Matt Thornton
This celebrity goo was created by Scott Hardie.
This goo was worth a point in July 2026.
publication date: Saturday, July 11, 2026 (part of July 2026)
category: 
Sports
clue: He isn't a physician from New Hampshire. He's a retired baseball player and 2010 all-star whose skill at pitching was a thorn in opponents' sides.
intended difficulty: medium
solved by: Russ Wilhelm and Richard Slominsky
trivia: This goo was inspired by founding father Matthew Thornton.
You're Not My Real Founding Fathers!: America loves its Founding Fathers, and the nation's 250th anniversary makes for a fine opportunity to celebrate them. But wait—who are these imitators? These are actors, and musicians, and authors, and athletes! Their John Hancocks are very similar, but these aren't the real Founding Fathers! Starting apropos on Father's Day, here are a whopping fifty goos to challenge your knowledge of patriotic trivia. Can you identify these fifty fake signatories to a Declaration of Independence that never was? With luck, you\ll hold these goos to be self-evident.Similar Goos
Dick Stockton
He isn't a lawyer from New Jersey. He's a retired broadcaster whose career spanned numerous sports, networks, and decades, having called such memorable moments as Carlton Fisk's winning homer in game 6 of the 1975 World Series, Michael Jordan's buzzer-beater in game 1 of the 1989 NBA Playoffs, and Dan Jansen's gold-medal finish at the 1994 Olympics. Go »
Georgia Taylor-Brown
She isn't an ironmaster from Pennsylvania. She's a British triathlete who, earlier this decade, tied for the best Olympic performance of all time in her sport. Go »
June Blair
She wasn't a judge from Virginia. She was an actress who married into a TV-perfect 1950s family, complete with Ricky Nelson as the best man. Go »
John Witherspoon
He wasn't a minister from New Jersey. He was Ice Cube's weekday father, Kid & Play's annoyed neighbor, Robert Townsend's fast-food boss, Eddie Murphy's vamping victim, and a very animated granddad. Go »
Frances Dana Barker Gage
She wasn't a lawyer from Massachusetts. She was a universal suffragist and abolitionist who refused to sit on her fanny in the face of injustice, until an accident forced it. Go »
