Recent conversation with Brenda:

Brenda: Where did you get that scar?

me: Which one?

Brenda: The one between your eyes.

me: I was in a bar fight in college and I got poleaxed with a barstool.

Brenda: You? Bar fight? I can't see it. You get squeamish removing a bandaid.

me: I can take care of myself.

Brenda: I'm not sure you could survive a physical encounter with the Olsen twins.

me: Only because there's two of them.


Two Replies to I'm Like Tyson Without a Face Tattoo

Scott Hardie | April 8, 2012
Speaking of facial disfigurement, what's new with Ugly On A Stick? I haven't seen an update in a while.

Steve West | April 8, 2012
She no longer works at my Safeway, much to my chagrin, joy, and displeasure simultaneously. Her replacements aren't nearly as painfully delicious.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Differences That Make All The Difference

Recent discussion with Brenda: me: There's such a huge difference between how I interact with people at work and how I interact with the people in my home. Brenda: How so? me: At work, I spend all day talking about banking practices and domestic and international finance. Go »

Guardians x 2

Brenda and I completed a court appearance via Zoom meeting that determined we were Olivia's official guardians. Actually the court is her guardian and we are the court's agents. We are guardians of person and property. Go »

Like Mother Teresa, Only Better

If you recognize the title of this post, then you are already familiar with Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess. I had the opportunity to meet her, briefly, at the Barnes & Noble book signing in Annapolis this weekend. She was larger than life and incredibly funny as she adlibbed before reading a selection from her book, Let's Pretend This Never Happened. Go »

Spain in a Week

We're back in the USA after a week in Spain with layovers in Paris and Amsterdam. Barcelona and Madrid were incredible. We saw more things than my brain could catalogue and looking at the pictures we took I find myself repeating, "Where in hell were we when I shot this?" Go »

Dumb Criminals And Other Court Type Stuff Part 3

Another small collection of weird legal matters. Yeah research, that's the ticket; Too manly for the ladies' room; Chi-tonw blues; Cat's got yer what?; and finally, I have no idea what it's like to be busted for DUI, taken for mugshots wearing a shirt displaying my love for midget sex, and then being forever haunted by that image surfacing on the internet, but I know who to ask. Go »

Technically We're Both Right

Recent encounter at my local deli: Me: (signaling my server) Excuse me, this is an egg salad sandwich. Server: Yes, bon appétit. Me: But I ordered a chicken salad sandwich. Go »