Just My Lucky Day, I Guess
by Steve West on May 2, 2011

Weekly shopping trips have been largely uneventful of late because of the absence of you know who, UOAS. She kind of startled me with her presence at the Safeway tonight and I wondered if God specifically was observing my sense of satisfaction over her MIA status.
She noted my surprised expression and commented, "Long time no see!"
(And so it begins anew)
Me: (I started out polite) "Where have you been?"
UOAS: I've been working at my other job.
Me: (Raising eyebrows)
UOAS: I'm a waitress at TGI Fridays.
Me: I thought I smelled stuffed potato skins.
UOAS: I didn't work tonight.
Me: Must be me, then.
UOAS: (commenting on my single serve ice cream) Oh, these are cute!
Me: That's exactly why I bought them. I hate fudge brownie ice cream but couldn't resist the packaging.
UOAS: Why'd you buy three?
Me: Punishing myself for my weakness.
UOAS: (Offering free advice) You know, if you buy groceries in $50 multiples you get more discounted gas coupons.
Me: My car doesn't run on gas. It runs on rotted vegetables. I bought some weird car from the Balkans.
UOAS: Where'd you find that?
Me: E-bay. They sell everything.
So once again I have these exchanges to look forward to each weekend. It's been six months since our last exchange (I know because I was marking my calendar). I promised Brenda a dinner at La Colline if I had a year UOAS-free. Sorry, Brenda. It looks like Chuck-E-Cheese for your birthday this year.
One Reply to Just My Lucky Day, I Guess
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Toilets R Us
I got a thing for cool looking toilets. What can I say? I'd like most of these to be in Barbie's Dream House except for that face-to-face absurdity. Go »
Odds & Ends
Yesterday, Lauren and I went to Toby's Dinner Theatre for her birthday and saw Happy Days, the musical. I was never a big fan of the series but had seen enough of it to get the inside jokes and references to the old sitcom. A few of the groaners included not seeing Chuck for a few years now, the Fonz not being the same since he jumped the shark and Richie commenting on his usual ability to solve problems in just one-half hour. Go »
The Texas Chili Cook-Off
Recently, at a Bowie Baysox baseball game, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Texas chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last minute, and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans, probably) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3. Go »
Spain in a Week
We're back in the USA after a week in Spain with layovers in Paris and Amsterdam. Barcelona and Madrid were incredible. We saw more things than my brain could catalogue and looking at the pictures we took I find myself repeating, "Where in hell were we when I shot this?" Go »
Is This Your Dog?
Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: I just got a text from a Facebook friend that was funny and cruel at the same time. Brenda: Do I want to hear this? Me: He saw a "Missing Dog" poster, called the number and only barked. Go »
Scott Hardie | May 4, 2011
Chuck-E-Cheese? It could be worse. Brenda could get TGI Fridays for her birthday.