Just My Lucky Day, I Guess
by Steve West on May 2, 2011
Weekly shopping trips have been largely uneventful of late because of the absence of you know who, UOAS. She kind of startled me with her presence at the Safeway tonight and I wondered if God specifically was observing my sense of satisfaction over her MIA status.
She noted my surprised expression and commented, "Long time no see!"
(And so it begins anew)
Me: (I started out polite) "Where have you been?"
UOAS: I've been working at my other job.
Me: (Raising eyebrows)
UOAS: I'm a waitress at TGI Fridays.
Me: I thought I smelled stuffed potato skins.
UOAS: I didn't work tonight.
Me: Must be me, then.
UOAS: (commenting on my single serve ice cream) Oh, these are cute!
Me: That's exactly why I bought them. I hate fudge brownie ice cream but couldn't resist the packaging.
UOAS: Why'd you buy three?
Me: Punishing myself for my weakness.
UOAS: (Offering free advice) You know, if you buy groceries in $50 multiples you get more discounted gas coupons.
Me: My car doesn't run on gas. It runs on rotted vegetables. I bought some weird car from the Balkans.
UOAS: Where'd you find that?
Me: E-bay. They sell everything.
So once again I have these exchanges to look forward to each weekend. It's been six months since our last exchange (I know because I was marking my calendar). I promised Brenda a dinner at La Colline if I had a year UOAS-free. Sorry, Brenda. It looks like Chuck-E-Cheese for your birthday this year.
One Reply to Just My Lucky Day, I Guess
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Christmas Post #12: Sorry About That Chief
I've always been a fan of Get Smart! and the funniest running gag for me was the use of the "cone of silence". This thing called a "pentaphone isolation space" brought that immediately to mind. Go »Driftwood Horses
I walk along the beach and I see firewood and that opening scene from Jaws. This lady sees Go »End Of The Year Post 2007
Some of the most interesting Year In Perspective lists I found. Top Ten News Stories. Top 5 Fails. Go »Carnivores R Us
Someone in my neighborhood added his own sign to a nearby STOP sign which implored people to become vegetarian by adding "eating animals". Rather than tear off his sign, I added my own which read "without steak sauce". Go »A Guy Walks Into A Bar...
That is the opening line to a joke with a genre all its own. Here are a dozen I found at various sites around the web. 1. Go »
Scott Hardie | May 4, 2011
Chuck-E-Cheese? It could be worse. Brenda could get TGI Fridays for her birthday.