Illinois 2013
by Scott Hardie on December 1, 2013

Ten highlights of my just-concluded road trip to northern Illinois with Kelly, in chronological order:
- Seeing lots of friends and family at our engagement party in St. Charles, our old hometown. I was glad to be able to talk to everyone there, and also glad that I now recognize almost everyone in Kelly's large family on sight. (It took me a few years!) My thanks to Chicago-area Funeratic members who joined the party with their respective spouses and kids: Jackie Mason, Lori Lancaster, and Matthew Preston. I wish I had remembered to take a group photo of us all for this site.
- Playing the depraved, adults-only Cards Against Humanity at the after-party in our hotel with Kelly's close friends from Springfield. What's good to the last drop? Leprosy.
- Dinosaur-watching at the Field Museum in Chicago. My memories of visiting it on grade school field trips are mostly about resenting the abundant stairs. As an adult today, I suppose I still don't like the stairs, but I better appreciated how neat most of the exhibits are, with appeal for all ages and knowledge levels. I wish I could spend a whole week there. Hmm, we have a honeymoon coming up...
- Eating lunch at a colorful Mexican restaurant in Princeton with Kelly's brother Andy. I rarely get one-on-one time with him, and it was refreshing to learn a different perspective on family issues that I hadn't considered before. It helps when hanging out with him that he's a pretty gregarious guy.
- Having the vacation portion of the goo tournament go smoothly. After the disastrous first week of the contest, I really did not need anything else to go wrong while I was mostly offline for ten days. Thankfully, due to advance preparation, it didn't.
- Seeing The Day of the Doctor in a huge 3D screen, even though it meant driving all the way to Davenport late at night. It really made the show cinematic, like what a Doctor Who feature film would look and feel like. Enjoying the terrific show in a room full of eager fans dressed as their favorite Doctors improved the experience even more.
- Having a great time for only a few dollars at Nickel World, and sightseeing the eighty-some Asian restaurants around Rockford. That city must have more Chinese restaurants than Hong Kong.
- Taking Kelly's mother Pat shopping in Peru for a day, while Kelly was stuck working and the rest of the family was busy. I was able to help her get around (no easy feat given her medical situation) and find precisely the right items for herself and for her family as gifts, and we had a good time.
- Introducing Kelly's family to the aforementioned Cards Against Humanity. It was worth it just for the look on Kelly's face when she realized that her retired father knows what pixelated bukkake is. It also provided what might be the single greatest poem I've ever heard:
Hulk Hogan
Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor
Dying
- Shopping for Thanksgiving dinner supplies with Kelly's father Russ, helping Kelly (just a little bit) to prepare the delicious meal, and eating around the dining table with the whole family. My transition from Kelly's boyfriend to family friend to family member has been gradual, but I realized during the meal that I now definitely feel like we're a family. In a few months, we officially will be.
One Reply to Illinois 2013
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

I Have Boring Dreams
Real men don't play tennis, and they don't play chess. They play tennis on a giant virtual chessboard where every step of their feet and bounce of the ball instructs the computer where to move the next piece. And they call it chennis. Go »
Christmas 2016
After a hectic househunt and move, it was nice to have a family vacation to take a break from everything. The whole visit had already been planned back in the summer, and we had spent six months saving up plenty of money to pay for it, so all we had to do was relax and enjoy it. Kelly's father Russ and brother Andy, and Andy's boyfriend Joe flew in for a week. Go »
Nuts and Veggies
If you haven't heard, VeggieTales is coming to NBC. Without reference to God. And the creator feels duped. Go »
Happiness, That's My Livelihood
Somehow I've agreed to teach HTML & PHP classes on Friday mornings. Two down, at least two to go. I enjoy teaching, and you know I enjoy making websites, but the getting-up-before-dawn-at-the-end-of-a-long-week part is agony. Go »
Going Green
This thing might turn out to be as short-lived as my other two attempts at a personal blog, but damn it if I haven't craved having such an outlet for the better part of a year now. It seems like a week doesn't go by that I don't have some little adventure to turn into an anecdote or a frustration to rant about. My idle thoughts are as pointless as anybody else's, I realize, but that's what the Internet is for (besides porn). Go »
Scott Hardie | January 1, 2014
The construct-a-poem card in Cards Against Humanity (technically it asks for a haiku but doesn't care about syllable count, so to me it's just about making a three-line poem) is quickly turning into my favorite. Two poems from our game last night:
Lady Gaga
Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot
Dying of dysentery
Drinking ten 5-hour Energys to get fifty continuous hours of energy
Crushing Mr. Peanut's brittle body
Leaving an awkward voicemail
If you haven't played Cards Against Humanity, get a copy and round up some friends who aren't easily embarrassed and have yourself a great time.