Stupid Names

Scott Horowitz | December 30, 2004
So, because we have to get a lot done at work. They have the whole company doing data entry right now ( even us lowly IT guys). I came across a name "Heston J. Charlton" I found it too amusing to ignore.

Jackie Mason | December 30, 2004
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Amy Austin | December 30, 2004
HAHAHAHAHA...

My best friend in Florida used to work at the financial aid office at UF -- we met when I was job-hunting 12-13 years ago, and she got me a TPS (temp personnel services) job in her office. Part of our daily amusement was pointing out funny names to one another... I wish I could remember as many as we saw, but the one that probably sticks most out in both of our heads is likely that of an African student: Babatunde Babalola. Maybe there's nothing all that odd about it -- in Africa, or otherwise -- but we just really enjoyed the heck out of saying it over and over again! ;DDD There was even a Jean-something Picard (not Luc, though -- I can't remember what now). Now, she works at the office of admissions for the medical college there -- so I am certain that she still comes across many an unusual and/or amusing name.

When I was at boot camp with about 1,600 other recruits -- all wearing their names on their chests and butts -- I found myself making mental notes to write and tell her all about the simultaneously mundane and unusual names... like House, for example. In fact, I was so in the habit of checking out people's names that I had a rather embarrassing situation in front of an RDC and some of my "shipmates"... A small group of us were cleaning in "relaxed uniform" (when shirts are permitted to be rolled up, unbuttoned, or altogether removed in situations of extreme heat or filth) -- there was a guy walking by without his shirt on, and without that I had to look harder in the only other place in order to read his name. The RDC caught sight of me "checking out Seaman So-N-So's butt" (I can't even remember what it was now!) and called me on it! My protestations of trying to decipher the guy's name were all but futile... which was very aggravating to me, because being a bit older than the average kid there, I was pretty annoyed at being lumped into the same crowd that can't control their "urges" while in training. Oh well... in that situation, there's no arguing and Definitely no winning!

But even funnier than "House" were the names I saw when I got to the fleet: Seaman Seaman, Seaman Sample, Seaman Shippy, Seaman Officer (now Petty Officer Officer)... the list goes on. With names like that, they just had to join the Navy??? ;-P

Anna Gregoline | December 30, 2004
Boise Ding.

Kris Weberg | December 31, 2004
Used to be a guy in the Springfield phone book named Clive J. Assram. Juvenile, sure, but you have to wonder why no one in that family line ever changed the surname....

Amy -- Shades of Major Major Major Major from Catch-22!

Scott Hardie | December 31, 2004
I swear it's true; when I was a telemarketer I had to call a Harry Forehand, who sadly wasn't home. A co-worker said he had once called Ophelia Peter.

Amy Austin | December 31, 2004
HAHAHAHAHA...

That reminds me of "Harry Butts" -- personally known by somebody I knew. She said they used to love to see him walk with more than one girl, just so they could say, "Here comes two girls with Harry Butts..." ;DDD ANYONE named "Harry" is just asking for trouble, in my opinion!!!

More humorous names from the Navy (although this one is fictitious, as far as I know): I'm sure everyone is already familiar with the abbreviations for officers (CAPT, GEN, MAJ, LCDR, etc...), but all Navy job titles on the enlisted side have an abbreviation as well (e.g., Photographer's Mate = PH; 2nd Class/E-5 = 2... so, PH2). If you wanted to pull a "Moe's Tavern" call onboard a ship, a la Bart Simpson, you'd call the Rear/Aft Gyro and ask for "last name Balls, first name IC3" and hope that you got a really new/dumb guy.

Erik Bates | December 31, 2004
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Mike Eberhart | January 1, 2005
Eric, Photographer's Mate is just a rating. They are still called Petty Officers, or Seaman... That's the only thing I really don't like about the Navy. They all like to use their ratings for their rank. i.e. IT2 Smith. Well, actually, IT2 is a PO2. Why not just call yourself that. At least in the Air Force, you were either an Airman, or a Sgt. Unless your an officer, then you are just the standard officer ranks. I, however, was just a mere E-3.... Airman 1st Class... Ok, I feel better now that I got my rant about Navy ranks out of the way...

Thanks.

E. M. | January 4, 2005
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Dave Stoppenhagen | January 4, 2005
I went through boot and A school with a Seaman Sample.

Names from my company -

Qing Dong (pronounced King)
Dick Shields
Ho Man

We have started a board for all the messed up names.

Nadine Russell | January 4, 2005
I had a friend in university whose name was Robert Loblaw. He'd liked to be called Bob. Bob Loblaw. He was a funny guy. There was also a girl in my town named Crystal Ball. Crystal got married just out of high school and divorced shortly after that. She kept her married name. I can't say I blame her.

Amy Austin | January 4, 2005
Reminds me of a friend I had "in university", too (;>)... he was Hispanic (and has since changed his last name to that of his step-father, who raised him), born with the surname of "Colon" (pronounced with a second long "o", as in "cologne"... not the first, as in the large intestine). What made this funny was that he was previously engaged to a girl with the last name "French" -- they didn't marry after all, but it was funny to think that her name would have been "French Colon"...

Scott Hardie | January 14, 2005
Jackie's engaged to a man with the last name of Mason.

Jackie Mason | January 18, 2005
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Lori Lancaster | January 18, 2005
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Anna Gregoline | January 18, 2005
I'm confused too.

Scott Hardie | January 19, 2005
Oy. We're all about the same age, so how come I'm the only one who has heard of him? He's past the prime of his career, but he's still very popular.

(link)

Kris Weberg | January 19, 2005
I remembered him. I even remembered that he had a really lousy sitcom in the 80s, but not the name of it.

Do I get a prize?

David Mitzman | January 19, 2005
Jackie mason. Hilarious. If you're from New York (the metro NYC area at least), and > 25, then you should know him.

Scott Horowitz | January 19, 2005
that is pretty funny. How do people not know who Jackie Mason is?

David Mitzman | January 19, 2005
We know him as Rabbi Hymen Krustofsky

Lori Lancaster | January 19, 2005
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Anna Gregoline | January 19, 2005
I have really never heard of him. Must be a regional thing?

Jackie Mason | January 19, 2005
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