The News is Scary
by Scott Hardie on May 4, 2007

Sixth-grader admits stabbing ducks with pencil. Does anyone else read this and think, this kid will grow up to be Jeffrey Dahmer?
Vegan parents guilty of murder. It's a sad incident, but a mistake's a mistake. With two automatic life sentences, shouldn't they have gone for negligent homicide or manslaughter?
Students attend school's first integrated prom. Is there a quote in this story that gives the impression the community has fully faced and dealt with the racism in their community? Changing the school's custom doesn't make the past go away.
It's a wrap. You're hired! Video resumes are the depressing new fad. So people can't even be bothered to read resumes any more? What's next, picking up an item of food at the grocery store wondering if it's nutritious, and having a pre-recorded person on a monitor read off to you the calories and other statistics?
Two Replies to The News is Scary
Anna Gregoline | May 8, 2007
Those vegan parents? How can you watch your kid get thinner and sicker and sicker and not try and make them better? The article says the baby got down the 3lbs 8ozs!
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Mystery Gift
Thank you, Johnson, whoever you are. I received what I presume is a birthday gift hand-labeled from someone named "Johnson" in Jacksonville, Alabama, postmarked Anniston, Alabama on May 22nd. This means it's someone who knows me well enough to anticipate my birthday and know my home address. Go »
Windbag
I don't know what Polaroids he has of whom, but somehow Tom Skilling has elevated himself to some kind of all-important weather-broadcasting god. When I grew up in Chicago, I watched him gradually get a bigger and bigger budget for his animated graphics, and gradually get a larger and larger timeframe to deliver his dull reports. By the time I left town, he had a whole 20 minutes of the hour-long midday newscast for the fucking weather, and boy did he find trivia to fill it: Average dew points across Cook County on this day in 1854, theta-e temperature predictions for every Cubs home game next season, you name it. Go »
Pug Life
A friend recently contacted Kelly and me out of the blue to ask if we could take care of her dog for six days while she was on vacation, since the arranged sitter was suddenly unavailable. Neither Kelly nor I have experience taking care of dogs, and we're definitely not dog people. I was attacked by a dog when I was little and I've never been comfortable around them, especially any dog large enough to leap up from the ground and reach my face with its teeth. Go »
Atkins
I'm now in my fourth week on the Atkins diet. I had planned to write about it at the start and maybe once each week, but I've been so busy... dieting. Go »
Other Contents Under Pressure
"So this guy is on a dinner date, and he has terrible gas, but he waits because he doesn't want to be embarrassed. When they get back to her house, he can't wait any longer. He desperately asks where her bathroom is, and she says first door on the left. Go »
Jackie Mason | May 5, 2007
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