Your Movie

Scott Hardie | September 12, 2004
You're a film director considering your next project. Budget and creative control are not issues; you have enough clout that the studio will support any film you want to make, and you can hire any talent to work with you. You might choose to adapt a favorite book, portray a true historical event, or make the kind of indie film where mood and style are more important than story. What film do you make? Tell us about it.

Jackie Mason | September 12, 2004
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Anna Gregoline | September 12, 2004
I'd like to plunge myself into a documentary on a subject I knew nothing about, probably. Something obscure that's only known to a few people - maybe a small, backwoods custom or something.

Otheriwise, I'd do something like Wisconsin Death Trip.

Melissa Erin | September 12, 2004
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Jackie Mason | September 13, 2004
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Erik Bates | September 14, 2004
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Jackie Mason | September 14, 2004
[hidden by request]

Angela Lathem-Ballard | September 14, 2004
I think Erik just wants to make a movie that starts with a shot of a girl in her panties . . . or Bill Murray in his panties.

I would like to make a claymation version of something . . . maybe a remake of . . . well, that's another discussion thread, I guess. Claymation is so underrated -- we need more! I've been working on writing a children's book about the philosophy of socks/pants . . . maybe that would make a good claymation feature!!!! Oh, the marketing that could abound . . . look out, 'California Adventure' -- here comes 'The World of Pants!'

Anna Gregoline | September 14, 2004
Wow, Angela! Nice to see you!

I wish you were making movies.

Kris Weberg | September 15, 2004
I'd make a movie that started as your typical action movie, but then, about 30 minutes in, the villain flat put kills the hero and his/her scheme actually starts to succeed. By halfway through, the bad guy has basically won, but now has the even tougher problem of figuring out just what the hell to do now that the world's been conquered and all goals are achieved.

By the end, the villain has all the power he/she could want, but is nearly-suicidal because there's really no more point to his/her life. Ruling the entire world is annoying, difficult, and so time-consuming that even holding on to the place requires you to forsake the supposed pleasures you'd get from it.

Or maybe I'd try to film Infinite Jest, but only for DVD, complete with all footnotes included as optional mini-fiilms or cutaways controlled just like the trivia featurettes in your typical "enhanced viewing mode" release. Of course, it's probably be 15 hours long, but art for art's sake, right?

Anthony Lewis | September 15, 2004
I'd make a Blaxploitation movie with me in the starring role. I'd wear outrageous outfits, drive a Coupe DeVille, get back at The Man, have sex with a lot of women, and say "jive turkey" and "sucka" a lot.

I need more time to flesh it out though. Gimme a few days....jive turkey!