I hope this doesn't set a precedent for doing this on everybody's 30th birthday, or I'm going to be busy writing these for the next few years...

Top Ten Reasons Denise Sawicki is Awesome

10) She wore red on her wedding day, and she looked good.

9) She doesn't just send the DVD as a surprise birthday gift. She sends the book they based the movie on.

8) She dressed as a lumberjack last Halloween, beard and all. (link)

7) False modesty? Not a problem.

6) She did volunteer work at a suicide prevention hotline. Some people might be alive today because of her.

5) Time and again, she has proven trustworthy for her wisdom and discretion when sought for confidential advice. (I do not mean how to get my Sims to stop peeing themselves.)

4) She discovered a new atomic particle. ...Well, almost.

3) Some people are content just to make a fan page for their favorite musician. She married him.

2) Four words: Lazy line painter Jane.

1) She has more friends who love her than she knows.


Two Replies to March 14, 1977

Denise Sawicki | March 15, 2007
Aww thanks Scott... I already mentioned in e-mail how #6 is highly unlikely. But thanks, you are sweet.

Jackie Mason | March 16, 2007
[hidden by author request]


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

DMV Mystery

My last car, a 1996 Mercury, was registered in my mother's name, so every year in December (the month of her birthday), the registration sticker would be delivered to her at her house and she'd have to pass it to me to put on the license plate. No big deal. A few months ago, I bought a 2007 Dodge in my name, though she co-signed the credit application since I had no credit history. Go »

To the Victor Belongs the Spoils

If only I had $4000 to spare: Sopranos Pinball Go »

All King and No Kubrick Make Jack a Dull Boy

I recently got to talking with friends who liked The Shining, both Stephen King's novel and Stanley Kubrick's film adaptation of it, but who were unaware that King has always loathed the movie, despite its reputation as one of the best horror films ever made. It's hard to imagine that a writer doesn't know his own work better than someone interpreting it, but I think this is one of those rare cases where the writer is just too close to the story to get it. Here are three reasons why I think Kubrick's film better understands the material, and is better overall, than King's novel: 1) In King's version, Jack Torrance is a fundamentally decent man who wouldn't hurt a fly, but who is down on his luck and desperate. Go »

I Wonder

Is there any way I can program my car's CD player to make an "om nom nom" sound when I slide in a disc? Go »

His Name is Bond

[Spoilers for Casino Royale.] One of my favorite bits of any fan-invented mythology is the identity of 007: It is held by some series fans (and me) that "James Bond" is merely a codename. When one Bond is killed or retires, another one takes his place and assumes the same name, which is why you see a different actor every decade and the man doesn't age despite having been around since the Kennedy administration. Go »

The Importance of Being Richard

A conversation drifted today into weird shortening of names, like Robert into Bob and William into Bill (how come Michael doesn't become Bike?), and inevitably Richard into Dick came up. How did that even happen, anyway? Go »