In Bed
by Scott Hardie on October 25, 2009
"You are very generous, and always think of the other fellow."
Four Replies to In Bed
Lori Lancaster | October 26, 2009
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Jackie Mason | October 26, 2009
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Scott Hardie | October 26, 2009
I'm used to fortune cookies lying to me, like "You will live a long and healthy life by eating lots of Chinese food."
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »
New Dog Upstairs
Third in a series? I don't think I need to spell this one out. Needless to say, the dog seems to live in a cage directly over my kitchen, and its only hobby is barking nonstop, 24 hours a day. Go »At Least It's Better Than Bra
You know what sucks, bro? Reading this article a couple of times and later discovering that "bro" has leaked into your everyday speech. Go »Open Letter to a Lab Technician at Manatee Memorial Hospital
Just a few things that I would have liked to have said if I could have gotten a word in edgewise: - Yes, there is a strong correlation between ultra-processed food and obesity, but so far, no causal connection has been proven. - No, organic produce is not *all* covered in pesticides anyway, although some is farmed using non-synthetic pesticide and some winds up exposed to synthetic pesticide anyway for a variety of reasons. - Bill Gates promotes and invests in soy-based meat replacements because he believes that soy products are better for the environment and for human health. Go »Parking Lot Pun
Overheard from an elderly woman whose groceries were being lifted into her trunk by a teenaged boy: "When you're as old as I am, the world is your hoister." Go »A Pet Peeve That's Actually About My Pet
How come I can't get through the grocery checkout lane without the clerk or the bagger commenting about how many cans of cat food I buy, which inevitably leads to questions about how many cats I own, how much I feed them, and why I need so many cans? Has nobody in this state heard of stocking up? For their information, I have one cat who eats two 3-oz cans of food a day, which is more than a typical cat but not unheard-of. Go »
Steve West | October 25, 2009
When Ellen Degeneres finally came out of the closet and announced, "I'm gay," most people responded sarcastically, "Oh, really." Richard Simmons gained some inspiration from her courage and announced to the world that he was "really, really, really, really gay." Welcome to the club, Scott.