Recent conversation with Brenda:

Brenda: Where did you get that scar?

me: Which one?

Brenda: The one between your eyes.

me: I was in a bar fight in college and I got poleaxed with a barstool.

Brenda: You? Bar fight? I can't see it. You get squeamish removing a bandaid.

me: I can take care of myself.

Brenda: I'm not sure you could survive a physical encounter with the Olsen twins.

me: Only because there's two of them.


Two Replies to I'm Like Tyson Without a Face Tattoo

Scott Hardie | April 8, 2012
Speaking of facial disfigurement, what's new with Ugly On A Stick? I haven't seen an update in a while.

Steve West | April 8, 2012
She no longer works at my Safeway, much to my chagrin, joy, and displeasure simultaneously. Her replacements aren't nearly as painfully delicious.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Halloween Post #2: Halloween Masks, For Real

No matter how wrinkled I get. No matter how much money I ever make. No matter how desperate I become to restore the perception of my youth. Go »

Halloween Post #7: Scary Movies

Movie moments are still stuck in my head from films I saw 30 years ago, moments that scared the crap out of me then and still run chills down my spine today. This web page has collected 100 of these scary film moments and tried to supply a Youtube clip for each one (not successful) and some interesting commentary. This site might hold you until Halloween. Go »

Dear Miriam...

Oh, thank you Miriam, that's great advice. BTW this letter is indeed a spoof of the "Dear Miriam" column in The Daily Mirror that appeared in the satirical publication Viz. Pretty damn funny, though. Go »

Driftwood Horses

I walk along the beach and I see firewood and that opening scene from Jaws. This lady sees Go »

Never Volunteer, Dummy

Ever since seeing Anthony Hopkins in Magic, ventriloquists and their evil dummies have given me the creeps. This guy does as well but I laughed nonetheless. I think I could sit through his entire act but could never get past the queasiness and actually volunteer like this guy did. Go »

Homer Sings

Do-Re-Mi as sung by Homer Simpson DOh - The stuff that buys me beer. RAY - The guy that sells me beer. ME - The guy who drinks the beer. Go »