomputing Applications at the University of Illinois, but alas, it has finally been removed after all these years. This was one of the major how-to guides in the early years of the web, and it's the very guide that I used to teach myself HTML one weekend in 1996, from which this very site you're reading has since evolved. Go »

Illinois, October 2012

Our road trip to see friends and family in Illinois was well worth it. The drive both ways was pleasant. I indulged in junk food like a man taking a break from six months of dieting (since my post-Atkins diet started in June, I've lost 50 pounds). Go »

Bubba Franks! Bubba Franks, Y'all

There has to be a corny sexual position that nobody actually does (like Dirty Sanchez) named after that man. The rest of my trip is over and was richly enjoyed. We skipped Fearless in favor of playing Playstation games and scarfing down Chinese food while talking at length about the goo game and how it could be better. Go »

White Christmas

We're enjoying our winter vacation in central Illinois so far. Tue 12/22 - When you're hitting the road for your vacation right after work is over, every extra minute feels like an hour, which means I did 45 hours of overtime. The drive was easier than we thought, probably because we had days to prepare this time. Go »

Gigantism

Thanks to a friend who couldn't use them, I scored They Might Be Giants tickets to replace the broken Valentines gift that I originally bought for Kelly. We took in the show last night with two other friends who happened to be going, Nathan and Raquel, and it was a great time. Most of my concerts have been metal, so I'm used to screaming and head-banging, and I didn't exactly know how to get into the music, especially since I was the least familiar with the TMBG catalog. Go »

Flak Album

Lately I've been enjoying Aimee Mann's I'm with Stupid. Oh, how I wish she'd saved that title for a duets album. Go »