WGW: If It's Good Enough for Dan Marino, It's Good Enough for Me
by Scott Hardie on January 10, 2008

This is more like Weight-Gain Wednesday after a week and a half with Kelly, bouncing around Sarasota restaurants and Disney World. No matter how many thousands of calories I burned walking around that theme park for three days, I'm sure I consumed twice as many, and that was just in fudge from the Main Street Confectionery.
Now that I'm back and I've done some very scientific research – asking a friend whether she hated one – I have chosen NutriSystem over Medifast as the exclusive supplier of my every meal. 1) They don't have shakes. You know, like Slim Fast? Those shakes are unholy. 2) They provide my every meal, instead of leaving me on my own for dinner. Sure, I can fix a sensible dinner. That's how I got into this mess in the first place. 3) Their website doesn't annoy me. Call it professional training. 4) You can choose your own menu from the options available. Goodbye split pea soup, hello chocolate peanut-butter bar. 5) Dan Marino lost 22 lbs, and now he looks like *I* could beat him up.
I fired Dr. Can't and passed on the echocardiograph test that he booked for me. I keep taking painful, expensive tests and he keeps telling me that my heart is fine, so enough already. Let's get to what's actually wrong with me. The only thing I have left to fear is winding up in the hospital any time soon and having to sit through his icy disposition again, more so now that he's fired. Hey, it's more incentive to lose weight.
One Reply to WGW: If It's Good Enough for Dan Marino, It's Good Enough for Me
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

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I'm now in my fourth week on the Atkins diet. I had planned to write about it at the start and maybe once each week, but I've been so busy... dieting. Go »
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On Friday, my company threw a part Mexican, part Star Wars party in celebration of Cinco de Mayo and Star Wars Day ("May the 4th be with you"). It was a weird combination but it worked, with games like a lightsaber piñata bash. Kelly made "lightsabers" (pretzel rods frosted with blue and red frosting), but she really got interested when I mentioned that the salsa contest offered three prizes and only had three teams on the signup sheet. Go »
Mars Needs Kitties
Thanks to Lori for sending me this: That gets me thinking: Do you think if people hadn't had the idea for crop circles until a decade later that the fad would have even happened? In this decade we have the tools on personal computers to fake images like this with photo-perfect results, and hoaxers could just distribute photos with the click of a mouse. Photos have been doctored for decades, of course, but now your grandma can do it, you know? Go »
Powerless
Going without electricity in Florida can be a miserable affair. You sweat non-stop. You sleep fitfully at best, waking up in pools of your own body fluid. Go »










Jackie Mason | January 11, 2008
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