Just My Lucky Day, I Guess
by Steve West on May 2, 2011
Weekly shopping trips have been largely uneventful of late because of the absence of you know who, UOAS. She kind of startled me with her presence at the Safeway tonight and I wondered if God specifically was observing my sense of satisfaction over her MIA status.
She noted my surprised expression and commented, "Long time no see!"
(And so it begins anew)
Me: (I started out polite) "Where have you been?"
UOAS: I've been working at my other job.
Me: (Raising eyebrows)
UOAS: I'm a waitress at TGI Fridays.
Me: I thought I smelled stuffed potato skins.
UOAS: I didn't work tonight.
Me: Must be me, then.
UOAS: (commenting on my single serve ice cream) Oh, these are cute!
Me: That's exactly why I bought them. I hate fudge brownie ice cream but couldn't resist the packaging.
UOAS: Why'd you buy three?
Me: Punishing myself for my weakness.
UOAS: (Offering free advice) You know, if you buy groceries in $50 multiples you get more discounted gas coupons.
Me: My car doesn't run on gas. It runs on rotted vegetables. I bought some weird car from the Balkans.
UOAS: Where'd you find that?
Me: E-bay. They sell everything.
So once again I have these exchanges to look forward to each weekend. It's been six months since our last exchange (I know because I was marking my calendar). I promised Brenda a dinner at La Colline if I had a year UOAS-free. Sorry, Brenda. It looks like Chuck-E-Cheese for your birthday this year.
One Reply to Just My Lucky Day, I Guess
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
The Reunion
Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, “Surely I can’t look that old?” I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma which bore his full name. Go »I Must Really Be Sick
Recent conversation with Brenda while recuperating in hospital: Me: Hey, wanna hear a joke I made up? I'm gonna tell my RN the next visit she makes. Brenda: Of course. Go »What's For Dinner?
After 22 years of marriage, I've discovered that when two people love each other, nothing is impossible. Except deciding where to eat. Go »Steve West: Punnyman
Recent conversation with Brenda: me: I've only been addicted to one thing my entire life. Brenda: Yeah? What's that? Go »Coolest Home Theater Ever
Chance of impressing your friends: 100% Chance of getting laid: Somewhat lower. This is definitely going to be a part of Barbie's Dream House. Especially if it comes with a replicator. Go »
Scott Hardie | May 4, 2011
Chuck-E-Cheese? It could be worse. Brenda could get TGI Fridays for her birthday.