Recent conversation with Brenda:

Brenda: Where did you get that scar?

me: Which one?

Brenda: The one between your eyes.

me: I was in a bar fight in college and I got poleaxed with a barstool.

Brenda: You? Bar fight? I can't see it. You get squeamish removing a bandaid.

me: I can take care of myself.

Brenda: I'm not sure you could survive a physical encounter with the Olsen twins.

me: Only because there's two of them.


Two Replies to I'm Like Tyson Without a Face Tattoo

Scott Hardie | April 8, 2012
Speaking of facial disfigurement, what's new with Ugly On A Stick? I haven't seen an update in a while.

Steve West | April 8, 2012
She no longer works at my Safeway, much to my chagrin, joy, and displeasure simultaneously. Her replacements aren't nearly as painfully delicious.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

An Open Letter to Trump Voters

I'm not mad at you that Clinton lost; I didn't vote for her either. I'm unconcerned that we have different politics. And I don't think less of you because you vote one way and I vote another. Go »

Real Baseball

I took the girls to a minor league baseball game last night. It was Autism Awareness night at the Bowie Baysox game which was the incentive for Brenda and I to go. The girls actually enjoyed the game for the first few innings but were more interested in the foods, carousel, moon bounce and face painting. Go »

Givin' It Up To The Man

There seems to be several different meanings to that phrase, these days especially. Meaning 1) A teenage girl in Germany sold her virginity online to an Italian businessman for $18000. She had hoped to raise $100K for schooling, I think. Go »

Strange Dreams

I dreamt that I had died and gone to Heaven. Brenda lived a few more years and then she passed. When she got to Heaven, she saw me and ran to me with open arms saying how much she had missed me. Go »

Burning Microwave Popcorn

This guy puts all kinds of different crap in the microwave and films the results. My favorite is the eggs. Go »

Never Volunteer, Dummy

Ever since seeing Anthony Hopkins in Magic, ventriloquists and their evil dummies have given me the creeps. This guy does as well but I laughed nonetheless. I think I could sit through his entire act but could never get past the queasiness and actually volunteer like this guy did. Go »