Recent conversation with Brenda:
While watching “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” in bed...

Me: Do you want to have sex?
Brenda: No.
Me: Is that your final answer?
Brenda: Yes.
Me: Then I’d like to phone a friend.
And then the fight started….


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Respen-A Or Not Respen-A?

We got a prescription for the aforementioned drug and have been administering it to Olivia for one month now. The results are pretty mixed. There have been no side effects apart from some minor appetite issues but also not a whole lot of observable benefits. Go »

Is This A Country Song Or What?

Playing a country song backwards, as the old joke goes, and your wife comes back, your dog is alive again, and your trucks rolls over onto its wheels. The Mickster has got it bad in Oscar week as his beloved chihuahua died in his arms. Not to make fun of what must have been a horrible event, but did he really need to display his mourning by attending a New York fashion show the very next day? Go »

What's For Dinner?

After 22 years of marriage, I've discovered that when two people love each other, nothing is impossible. Except deciding where to eat. Go »

I'd Pick The Kitty

This is supposedly a real newspaper clipping although I can find no reference to which paper it is and is therefore suspicious. I choose to believe it is real so I can enjoy the joke more. Go »

Mean Husband... or Funny Guy?

Since Brenda is home and doing well, I will share yet another reason I will spend ETERNITY IN HELL. At the hospital, after her surgery and recovery, she began to wake up in the room. She was covered in a blanket up to her neck, and as her eyes barely fluttered open and she saw me standing over her caressing her cheek, I said, "Baby, something went wrong and they had to remove your whole body. Go »

My Ball Got Whacked With Monkey Poo

I love miniature golf. Back in college, I spent many a drunken evening goofing off with friends, avoiding the last few pages of a term paper, or just getting the cheap thrill of pretending you're an athlete by getting your ball into Mickey Mouse's left eye to win a free game. Eat me, Arnold Palmer! Go »