Transformers: The Last Knight

Evie Totty: “It was ok.”

I clicked on 'It sucked' first but changed it to 'It was ok' because I found myself in a few tense moments.

Basically I went to the premiere to get a T-shirt.

The story was confusing when it came to the military. There was a TRF (Transformer something or other) and the military Josh Duhamel's character played (he's bee in all 5, poor guy). And I could never tell who's side they were on.

At one point they made a deal with the Decepticons to get an object from Cade (Wahlberg)... and ratted him out TO the Decepticons!

WHY?? IF THEY KNEW WERE HE WAS - WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST GO TALK TO HIM? But NO - they let loose some of the world's most dangerous robots.

Then more confusion. Prime easily getting brainwashed (why did he go back to Cybertron again? NO IDEA) and just as easily getting UN-brainwashed.

The perky 14-year old. What was her purpose? Yeah that's what I thought. And don't say 'to blow up the gun'. Deus ex machina.

I went into it going 'Well Hopkins is in it - that should mean SOMETHING'. NOPE!

If you want to go see two and a half hours of MASTERFUL CGI - go see the movie. If not - here's the story:

Prime goes to Cybertron
Ursula (not her name but close - I'm so mad I don't even want to look it up) tells him that Earth is really Omnicron. Cybertron's sworn enemy.
Ursula brainwashes Prime - creating Nemesis Prime (Isn't PRIME like a last name? And OPTIMUS being the unique part? Like he's the LAST PRIME?)
Cybertron heads toward Earth (or was it already?)
Cade is The Last Knight chosen apparently randomly but not randomly from some ancient Transformer come to Earth (but that was supposed to already be on Earth?)
(BTW all Cade did as TLK was to stop the ancient transformers who fought with King Arthur - yes, another King Arthur story - from killing Prime)
A new hot chick with seemingly dozens of doctorates is apparently the last descendant of Merlin is introduced. Only she can wield the staff.
Oh wait, apparently Megatron can too and Ursula
Cybertron ARRIVES AT EARTH. IMPACTS yet nothing really happens other than the physical destruction caused by the tendrils of Cybertron. No gravity anomolies, no being knocked out of orbit... nothing.
Ursula puts the staff in the 'ignition chamber' so that it begins to suck Omnichron (or whatever) dry and thus Earth
They stop her
Cade and the new chick have apparently fallen in love in a matter of hours
Bay says there will be no more but the end of the movie is clearly a tease for more

The end.This review contains spoilers. Reveal it.

− June 21, 2017 • more by Evie • log in or register to reply