Random News
by Scott Hardie on November 7, 2006

Russian reporter murdered by the state. When I observed to a Bulgarian friend that Russia seems to be sinking back into its old fascist state by breaking one inviolable law at a time, he remarked that it always was that way and always will be that way. Whatever things we may dislike about our Congress or President, thank goodness they don't murder us for saying so.
Police chief ousted for telling his staff to lose weight. We live in overly sensitive times when the freakin' police can't take name-calling. Sure, there was probably more to his dismissal than just the one memo, but that job demands fitness and he said nothing unprofessional.
Bill Murray attends student party. I'm not a big fan of his, but even I can acknowledge that he is sometimes the coolest man on Earth. This smells staged but it's a neat story anyway.
Kevin Federline: "If you want to hate me, cool, hate me." All right. I'm not a big fan of his, and I'm ready to acknowledge that sometimes he is the uncoolest man on Earth.
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

No News is Good News
Yesterday I spent eight hours in a hospital waiting room in Tampa while my mother underwent surgery for a torn rotator cuff. She's recovering well, but the harm inflicted on me by eight hours of cable news has yet to wear off. It happened to be Fox News Channel, but that's irrelevant; all news is boring when you're in the hospital and are stuck watching it at length, because the newscasters only repeat over and over the breathless update that they have nothing more to report and here are the things they don't know yet. Go »
Andy Dick Killed Phil Hartman?
How is it I'm only discovering this celebrity scandal ten years later? (link) Go »
Long Live Scott's Other New Car
I never thought I'd write these words, but I'm the delighted new owner of a Hummer H2. It's all black, brand new in perfect condition. I've already got it tricked out with glowing ground-effects lights on the undercarriage and special extra-thick tires for off-roading. Go »
R.I.P. Mom
You were so still in your bed when I could finally sit down beside you, a few hours after the facility notified me that you had died. I hadn't seen you be that peaceful in years, your eyes not scanning the room for clues, your hands not turning over each object in front of you for endlessly repeated examination. I whispered to you the most urgent and most precious things I had to say, the secrets and atonements and wishes foremost on my mind. Go »
Doppelgänger
I saw myself at the grocery. Tall, fat, shaved head, black collared shirt, black slacks, black leather shoes. I caught up to myself and muttered "I like the look" with a wink, and myself smiled, then myself's girlfriend saw us together and laughed. Go »