I hope this doesn't set a precedent for doing this on everybody's 30th birthday, or I'm going to be busy writing these for the next few years...

Top Ten Reasons Denise Sawicki is Awesome

10) She wore red on her wedding day, and she looked good.

9) She doesn't just send the DVD as a surprise birthday gift. She sends the book they based the movie on.

8) She dressed as a lumberjack last Halloween, beard and all. (link)

7) False modesty? Not a problem.

6) She did volunteer work at a suicide prevention hotline. Some people might be alive today because of her.

5) Time and again, she has proven trustworthy for her wisdom and discretion when sought for confidential advice. (I do not mean how to get my Sims to stop peeing themselves.)

4) She discovered a new atomic particle. ...Well, almost.

3) Some people are content just to make a fan page for their favorite musician. She married him.

2) Four words: Lazy line painter Jane.

1) She has more friends who love her than she knows.


Two Replies to March 14, 1977

Denise Sawicki | March 15, 2007
Aww thanks Scott... I already mentioned in e-mail how #6 is highly unlikely. But thanks, you are sweet.

Jackie Mason | March 16, 2007
[hidden by author request]


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Scott's Pet Peeve #2519

Why do some microwaves have a convenient quick-start option if you press 1 or 2 or 3, so that they instantly start cooking with 1:00 or 2:00 or 3:00 on the clock... but DON'T have this same functionality programmed into 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, or 9, which do nothing when pressed alone? How does an engineer possess both the vision to provide the former and the lack of imagination that results in the latter? Go »

Shoulda Seen It Coming

The news that Princeton's infamous ESP research lab is soon to close (link) is both heartening and a little disappointing. On one hand, if there's anything at all to ESP, then skeptics should have no objection to private donations funding some bonafide scientific research into it – no harm done except for a hint of legitimacy. On the other hand, this lab was a black bruise for Princeton and its "findings" were routinely debunked, and a facility investigating exceptional claims must have exceptional adherence to scientific standards. Go »

Scott's Car is Dead; Long Live Scott's Car

Is it a reflection of our road-rage culture that a company named Dodge manufactures cars with violent names like Ram, Magnum, Caliber, and Viper? I pondered this at the dealership yesterday during the eternal wait between brief flurries of document-signing so I could buy my first car. It took some doing to get the sunroof and other features I wanted, but I'm now the happy (and relieved) owner of a 2007 Dodge Caliber SXT. Go »

Thank You Mario! But Our Princess is in Another Castle!

(link) Go »

Great Weekend

Some people love going fishing all weekend; others prefer a romantic getaway. The perfect weekend for me these days means getting enough sleep and writing a FIN post from start to finish, since getting even one of those is a rarity. But this weekend, I put everything else aside and did both. Go »

Signs of Summer

The recent Florida wildfires have been a nasty reminder (I drove through one burned-down forest and it was a terrible sight), but if you need any more indication that summer is here, just step outside: It's scorching. Apparently one local still didn't think it was hot enough to take precautions, as evidenced by the recent explosion in the parking lot when we pulled into a strip mall for lunch. An entire trailer had burned into ash with only a skeletal frame and two melted tires remaining. Go »