Weekly shopping trips have been largely uneventful of late because of the absence of you know who, UOAS. She kind of startled me with her presence at the Safeway tonight and I wondered if God specifically was observing my sense of satisfaction over her MIA status.

She noted my surprised expression and commented, "Long time no see!"
(And so it begins anew)
Me: (I started out polite) "Where have you been?"
UOAS: I've been working at my other job.
Me: (Raising eyebrows)
UOAS: I'm a waitress at TGI Fridays.
Me: I thought I smelled stuffed potato skins.
UOAS: I didn't work tonight.
Me: Must be me, then.

UOAS: (commenting on my single serve ice cream) Oh, these are cute!
Me: That's exactly why I bought them. I hate fudge brownie ice cream but couldn't resist the packaging.
UOAS: Why'd you buy three?
Me: Punishing myself for my weakness.

UOAS: (Offering free advice) You know, if you buy groceries in $50 multiples you get more discounted gas coupons.
Me: My car doesn't run on gas. It runs on rotted vegetables. I bought some weird car from the Balkans.
UOAS: Where'd you find that?
Me: E-bay. They sell everything.

So once again I have these exchanges to look forward to each weekend. It's been six months since our last exchange (I know because I was marking my calendar). I promised Brenda a dinner at La Colline if I had a year UOAS-free. Sorry, Brenda. It looks like Chuck-E-Cheese for your birthday this year.


One Reply to Just My Lucky Day, I Guess

Scott Hardie | May 4, 2011
Chuck-E-Cheese? It could be worse. Brenda could get TGI Fridays for her birthday.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk

Vacation Tip #1: A 10,000 square foot, 3 level museum has opened in Springhouse, Pennsylvania devoted to The Three Stooges. Who knew you could assemble this much Three Stooges memorabilia? Then again, why not? Go »

How Many Strange Businesses Can One Little Town Have?

Bowie is just a hole-in-the-wall kinda town but it's full of proud residents. I like it a lot. But man, we've got quite a few odd businesses. Go »

Post-vacation Blues

Without going into great detail, my co-workers are muddle-brained knuckleheads that make the Keystone Kops look like a Mensa meeting. Federal sanctions are not that far-fetched. Changes will be made soon. Go »

Greasy Pole (Not Ron Jeremy)

Apparently, there is an annual contest in which men in drag attempt to walk the length of a greasy pole suspended over a body of water. It appears to be about 40 feet in length and about 20 feet over the water. The object being to reach the flag at the end of the pole. Go »

So, How Much Has Been Spent Saving Matt Damon?

I calculated the amount of money spent, based on movie budgets, in saving Matt Damon. I only went to 2015 because I got tired. But up to then, here's the money that's been spent. Go »

The Magic Kingdom Is, Well...Magic

We just flew in from Orlando from a week's stay in Kissimmee, Florida. We had an incredible vacation that included the Magic Kingdom, Aquatica waterpark, a resort stay at Oak Plantation, Hollywood Studios, and Universal Citywalk including the Hard Rock Cafe, Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. and the Blue Man Group show. Go »