Just My Lucky Day, I Guess
by Steve West on May 2, 2011

Weekly shopping trips have been largely uneventful of late because of the absence of you know who, UOAS. She kind of startled me with her presence at the Safeway tonight and I wondered if God specifically was observing my sense of satisfaction over her MIA status.

She noted my surprised expression and commented, "Long time no see!"
(And so it begins anew)
Me: (I started out polite) "Where have you been?"
UOAS: I've been working at my other job.
Me: (Raising eyebrows)
UOAS: I'm a waitress at TGI Fridays.
Me: I thought I smelled stuffed potato skins.
UOAS: I didn't work tonight.
Me: Must be me, then.

UOAS: (commenting on my single serve ice cream) Oh, these are cute!
Me: That's exactly why I bought them. I hate fudge brownie ice cream but couldn't resist the packaging.
UOAS: Why'd you buy three?
Me: Punishing myself for my weakness.

UOAS: (Offering free advice) You know, if you buy groceries in $50 multiples you get more discounted gas coupons.
Me: My car doesn't run on gas. It runs on rotted vegetables. I bought some weird car from the Balkans.
UOAS: Where'd you find that?
Me: E-bay. They sell everything.

So once again I have these exchanges to look forward to each weekend. It's been six months since our last exchange (I know because I was marking my calendar). I promised Brenda a dinner at La Colline if I had a year UOAS-free. Sorry, Brenda. It looks like Chuck-E-Cheese for your birthday this year.

One Reply to Just My Lucky Day, I Guess

Scott Hardie | May 4, 2011
Chuck-E-Cheese? It could be worse. Brenda could get TGI Fridays for her birthday.

Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Christmas Post #7: Coloring Crime

This website has some hilarious sections (most times intentionally, I think) offering many odd items for sale. My favorite is the Law & Order coloring book. Check out that connect the dots page - I wonder who that could be? Go »

Duncan Hunter, Bottom-dweller.

Comedy Central created a side-by-side comparison with presidential candidates paired with their superhero counterpart. Duncan Hunter, bottom-dweller. God, that's funny. Go »

Halloween Is For The Dogs

Last year for Halloween, I took all of Lauren's stuffed dogs and sewed their mouths to parts of my shirt and pants (with fake bleeding cuts on my arms and face) and went as an attack dog trainer. This year, I need to adopt or at least rent a dog so I can dress it like this for Halloween. Holy Kibbles & Bits Or this... Go »

Thanksgiving Memories

This year, as I stood with my nephew staring at the turkey carcass following its carving, I shared with him an anecdote about Thanksgiving when I was his age. I grew up in a fairly poor household but we always had turkey for the holiday. But it was a bit of an extravagance for us so my mother was committed to getting everything the bird had to offer. Go »

The Five Stages Of Patriots Grief

The Giants are the greatest 10-6 team of all time! Go »

The Day In Pictures

The Seattle Post Intelligencer recently has introduced a new feature to their webpage called Go »