Recent conversation with Brenda:

me: I'm thinking of buying that 5-hour energy stuff.

Brenda: Think it'll be worth it?

me: Depends on what it costs – that whole dollars to extra push-ups ratio.

Brenda: Well, considering you do no push-ups now it sounds like a sure winner even if it only gets you to try one.

me: I'd like to try and create my own formula. It's like legal cocaine. I'd probably pour it on the kitchen table and snort it.

Brenda: I am not cleaning that up.

me: I'll have enough energy to clean it up, mop the floor, install a new garbage disposal and I'd still have 4:45 left,

Brenda: Seems like there's a lot of competition for sales.

me: They won't stand a chance if I sell mine and call it boob flavored.

Brenda: Boob flavored. As in boobs.

me: It'll fly off the shelves


One Reply to I Am A Marketing Genius

Aaron Shurtleff | March 4, 2012
Put me down for 2 cases, please!


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Is This A Country Song Or What?

Playing a country song backwards, as the old joke goes, and your wife comes back, your dog is alive again, and your trucks rolls over onto its wheels. The Mickster has got it bad in Oscar week as his beloved chihuahua died in his arms. Not to make fun of what must have been a horrible event, but did he really need to display his mourning by attending a New York fashion show the very next day? Go »

That Guy With The Glasses

Small representative sample of the films presented "in 5 seconds". Several are inspired by the original joke and many last more than 5 seconds, but all are abridged to hilarious result. These are my favorites: Rocky I, II, III, IV, V, & VI; Scarface; Snakes On A Plane; Titanic; and Gladiator. Go »

That's Good Eatin'

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: (Looking through mailer) Would you like to go to Floyd's Barbecue? me: Why would I want that? Brenda: We could get $5.00 Go »

Dear Miriam...

Oh, thank you Miriam, that's great advice. BTW this letter is indeed a spoof of the "Dear Miriam" column in The Daily Mirror that appeared in the satirical publication Viz. Pretty damn funny, though. Go »

Ice Cream That Would Make Homer Simpson Retch

In all honesty, I felt physically ill after about 1/3 of the way through this list. I could actually taste some of this nauseating stuff and it made my stomach churn. I don't even want to know what raw horseflesh flavor is like. Go »

Book Autopsies

An artist named Brian Dettmer has a unique talent, at least I've never seen anything like it. Book autopsies in which he pares books to various levels and displays portions of their contents, words and illustrations, for an interesting perspective. Very clever. Go »