Recent conversation with Brenda:

me: I'm thinking of buying that 5-hour energy stuff.

Brenda: Think it'll be worth it?

me: Depends on what it costs – that whole dollars to extra push-ups ratio.

Brenda: Well, considering you do no push-ups now it sounds like a sure winner even if it only gets you to try one.

me: I'd like to try and create my own formula. It's like legal cocaine. I'd probably pour it on the kitchen table and snort it.

Brenda: I am not cleaning that up.

me: I'll have enough energy to clean it up, mop the floor, install a new garbage disposal and I'd still have 4:45 left,

Brenda: Seems like there's a lot of competition for sales.

me: They won't stand a chance if I sell mine and call it boob flavored.

Brenda: Boob flavored. As in boobs.

me: It'll fly off the shelves


One Reply to I Am A Marketing Genius

Aaron Shurtleff | March 4, 2012
Put me down for 2 cases, please!


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

As The Firm Sang - I'm Radioactive

Brenda is under quarantine now because of an ablation procedure that makes her radioactive. Some stray thyroid tissue is apparently on her oncologist's hit list and he won't be denied. I'm sleeping on the couch for the next three nights and I'm doing the Daddy thing solo for the next three days. Go »

Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know, but you know deserves it. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. Go »

Redneck ROFL

I've been to this site a few dozen times without considering linking to it. But a picture they posted really cracked me up because it, once again, reminded me of my Carolina cousins, rednecks all. Anyway the picture I'm referring to is called redneck Barbies and they remind me of a favorite pair of cousins of mine, Rodney and Looler. Go »

Punched In The Nose With A Stinky Fist

The complete culinary compilation of Steve, Don't Eat It! at Sneeze.com. My reading was interrupted by a need for defibrillation - laughed so hard my heart stopped. Go »

Dumb Criminals And Other Court Type Stuff Part 3

Another small collection of weird legal matters. Yeah research, that's the ticket; Too manly for the ladies' room; Chi-tonw blues; Cat's got yer what?; and finally, I have no idea what it's like to be busted for DUI, taken for mugshots wearing a shirt displaying my love for midget sex, and then being forever haunted by that image surfacing on the internet, but I know who to ask. Go »

Halloween Is For The Dogs

Last year for Halloween, I took all of Lauren's stuffed dogs and sewed their mouths to parts of my shirt and pants (with fake bleeding cuts on my arms and face) and went as an attack dog trainer. This year, I need to adopt or at least rent a dog so I can dress it like this for Halloween. Holy Kibbles & Bits Or this... Go »