Recent conversation with Brenda:

me: I'm thinking of buying that 5-hour energy stuff.

Brenda: Think it'll be worth it?

me: Depends on what it costs – that whole dollars to extra push-ups ratio.

Brenda: Well, considering you do no push-ups now it sounds like a sure winner even if it only gets you to try one.

me: I'd like to try and create my own formula. It's like legal cocaine. I'd probably pour it on the kitchen table and snort it.

Brenda: I am not cleaning that up.

me: I'll have enough energy to clean it up, mop the floor, install a new garbage disposal and I'd still have 4:45 left,

Brenda: Seems like there's a lot of competition for sales.

me: They won't stand a chance if I sell mine and call it boob flavored.

Brenda: Boob flavored. As in boobs.

me: It'll fly off the shelves


One Reply to I Am A Marketing Genius

Aaron Shurtleff | March 4, 2012
Put me down for 2 cases, please!


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Japanese Terebi Game Shows

I'm convinced that Japanese game show producers are violently insane. Here's a sampling of what I mean. Go »

It's 419, Do You Know Where Your Dealer Is?

It's the eve of 420 and you don't have to be high to enjoy the following links, but it couldn't hurt. When this clock goes into production, it will be featured in my den. Smart dog or dumb dog? Go »

Where's The Winch?

We took the girls sailing today. Unlike last year, Olivia did not throw a winch handle overboard because of our diligence in preventing it. The sailing is still free because of the heart of the owner who offers this once a month during the summer. Go »

Happy Halloween

Back when I was about ten, I went trick or treating as a witch doctor. I got to a house that I didn't know who lived there and was greeted by a kindly looking old lady. When I routinely and without much enthusiaism stated, "Trick or treat," she responded by handing me a piece of religious literature. Go »

Taking Bets for 2021

Volcano? Locusts? Asteroid? Go »

Christmas Post #22: Full Metal Rudolph

One of the first impressions I learned as a kid was the Charlie-in-the-box from the Island of Misfit Toys. "Nobody wants a Charlie-in-the-box." Yeah, that really cracked up all the girls in third grade. Go »