I Have Never

Scott Hardie | June 2, 2005
Since the "Four True Things" discussion (link) seemed to be such a hit, I thought I'd introduce a variation.

Share five mundane activities you have never done: Four true, one made-up. See if you can guess which statements other authors made up.

My list:

1) I have never gone fishing.

2) I have never hugged a child.

3) I have never been inside a women's restroom.

4) I have never seen the Grand Canyon.

5) I have never broken a bone.

Remember, these should be totally mundane activities, things that most people have done at some point. So what haven't you done?

(Idea: Ann Althouse (link) via BTD Greg)

Lori Lancaster | June 2, 2005
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Anna Gregoline | June 2, 2005
1. I have never donated blood.

2. I have never been on a rollercoaster.

3. I have never been out of the country.

4. I have never been in court.

5. I have never changed a diaper.


Remember guys, wait for a little while so we can all guess at the answers!

Scott Horowitz | June 2, 2005
5) I've never gone skydiving
4) I've never joined the mile-high club
3) I've never pissed in public
2) I've never drank from an open container
1) I've never gone camping.

Michael Paul Cote | June 2, 2005
1) I've never had a full beard
2) I've never skinny dipped
3) I've never fainted
4) I've never watched "Gone with the Wind" in it's entirety
5) I've never watched the sunrise over the ocean

Denise Sawicki | June 2, 2005
1. I've never gone to kindergarten
2. I've never tried sushi
3. I've never gone fishing
4. I've never watched any of the original Star Wars movies in their entirety
5. I've never been to Mexico

Scott Hardie | June 2, 2005
This is a lot tougher. I recognize a few items so far as true, but most are a total blanks to me. Here are my totally wild guesses:

Lori: Are you making fun of my list? :) I guess that you have read Catcher in the Rye, because I know that our former mutual acquaintance read it in high school, and liked it if I remember correctly, so he might have passed it on to you. Or you might have been assigned it in class.

Anna: With all the car accidents you'be been in, I'm going to guess that you've been in a courtroom at some point. ;-)

Scott: Odd list, if ones imagines you doing all five of those activities in rapid consecutive order. :) Anyway, I'll guess that you've gone skydiving.

Mike: I guess that you've gone skinny-dipping, for reasons too boring to explain.

Denise: I know one of yours for sure. You'd think I'd know one or two of the others since I've read your whole life story. :) I will reluctantly guess that you have indeed tried sushi. Was there any sushi at that Chinese buffet we visited? [Please nobody point out that sushi is not Chinese food. I know.]

Kris Weberg | June 2, 2005
1. I've never taken music lessons of any sort, not even self-teaching.
2. I've never had a phot album or carried photos of people I know.
3. I've never played competetively, not even in an amateur or kids' sports team.
4. I've never cooked anything on a stove.
5. I've never gotten a ticket while driving.

Anna Gregoline | June 2, 2005
Scott - that's really funny!

Isn't it weird how Chinese places and Japanese places will often have the other culture's food? The Japanese/sushi place I go to regularly has a whole section on the menu for Chinese food. It's like they are purposely trying to confuse, or else they got tired of people asking for the other culture's food so they just gave in and offered it.

Scott Hardie | June 3, 2005
Kris: Tough list, since all five are more or less plausible. I guess that you have cooked something on a stove at least once, which might be untrue since you've been a college student for a very long time now. :)

Anna: I agree, and I think it's the same reasoning. There's a Chinese buffet that I visit weekly here, and they have a large arrangement of sushi, as well as Korean, Vietnamese, Thai, and Indian items on the buffet line. Of course, what Chinese buffet would be complete without some kind of half-assed pizza or mac & cheese for the kids? Another buffet here offers pigs-in-a-blanket, or as we call them, "American rolls."

Anna Gregoline | June 3, 2005
All I've ever known Kris to consume is tobasco sauce (I think he put it on white bread at one point) so I'm going to guess that not cooking on a stove is probably true. I'll predict my guesses on everyone's tomorrow.

Oh, and of course a lot of Japanese restaurants will offer a fortune cookie at the end...

Kris Weberg | June 3, 2005
I think it has to do with relative popularity here -- people like a certain number of Chinese dishes, but about the only Japanese food with major cachet is sashimi/sushi, so Japanese restaurants have to provide an option that's both popular and appealing to the "eeew, raw fish" crowd. (You know who you are.)

Chinbese restaurants don't usually have sushi, at least not outside of big cities that I've lived in. But I know they have an incentive to include sushi -- it's higher price-point. Same raw materials as any other fish-n-rice dish, plus a bit of kelp and some prepackaged wasabi and you can charge at least twice as much.

Basically, people will pay more for sushi than for cooked fish, not many people know non-sushi-related Japanese cuisine, and everyone knows Chinese cuisine.

Steve West | June 3, 2005
Scott Hardie's #2 would make me sad if it were true. It's something I experience daily and it never ceases to gratify.

As for me:
1) I have never skipped school.
2) I have never flown a kite.
3) I have never owned an umbrella.
4) I have never purchased novelty underwear.
5) I have never been fingerprinted.

Lori Lancaster | June 3, 2005
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Lori Lancaster | June 3, 2005
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Amy Austin | June 3, 2005
Scott: I'm with Steve on this one, but... you've never been in a "ladies' room"?? Not even as part of your job (to clean it or stock TP, for example) or on accident??? (I know that I've waltzed on into a men's room at least twice -- by accident, of course!)

Lori: Gosh, I think yours are kind of hard. (But, I do have to admit that on both this exercise and the other, I keep getting confused by what's supposed to be true and made up... it seems to me that it would be easier to find the one *true* thing among the falsehoods than the other way around!) I'll just say #5, though, since I'm counting on Scott's logic... ;-D

Anna: I think your #2 is fake. I just can't imagine *anyone* never having ridden a rollercoaster... for same reasons as Steve said about Scott's #2 -- that would just be sad. And you are just too close to the Six Flags Great America for it to be a proximity thing!

Scott Ho: On #3... what constitutes "public" -- outside of a bathroom proper, or somewhere that you could be caught? This seems made-up to me, since I don't think I've *ever* known a man who hadn't pissed somewhere illegitimate! (But if the "great outdoors" doesn't count, then I also have a hard time believing #1 -- the *last* one, that is -- so this makes it tougher.) I guess I'll go with the camping.

Michael: Though siding with Scott on this is tempting, I'm throwing my lot in with Lori for this one... since I don't really know anybody personally who *has* fainted! Wait... there I go getting confused again! ;-D What Scott said -- #2 -- the skinny-dipping, *not* the fainting... (sigh)

Denise: Uh... would it be rude/presumptuous of me to say, "Duh! #4!!!" This *could* be a trick, but I'm staying with it anyway. ;-P

Kris: Scott's right -- yours *is* a tough list! But I'll go with #5, since that's just the hardest one for me to believe.

Steve: What a strange list... or is it the list-maker??? ;-D To quote Lori: "I'm going to throw out a wild guess for #3." Or #4. ;-p

Hmmm... this is a harder list to make.

Amy Austin | June 3, 2005
BTW... Lori, you must have some rather cool/liberal-minded folks that would just "call you in" for a day out of school -- that shit would *never* fly in my folks' house! (Unless it served a purpose of their own, that is.) ;-P

Amy Austin | June 3, 2005
Okay, here goes...

1) I've never been to Disney Land.
2) I've never taken a trip by train.
3) I've never been to Europe.
4) I've never gone to Alaska.
5) I've never been snow-skiing.

Anna Gregoline | June 3, 2005
"Basically, people will pay more for sushi than for cooked fish, not many people know non-sushi-related Japanese cuisine, and everyone knows Chinese cuisine."

I'd have to say I agree but would also like to add that, at least for me, to eat a piece of sushi means that the fish is of VERY high quality. Otherwise, it tastes like crap. The rules are more lenient with cooked fish, but we digress from the thread.

Ok, my guesses!

Scott Hardie

4) I have never seen the Grand Canyon.

I am having a great difficulty and my mind is playing tricks on me - I feel like you have both mentioned breaking a bone and the Grand Canyon to me. But I'll guess this one.


Lori Lancaster

5. I've never read Catcher in the Rye.

I feel like you would have read this, but I could be wrong. All of yours sound really plausible!


Scott Horowitz

5) I've never gone skydiving
4) I've never joined the mile-high club
3) I've never pissed in public
2) I've never drank from an open container
1) I've never gone camping.

I too, wonder about the pissing in public thing. I mean, "public" is kind of vague. I mean, in some definitions thereof, I've had sex in public. >=)

I guess I'll go with 1) I've never gone camping.

Michael Paul Cote

5) I've never watched the sunrise over the ocean

Just a guess.


Denise Sawicki

5. I've never been to Mexico.

Another guess.

Kris Weberg

4. I've never cooked anything on a stove.


Steve West

2) I have never flown a kite.


Amy Austin Magril

4) I've never gone to Alaska.

Again, just a guess. You've got so many place ones, Amy! It's hard to guess.

Lori Lancaster | June 3, 2005
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Scott Horowitz | June 3, 2005
Are we supposed to say what's true and false or wait a bit?

Denise Sawicki | June 3, 2005
Anna, I'll go with 4 for the same reason Scott mentioned - even though you weren't driving they may have wanted you in court as a witness or something.

Lori, just to be different I'll say 3 - that you have had a cavity.

Scott Horowitz, I'm sure I'm misunderstanding you on 2 but how would you drink from a closed container? Are we talking about some alcohol offense here? Are we talking about drinking straight from the milk carton? I'm sure I'm being dumb but I'll say 2, that you did at some point drink something from some kind of container. :P

Kris, again to be different I will say 1.

Amy, I'll say that 3 is false, you have been to Europe. I guess it sounds like kind of a big area to miss in your travels.

OK, I think I've made enough random guesses so I'll stop there. I'm glad my list was slightly more perplexing this time around :)

Scott Horowitz | June 3, 2005
Not saying if I did or did these things yet, but I will clarify definitions.

Open Container is meaning the alcohol offense. Drinking a beer outside of a closed environment.

Peeing in public. Pissing in a public place that is not a bathroom.

Kris Weberg | June 3, 2005
Amy got me -- it's number 5. Got a reckless ticket for turning right on a red against oncoming traffic.

Denise Sawicki | June 3, 2005
I'll stick with my open container guess. I did that myself last weekend (ok it was something less yucky tasting than a beer but same difference) so it can't be all that daring of a thing to do. Of course being in a civilized area might help to discourage you from that behaviour (as well as from peeing outside)...

Amy Austin | June 3, 2005
Okay, it seems that Scott's list leaves the most room for questioning definitions. Since Denise went ahead and pointed out the silliness of the "open container" phrasing, (though I knew and understood it to be alcohol), I will go ahead and say that I was also questioning technicalities on that one as well... meaning, you only committed the offense? Or, you were *caught* commiting the offense? Because technically, having a beer in your front yard can be considered "open container" and is kind of ridiculous. But, on the other hand... having a beer in the car... even if you *don't* get caught... well, that's a little more in league with your list, I guess. I'm leaning to changing my guess to Denise's now! (Can I do that? ;-D)

And I guess that I must be wrong on Denise's. So I'd like to go with Scott's now, since my perception of Denise as having a cultured and inquisitive mind would seem to preclude never having tried sushi. (Then again, if she's never seen the whole "first" trilogy in its entirety, then maybe she isn't really as cultured as I'm prone to believe... ;-p ;-DDD)

I bet Scott's wrong about Lori now, too, since I chose that one with him! ;-) I give up. ;-D

Jackie Mason | June 3, 2005
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Jackie Mason | June 3, 2005
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Anna Gregoline | June 3, 2005
Ridden a horse naked! My goodness.

I will say "I've never broken into a house."

Scott Hardie | June 4, 2005
I think it's been long enough now. Amy figured right: I have been in women's restrooms many times, usually to clean them. I do remember visiting Lori and Serina a few times, but whether hugs were shared, I have forgotten. I can recall holding children and holding babies, but not specifically hugging either (since being one anyway).

Sushi is one of those foods that people are convinced that I'll like "if you just try it!" no matter how much I insist that I've eaten it numerous times and never enjoyed it. Lobster is another one. "Oh just try a piece! You'll like it!" Arrgh.

Steve: I have no idea. I suppose I'll guess that you have skipped school at some point, as Lori explained. She and I have similar memories on the matter. In high school, I used to print out "please excuse Scott's absence yesterday" letters on my home computer and then forge my father's signature on them. Eventually it dawned on me that the school's secretary had no idea how my father signed his name and I started to sign in my own handwriting. :-)

Amy: I guess that you've been to Alaska. Your career took you all over the Pacific, so for all I know that could have been just another stop. (Yes, I know it was the South Pacific.) It's implausible but less so than the other options.

Jackie: When you say trilogy, do you mean complete? Because I know you eventually saw the first two films, and I'm pretty sure you missed the third, so I don't know if that counts or not. Anyway, that's my guess.

Michael Paul Cote | June 4, 2005
Jackie playing Lady Godiva, that would be interesting! Too cool not to be true.
Here are my guesses
Lori: #2
Anna: #5
Scott Horowitz: #1
Denise: #1
Kris: #5
Steve: #3
Amy: #1
Jackie: #4
Scott Hardy: Does that mean you've never hugged a child? I'm confused.

Denise Sawicki | June 5, 2005
In the attempt to make it less than completely obvious (I'm awfully open about stating all my experiences and non-experiences) I had to say mine such that even I am not 100% sure which are true. But hey, I guess Scott isn't 100% sure if he's hugged a child :). (I don't think I have either, by the way).

1. I've never gone to kindergarten

True, I skipped kindergarted and went to 1st grade at age 5.

2. I've never tried sushi

False, good for Scott (+ Amy's second guess). They were handing out free samples at the grocery store so I took some. It was OK. I haven't ever purposefully ordered it though. I don't usually choose to eat any kind of fish or seafood.

3. I've never gone fishing

True, and pretty weird for North Dakota as hunting and fishing is all people do I think.

4. I've never watched any of the original Star Wars movies in their entirety

True, to the best of my knowledge - I never watched any of them as a kid. A number of years ago, a guy I was dating tried to show me the first one but I got bored and started kissing him and totally missed it... Then a few months ago Darrell decided to show them all to me (one per evening). He brought his brother along to watch, too, which tends to somewhat, though not completely, discourage that kind of behavior. Nonetheless I was really tired that week and in each case I believe I fell asleep during pivotal scenes - I certainly don't remember seeing any Death Stars exploding, which apparently happened in both movies 1 and 3. In movie two I woke up and Luke was missing a hand and somewhere in there I missed the most famous pivotal scene of all :P. Yeah for those that don't know it apparently Luke's father is some evil dude or something. He seemed kind of upset about it. (of course I knew that already :P can't live in this world for 28 years without knowing that)

Anyway Scott might remember me commenting that I could never be a starship pilot because space battles put me right to sleep. It's really quite bizarre because I normally have insomnia pretty bad. I think I should set up a TV showing Star Wars in my bedroom to put me to sleep.

5. I've never been to Mexico

Again, true to the best of my knowledge. I don't think my parents took me there as a baby or anything but you never know :P

Lori Lancaster | June 5, 2005
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Steve West | June 5, 2005
1) I have never skipped school.
True. College doesn't count because I paid for it. I'll go or not go as I please (and I did).

2) I have never flown a kite.
True. Only one sad experience as a child watching my father attempt to fly one for me and my brother. He fell in the mud, cursed wildly, and marched us home. Never appealed to me do do it again.

3) I have never owned an umbrella.
True. I've shared the use of one from time to time but never owned one that I considered mine. An old stand up routine (can't remember the comic) pretty much sums up my attitude toewards umbrellas not being manly somehow. "You ever see John Wayne say in a movie, 'Well let's round up a posse and we'll go after him but wait a minute while I get my umbrella.' "

4) I have never purchased novelty underwear.
True. I was gifted with a pair once that looked like a tuxedo including attached bow tie that played something like 'Sharped Dressed Man" when you pushed on the tie.

5) I have never been fingerprinted.
False. Lori was right for the wrong reason. My current job requires a security clearance and fingerprinting was SOP. Can't remember about my birth certificate so maybe Lori was right for the right reasons after all.

Jackie Mason | June 5, 2005
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Anna Gregoline | June 6, 2005
1. I have never donated blood.

True. I tried. Twice. Once I was thrown back, once my vein collapsed.

2. I have never been on a rollercoaster.

True. Never went with family, friends, or school.


3. I have never been out of the country.

True.

4. I have never been in court.

True.

5. I have never changed a diaper.

True.

I screwed up and mine are all technically true. I'm an idiot. The negatives threw me off in this one. Sorry guys.

Michael Paul Cote | June 6, 2005
Skinny dipping is the one. Guilty as charged and I'm not talking about as a kid. This was at a hotel with about 20 other people we got caught by security and kicked out of the pool. No charges were filed.

Amy Austin | June 6, 2005
HAHAHAHAHA on Jackie and Anna's... glad to know I'm not the only one who had difficulty with the true/negative thing! Great!!! ;-DDD

Lori's the only one who got me -- it was #2... I have, in fact, taken Amtrak up or down the Eastern coast twice: once from Florida to North Carolina and once from Central Florida to South Florida. Both times were before I had a car (didn't until I was 24), and I was too poor to fly (when flying wasn't nearly as cheap), but too "good" for the bus (and anyone who's *ever* taken a trip by Greyhound should know exactly what I'm talking about on this one!!!) ;-D

Sadly, even though I've spent time in California, I've never been to Disney Land. (Being from Florida, *of course* I've been to Disney World... many times!)

Also sad is having lived in Washington for 5 years and never visiting the Space Needle, Mount St. Helen's, *or* Alaska. (Especially crummy is that I would have a place to stay if I went -- I have an online friend there!) There *used* to be a Navy base up there (Adak) that used to have a billet for photographer(s?)... but it's long since been closed -- before my time in. And I've heard of the rare visit by a ship up that way (kind of like the Lincoln's stop in Santa Barbara when I was onboard!)... but never my ship... and not sure if even carriers, either.

The sucky thing about being a West Coast Sailor is that you won't ever see Europe... unless your ship does a home-port/coast change and cruises around the world to get there (as the Vinson is doing currently... and a year late, or else I might have gone with). So, never been to Europe -- only the rest of the world! ;-D (Actually, I've never been to South America or Africa, either... ;-p)

It's true that I've never worn snow-skis. But, I *have* been snow-boarding in Canada, and *that* was the most fun I've ever had getting the shit beat out of me!!! The day after, I swore my undying empathy with all of the NFL. ;-D

Believe it or not, there is a desert equivalent of snow-boarding... and I'm thinking that it must be called "sand-boarding" -- but I've never been. A group in my lab had gone on the cruise before I came onboard, and I saw an awesome shot of one riding a dune. Pretty fucking cool!

Scott Horowitz | June 6, 2005
Mine

5) I've never gone skydiving
True, tho always wanted to.
4) I've never joined the mile-high club
True, can't find the right girl
3) I've never pissed in public
This I have done. Pissed off the top of a building once
2) I've never drank from an open container
True. Don't want to get arrested.
1) I've never gone camping.
True, being outdoors kills my allergies.

Steve Dunn | June 7, 2005
1) I never cheated on my wife or any girlfriend.

2) I never started a physical fight.

3) I never washed windows.

4) I never drove drunk.

5) I never cheated in college or law school.

Scott Hardie | June 10, 2005
Steve, I bet you've started a fight. If you'd cheated on your wife or in law school, I don't think you'd say so here, but your stories from foreign travels, all that much time spent in bars, makes the fight sound plausible. Then again, driving drunk could be plausible too.

Amy Austin | June 10, 2005
I'll second that. (And I think that his stories make the cheating plenty enough plausible, too... but I really don't think he would admit to such a thing here!!! ;-P ;-D) But wait... they could be ALL TRUE again, couldn't they!!! Steve, didn't I already DQ you for telling the truth?!?!?! :-{} ;-D

Steve Dunn | June 13, 2005
I drove drunk one time in high school, during an invincible phase. It was a sort of experiment, to see what all the fuss was about. Not a good idea in retrospect, obviously, but I was lucky.

All the rest of them are true.