Sixth-grader admits stabbing ducks with pencil. Does anyone else read this and think, this kid will grow up to be Jeffrey Dahmer?

Vegan parents guilty of murder. It's a sad incident, but a mistake's a mistake. With two automatic life sentences, shouldn't they have gone for negligent homicide or manslaughter?

Students attend school's first integrated prom. Is there a quote in this story that gives the impression the community has fully faced and dealt with the racism in their community? Changing the school's custom doesn't make the past go away.

It's a wrap. You're hired! Video resumes are the depressing new fad. So people can't even be bothered to read resumes any more? What's next, picking up an item of food at the grocery store wondering if it's nutritious, and having a pre-recorded person on a monitor read off to you the calories and other statistics?


Two Replies to The News is Scary

Jackie Mason | May 5, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Anna Gregoline | May 8, 2007
Those vegan parents? How can you watch your kid get thinner and sicker and sicker and not try and make them better? The article says the baby got down the 3lbs 8ozs!


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

New Dog Upstairs

Third in a series? I don't think I need to spell this one out. Needless to say, the dog seems to live in a cage directly over my kitchen, and its only hobby is barking nonstop, 24 hours a day. Go »

Redundancy

Can we add "information overload" to the list of phrases retired from the language due to clichéd overuse? It is apparently now used to describe anything remotely intense. Go »

Warp Zone

President Bush has a new advisor: (link) Go »

Where the Hell I Have Been All Year, Part III

This is a long story of interest only to friends of mine and people who really want to spend fifteen minutes reading about my life, but I've been promising to reveal this secret for the better part of a year and the time has come: Kelly Lee and I were a couple again this past spring. I kept it secret because A) it was difficult to tell the friends who had supported me during her breakup that we were dating again and B) for the duration of the relationship I didn't know where it was going and I wanted to know this before I said anything. Anyway, this story is solely my point of view and may not be fair to hers. Go »

Cheesed

If life is about simple pleasures, does the return of Taco Bell's chili cheese burrito qualify? I don't know if it's nationwide, but they've returned on a wave of marketing around here. It was my favorite menu item a decade ago, until lack of counter space in the kitchen eliminated chili from a supposedly "Mexican" restaurant. Go »

Illinois-a Will Destroy Ya

Today, I was asked to jot down some memories of living in Illinois. I thought about a topic and wrote: Some of what I miss most about Illinois is the delicious, filling food. Loose meat sandwiches at the Maid-Rite in Peru, chocolate shakes at the Steak ‘n Shake in Normal, deep-dish pizza at Pequod’s in Lincoln Park, monte cristo sandwiches at the Sunrise in Macomb, horseshoes at the Field House in Springfield, pecan waffles at the Waffle Company in Mt. Go »