Christmas Post #16: A Hillbilly Christmas
by Steve West on December 2, 2007

My father was born and raised in North Carolina. Throughout my childhood we would make the summer trek to my Granny and Grandpaw's house in the middle of the state. Many a summer night passed listening to roosters (they crow all friggin' night), the occasional gator grunt, and my hillbilly cousins fart and scratch while playing cards. Their discussions often centered around things just like this: The need for a better spit can; guns for their kids; the question as to with whom they would rather sleep, their wives or their guns; and electricity - highly overrated. I love my cousins still. Merry Christmas guys! And Tinker (a real cousin), I found the best game for you. Check your mailbox.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

If I Were To Make A Children's Show...
...it would be similar to this promo for The Crime Channel featuring Gali the Alligator. The lyrics are a little hard to understand so I've attempted to transcribe them here. Go »
What'd I Step In?
Things stuck to the bottom of my internet shoe. Things not to do while wearing briefs made of beef jerky. (Besides wearing briefs made of beef jerky) Venezuelans believe children should not watch The Simpsons, offer more wholesome fare instead. Go »
The Mickster = Imelda
Seriously, who needs 80 lbs. of shoes period, let alone for an 8 day trip. I don't change my shoes that often in a five year period. Go »
Unlike Burger King, Special Orders Upset Us
Recent conversation with Brenda. Brenda: Feel like Subway for lunch? me: Only if I get a foot-long sandwich that's actually 12 inches long. Go »
Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes...
My wife has been bugging me lately about the amount of time I spend on the computer. She claims she's merely trying to restore my perspective. Fine. Go »