Recent conversation with Brenda:

me: I'm thinking of buying that 5-hour energy stuff.

Brenda: Think it'll be worth it?

me: Depends on what it costs – that whole dollars to extra push-ups ratio.

Brenda: Well, considering you do no push-ups now it sounds like a sure winner even if it only gets you to try one.

me: I'd like to try and create my own formula. It's like legal cocaine. I'd probably pour it on the kitchen table and snort it.

Brenda: I am not cleaning that up.

me: I'll have enough energy to clean it up, mop the floor, install a new garbage disposal and I'd still have 4:45 left,

Brenda: Seems like there's a lot of competition for sales.

me: They won't stand a chance if I sell mine and call it boob flavored.

Brenda: Boob flavored. As in boobs.

me: It'll fly off the shelves


One Reply to I Am A Marketing Genius

Aaron Shurtleff | March 4, 2012
Put me down for 2 cases, please!


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

My Second Dad

Earlier this week, I lost my father-in-law to lung cancer. He was a beautiful man who welcomed me into his family after marrying his oldest daughter. Family isn’t always blood. Go »

Christmas Post #2: I Can See Clearly Now

Flashlights. Useful when the power goes out to help me find where I put the friggin' candles after the last time I lost friggin' power. They won't save the contents of my refrigerator but I can watch as the milk slowly curdles because I don't have TV or a computer. Go »

Halloween Is For The Dogs

Last year for Halloween, I took all of Lauren's stuffed dogs and sewed their mouths to parts of my shirt and pants (with fake bleeding cuts on my arms and face) and went as an attack dog trainer. This year, I need to adopt or at least rent a dog so I can dress it like this for Halloween. Holy Kibbles & Bits Or this... Go »

Which Underwear?

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: A friend of mine lost his wife a few years ago. He's not that old and dreaded entering the dating scene again but he was growing a little lonely. Brenda: Good for him - fingers crossed. Go »

Like Mother Teresa, Only Better

If you recognize the title of this post, then you are already familiar with Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess. I had the opportunity to meet her, briefly, at the Barnes & Noble book signing in Annapolis this weekend. She was larger than life and incredibly funny as she adlibbed before reading a selection from her book, Let's Pretend This Never Happened. Go »

The Cause And The Cure For The Munchies

So, you're an executive pothead sitting around the confernce room table with all the stoner VP's. The discussion centers on marketing a product that, while overtly illegal, has such an upside in monopolizing the market and growth potential. And whose turn is it to change the bong water, anyway? Go »