Planet of the Apes

Scott Hardie | November 9, 2005
Oh, how I wish I had time for an adequate condemnation of the Kansas Board of Education's 6-4 decision to teach intelligent design in schools. (link) To put it succinctly, it's a reckless, deeply flawed, willfully ill-considered, dangerous policy that deservingly makes them the laughingstock of the nation and the world. Worst of all, it undermines one of the most important things children need to learn in school, which is the ability to think critically: Rather than giving children a chance to "hear both sides" of the story and decide for themselves, it teaches them that any baseless, non-empirical, made-up sham of a belief system deserves equal treatment in the rigid discipline of science if enough people like the sound of it. We couldn't do more harm to children if we taught them the world was flat and heat was an invisible liquid. This is insane.

Disclaimer: When I call intelligent design a made-up sham, I refer not to the plausible central concept that a deific being created the universe, but to the ridiculous notion that this isn't Christian creationism just because we started calling it by a different name. Who's falling for it?

Personal update: I will be back to TC as soon as I have more than five minutes of free time a day.

Erik Bates | November 9, 2005
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Michael Paul Cote | November 9, 2005
I like it! Can we elect the FSM president. His noodly appendage is much nicer than another famous former president's noodly appendage.

Jackie Mason | November 10, 2005
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Amy Austin | November 10, 2005
Where were you guys for this: (link) ???

Erik Bates | November 10, 2005
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Lori Lancaster | November 11, 2005
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Amy Austin | November 11, 2005
God, I'm glad that guy was never President...

Whenever you're feeling really down on Bush, just think. I'm sort of inclined to believe that Mr. Robertson has him beat on totally asinine comments.

Michael Paul Cote | November 11, 2005
I remember him protesting, very loudly I might add, about D & D back in the 80's. Isn't America great in that any a-hole with a bunch of money can get his own tv network and show and spout off their demented views on any subject. I wonder if New Orleans also rejected "God" because Pat's God hasn't done a whole lot to help those folks out. They must have passed on intelligent design also.

Jackie Mason | November 12, 2005
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Scott Hardie | November 19, 2005
All I can say is, I feel sorry for the vast majority of Christians who are compassionate, non-judgmental, thy-neighbor-loving people who are given a bad name by insane, hateful bigots like Robertson and Fred Phelps.

Jackie Mason | November 20, 2005
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Scott Hardie | November 22, 2005
Let's take a moment to compare. The movement behind intelligent design says it's perfectly ok to teach Christian creationism in school as long as we take Christ out of it. On the other hand, there's a movement to boycott stores like Target for using generic terms like "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas." (link)

Let's get the message across that you cannot take Christ out of Christmas, even if you are trying to hide the very words Merry Christmas!

Jackie Mason | December 1, 2005
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Kris Weberg | December 1, 2005
The saddest thing about the Christmas tree controversy -- well, aside from its content and the attention it's getting, since I rather doubt that a few stores calling it soemthing else will effect massive cultural change -- is that pine trees have nothing to do with the actual Christ's Mass at the holiday's origin. They're a symbol of Odin worship from Scandinavia and Germany that the early Christians hung onto after conversion.

It's rather like the way that Santa Claus, a much older folkloric figure, was identified with the Catholic St. Nicholas of Smyrna...who has since been decanonized by the Roman church. In addition to being a patron saint of children (among others), Nicholas was also the patron saint of pawnbrokers, which, come to think, isn't too far from the meaning that Christmas has for some of us.

Jackie Mason | December 1, 2005
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Kris Weberg | December 1, 2005
In fairness to Falwell -- though I ask myself why I'd bother -- the "War on Christmas" is a Bill O'Reilly thing as much as it's anything.

And since it got him lots of attention and boosted ratings a year ago, here we are again.

Michael Paul Cote | December 1, 2005
If you check, you'll find that a whole bunch of christian symbols and celebrations come from pagan backgrounds. It was the way the early popes made conversion seem less harsh. (Let them keep their holy days, we'll just build our religion around them to make it look good.)

Kris Weberg | December 1, 2005
Right...which is why so much of the incoporated paganism that'ss called 'Christian culture" and that some will defend to the bone makes me snicker a bit.

Newsflash -- nothing in the Bible about when Jesus was born, nor about pine trees and giving gifts to little kids. Indeed, the Puritans who played such a large part in this country's history explcitly opposed Christmas for those sorts of reasons.

Scott Hardie | December 5, 2005
Maybe since torture is illegal under the Geneva Conventions, the Bush administration can start calling it "holiday questioning."

Kris Weberg | December 8, 2005
And just as with most holiday gifts, the work that goes into holiday torturing mostly happens overseas.

Amy Austin | December 9, 2005
Are you insinuating that there are actually "torture sweat shops", Kris??? ;-)

Kris Weberg | December 10, 2005
Naw, just cracking on extraordinary rendition of the sort that's got Germany a bit miffed at us right now.

Jackie Mason | December 20, 2005
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Amy Austin | December 21, 2005
Well, I guess everyone in Pennsylvainia will be going to hell.

Nah... but now maybe we know where the next natural disaster will hit, since we have learned that hurricanes do, in fact, favor heathens! ;-DDD Hmmm... what will it be, I wonder???

One more indicator of PA's impending doom: (link)

Michael Paul Cote | December 21, 2005
By, favoring heathens, do you mean like, targets them? Or ignores them? And are the Amish heathens? I guess I'm confused. And as far as Pennsylvanians going to hell, wouldn't that be redundant?

Amy Austin | December 22, 2005
I mean "targets", of course (heheh... another bunch of heathens!) -- and I was referring to that article because of the Amish adoption of modernity through use of the Internet (did you read it?)... I just thought it was funny, and I was just trying (apparently unsuccessfully) to be funny about it. And I thought Hell was in Michigan or Minnesota... one of those 'M' states!

Michael Paul Cote | December 22, 2005
Amy, I recognized your humor and was trying to match it with my own. Sarcasm doesn't come across well on a web site. And actually I always thought it was NJ that won the distinction.

Amy Austin | December 22, 2005
No, seriously... I'm talking about Hell, Michigan and Hell, Minnesota. Only one is for real, though:

(link) (link)

(link)

Scott Hardie | December 23, 2005
You don't mean Hell, the Wal*Mart Supercenter on SR70 in Bradenton, Florida? I know that's where you go when you die, because I've seen the living dead walking the aisles.

Amy Austin | December 23, 2005
Man, that's messed up, Scott... you'll be old one day, too, you know! ;-)

Jackie Mason | December 23, 2005
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Michael Paul Cote | December 23, 2005
Amy, Scott wasn't talking about old people, just the shoppers that got lost in Wal-Mart looking for just the right gift for Uncle Cletus and forgot exactly why they were there. Don't you know that is Romero's premise behind his "Living Dead" movies! ;-ppppp

Scott Hardie | December 23, 2005
Believe me, old has nothing to do with it. That place can suck the soul out of anyone.

Amy Austin | December 23, 2005
Heheheh... you all make me laugh. I guess I just dive in, get my groceries, and then get the f*** out fast! Mike, it's funny that you mentioned those movies, because that's exactly the thought I had when I first read his post!

Jackie: I'd agree with you on those butt shorts -- thank GOD none of my schools ever made us wear crap like that... only on the track & cross country teams, and those were acceptable (notably, because they are lined). I did get a pair as a summer camp counselor, however (*not* lined)... and wore them only once, I think.

(Wal-Mart... good... Wal-Mart... goooood...) [singing "Down With the Sickness"]