One of the first impressions I learned as a kid was the Charlie-in-the-box from the Island of Misfit Toys. "Nobody wants a Charlie-in-the-box." Yeah, that really cracked up all the girls in third grade. Rankin/Bass and Rudolph appear to have graduated to R-rated dialogue. The images may be of Hermey and the Chief Elf but the voices are definitely R. Lee Ermey and Matthew Modine. Rudolph done Full Metal Jacket style. I'm really not sure if the third grade girls of today would be more or less impressed with that impression.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Half-time

At about the halfway mark between Halloween and Christmas, I ran across this gift idea suitable for both holidays. Zombie lawn sculpture. Dave Barry included this in his annual gift guide and I found the original source for it. Go »

The Five Stages Of Patriots Grief

The Giants are the greatest 10-6 team of all time! Go »

Ice Cream That Would Make Homer Simpson Retch

In all honesty, I felt physically ill after about 1/3 of the way through this list. I could actually taste some of this nauseating stuff and it made my stomach churn. I don't even want to know what raw horseflesh flavor is like. Go »

I Must Really Be Sick

Recent conversation with Brenda while recuperating in hospital: Me: Hey, wanna hear a joke I made up? I'm gonna tell my RN the next visit she makes. Brenda: Of course. Go »

Insanity is Relative

Recent conversation with Brenda. Me: You know those signs that say 'Keep Off the Grass'? Brenda: Of course. Go »

Real Life Comedy/Tragedy

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: Why did you marry me? Brenda: Because you're funny, Me: I thought it was because I was good in bed. Brenda: You see? Go »