I'm Like Tyson Without a Face Tattoo
by Steve West on April 4, 2012

Recent conversation with Brenda:
Brenda: Where did you get that scar?
me: Which one?
Brenda: The one between your eyes.
me: I was in a bar fight in college and I got poleaxed with a barstool.
Brenda: You? Bar fight? I can't see it. You get squeamish removing a bandaid.
me: I can take care of myself.
Brenda: I'm not sure you could survive a physical encounter with the Olsen twins.
me: Only because there's two of them.
Two Replies to I'm Like Tyson Without a Face Tattoo
Steve West | April 8, 2012
She no longer works at my Safeway, much to my chagrin, joy, and displeasure simultaneously. Her replacements aren't nearly as painfully delicious.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Vacation Week II
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My Child is a Kite
Parenting is like flying a kite. When I was a boy of nine, I went out to fly a kite on the banks of the Potomac River. The Virginia border sat just across the river. Go »
Happy Halloween
Back when I was about ten, I went trick or treating as a witch doctor. I got to a house that I didn't know who lived there and was greeted by a kindly looking old lady. When I routinely and without much enthusiaism stated, "Trick or treat," she responded by handing me a piece of religious literature. Go »
Ahnuld's Dog, Heinrich
"Heel, Heinrich!", commands the Governator. "Kiss my grossly over-developed ass," snarls Heinrich in return. Go »
Scott Hardie | April 8, 2012
Speaking of facial disfigurement, what's new with Ugly On A Stick? I haven't seen an update in a while.