Skanked Out Halloween Costumes

Jackie Mason | October 29, 2007
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Lori Lancaster | October 29, 2007
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Tony Peters | October 29, 2007
Slutty nurse, slutty pirate, slutty vampire and slutty prostitute...that's all there is....some weird side of me found the little bo peep costume interesting but definitely not on an 8 year old (maybe on a 38 year old but that's for later). I can't imagine allowing a child out in any of those but then I saw a 14year old out in Dolphin shorts and a tank top this morning waiting for the bus, which was both slutty and brave because it was 33* this morning

Greg Bair | October 30, 2007
Jeepers. Those costumes are horrible. The chamber maid in particular has no excuse for itself.

My kids are all dressing in a '50s sci-fi theme this year. My son is a robot, the oldest daughter is a space ranger, and the other two are aliens. (Here's a flickr photoset of the robot costume project. Turned out pretty well, I think.) The space ranger was really great too, but I don't have any photos up of that yet.

Jackie Mason | October 30, 2007
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Amy Austin | October 30, 2007
LOL... Jackie, you caught your implication (which was quite funny), but then you go on to say that some other unidentified? girl did turn out to be a slut? Funny. Your comment also reminded me of a story that I think I might have already told here before (not sure)... about how I learned the word "prostitute"...

I came home (from the 5th grade) one day and asked my grandmother what a prostitute was. She asked me where I heard that word, and I told her that one of my classmates had declared that day that she wanted to be one when she grew up. Meemaw told me, with obvious dismay, that she was probably not someone I should be spending time with. I wanted to know why, and I pressed for the answer. My grandmother, put on the spot in one of those awkward growing up moments, said (with obviously concerted thought and hesitation), "a prostitute is someone who sells love for money." Upon which I reflected and asked, "well, what's so bad about that?! Doesn't the world always need more love? What about the lonely people??? Sounds like an admirable job to me!" I don't remember anything else after that, but that particular conversation always gives me quite a chuckle to remember. And "benefit of the doubt" might have had me later wondering if the girl in question had been given a similarly sheltered definition of the term... but like the girl in Jackie's anecdote... not too likely. ;-)

All I can ever think about costumes, though -- sluttiness aside -- is whatever happened to originality??? But, yeah, none of those outfits are suitable for *anyone* under 12... and that's being generous!

On that note (originality/creativity) -- good for you and your kids, Greg! Seriously. I love it when the kids are really into the fantasy aspect of costuming -- not just how cute or sexy they can be -- and put together a real work of the imagination. I don't care if it's made of brown paper bags and tinfoil... I like to see this kind of effort when I open my door to trick-or-treaters.

Speaking of which... Bill Maher touched on a real pet Peeve of mine this week -- which is trick-or-treaters who don't dress up! God, that pisses me off. If I can go spend upwards of $50 for candy to hand out (and I don't skimp, either!), then the least these little brats can do is show up in some kind of an effort! Again... I don't care if they make an Indian chief headdress out of brown paper bags or an anti-alien hat of tinfoil... at least they put forth the effort! The last 5-10 years has really soured me on Halloween, which *used* to be one of my favorite times of the year!!! Especially handing out candy last year to the "too cool for costumes" crowd. I could be wrong, and it could have just been that these particular kids were too poor -- but who can't afford some damn crayons and tinfoil?!?!? They even GIVE you the frickin' paper bags for free at the damn grocery store!!! (Can you tell how much this irks me?) As if it weren't bad enough that I have to give treats to some punk-ass kids without the treat of a costume in return, I get those who want even more than a couple of pieces!!! I usually give a handful of treats (like I said, I don't skimp), but I like to save the best treats for the ones who "earn" it... and again... this totally includes the low-budget creations! But if some little everyday street-clothes-wearing brat spies the good stuff, they invariably feel no shame in asking for more than they got. And I'm the kind of person who believes that it's the parents' duty to say how rude that is... not mine -- I give up the goods. And although I think I've now learned a valuable procedural lesson from this last year, I'm thinking that my porch light will remain off altogether this year. HA! OF COURSE IT WILL... my freakin' landlady *still* hasn't fixed it since I moved in nearly three months ago!!! Which is deja vu, since the one at my previous residence also stayed broken and unrepaired by *that* landlord for the entire year I was there. Know what they did with it after I left? Took the light part of the fixture off altogether... and covered the base of it with electrical tape. Yeah. I really feel like spending moula on candy to give away when the rich and greedy mo-fos in this corrupt-ass city and state can't even take care of their renters properly. Please.

Sorry for the unexpectedly extended rant -- if it isn't clear by now, I'm pretty miserable with all aspects of my life these days.

But yeah -- slutty costumes suck.

Tony Peters | October 30, 2007
I don't do candy....that I don't came about from 3 years in Japan where the only trick or treaters were tons of Navy kids living in housing and no choice of candy. Instead we do nickel toys and pencils the likes of which you can usually find by the bagfull at dollar stores (or while we were in Japan 100yen stores) this year is Gumby gouls, skull superballs and witch pencils....should make the local parents happy at least

Allison Bair | October 31, 2007
Skull superballs and Gumby ghouls would make awesome trick-or-treat handouts. I like glow in the dark vampire teeth too. Somebody on our street sneaks freaky anti-Halloween religious tracts into our kids bags every year, though, and that really annoys me (it annoys me even more that I've never been able to catch them in the act so I can only guess who it is that's doing it).

I also hate it when uncostumed teenagers decide to bang on our door late at night and demand candy. Punks.

The other day I was reminiscing fondly about all the gory, bloody homemade costumes I wore in my youth. I loved them. If one of my kids wore one to school now, though, I bet they'd be sent to the counselor's office for psychological assessment.

Lori Lancaster | October 31, 2007
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Jackie Mason | October 31, 2007
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Amy Austin | October 31, 2007
AMEN!!!

I was on the phone with my friend last night, and she was seeing people around the neighborhood in costume and wondering why -- this was a *Tuesday* night, mind you... not like it's that much more convenient than Wednesday! I suggested a few reasons: "Maybe they're just on their way to a party?" She didn't think so. "Canvassing one neighborhood a night early, so they can do their own or another tomorrow?" Maybe... this multi-neighborhood visitation for the maximization of booty *is* commonplace, but at least I've only ever known it to happen all on the same night -- HALLOWEEN! And then, finally, "well, maybe they're just confused -- and I can see why, what with DST being all goofed with by Congress and such -- they just forgot that October has *31* days in it!" She laughed -- as I intended -- but really... is it possible that people have become this retarded???

Maybe... maybe it's just that Halloween has become so lame-o watered-down by all this crap that one night is no longer sufficient to get the freak on. "Let's start wearing our costumes *now* (Friday night) and wear them *every* night for the rest of October!" Maybe this is just the new generation of the Halloween "underprivileged" trying to milk it for all it's only worth anymore.

Jackie Mason | November 1, 2007
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Lori Lancaster | November 1, 2007
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Amy Austin | November 1, 2007
True, true... ;-)

Steve West | November 1, 2007
Pretty funny blog on why Americans shouldn't cosplay. (link)

Lori Lancaster | November 1, 2007
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Derek Kendzor | November 2, 2007
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Lori Lancaster | November 2, 2007
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Derek Kendzor | November 2, 2007
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Lori Lancaster | November 2, 2007
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Derek Kendzor | November 2, 2007
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Aaron Shurtleff | November 3, 2007
Well, now, that, I think, is a different issue. I think skanky outfits on adults are more appropriate than on children.

That said, I think (only knowing you from the picture) the slutty vampire is the look to go for. Now that would be hilarious, because, it is funny on so many different levels. People might think you're making hilarious social commentary on goth/emo kids, and then you'll look funny AND intelligent! :)

Derek Kendzor | November 4, 2007
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Jackie Mason | November 5, 2007
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Aaron Shurtleff | November 5, 2007
NOw, see, maybe it was where I grew up (rural Maine), but I always use the two terms mostly interchangably. Mostly. Goth was usually more of the vampire-lovin', lord of darkness-type, and emo was the life is pain, wah wah wah-type. I think the two groups had people who defected from one to the other a lot, too. It was a big muddled mess. Thank goodness I was a carbon-copy, A class, arrogant prick in high school... ;) Granted, I was the lowest ranking "member" of the carbon-copy, A class, arrogant pricks, but I always figured (at the time...God how things change) being the lowest of the highest class is better than being the highest of the lower tiers.

Not that am saying I would have been the alpha dog in a lower tier, but...

Amy Austin | November 5, 2007
"Was"???

Aaron Shurtleff | November 6, 2007
Oh, sure. I'm totally a bitchy-ass, no class, faux-humble prick now, Amy. ;)

Amy Austin | November 8, 2007
Since seeing the topic addressed on the Daily Show (Halloween), I feel like this discussion should be renamed "Prostitots" -- a label that, apparently, has been around longer than I've heard tell...