Recent conversation with Brenda:

Brenda: Where did you get that scar?

me: Which one?

Brenda: The one between your eyes.

me: I was in a bar fight in college and I got poleaxed with a barstool.

Brenda: You? Bar fight? I can't see it. You get squeamish removing a bandaid.

me: I can take care of myself.

Brenda: I'm not sure you could survive a physical encounter with the Olsen twins.

me: Only because there's two of them.


Two Replies to I'm Like Tyson Without a Face Tattoo

Scott Hardie | April 8, 2012
Speaking of facial disfigurement, what's new with Ugly On A Stick? I haven't seen an update in a while.

Steve West | April 8, 2012
She no longer works at my Safeway, much to my chagrin, joy, and displeasure simultaneously. Her replacements aren't nearly as painfully delicious.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Information, Please...

Shortly after I obtained my driver's license, I got brave enough to travel a longer distance than the liquor store. I headed to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania to visit the historic battlefield. I had always been a Civil War nut (short of reenactments) and Antietam I had seen recently (someone else drove). Go »

My First Baby Got Married

WE ARE BACK! What a trip. Five flights, countless hours in layovers, endless treks from gate to gate, sometimes in limited timeframes, no meals except for snacks on the planes and no Wi-fi! Go »

Isn't That What You Asked?

When in college, I would go bar hopping with friends on occasion. We'd go to 5, 6, 20 different bars, dance clubs, etc. I've since reformed my ways and on a wild night may go to 1 1/2 (that's one and the threat of falling asleep at the second). Go »

Darth Vader Is Alive And Well And Living In My Toaster

So we got this gift from a mother-in law who shall remain nameless; a "super-mega-nuclear look at me long enough and your face will melt like that guy in Raiders toaster. There was nothing wrong with our existing toaster but when she saw it on QVC, my nameless mother-in-law had one of those have to have it moments. I've nicknamed the toaster Darth Vader because regardless of the setting, it turns the bread to the dark side every time. Go »

Asking For A Friend

Have you ever created an amazing Excel spreadsheet, but then been disappointed because almost none of your family or friends cared? 8) Go »

Love is a Hurtin' Thing

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: I need a reservation for Valentine's Day. Brenda: I'll see if I can find a restaurant that takes reservations for one. Me: No, I need a reservation for two. Go »