I'm Like Evander Holyfield Except With Two Entire Ears
by Steve West on March 13, 2013
Recent conversation with Brenda.
Brenda: My aunt just had a birthday. She's 94.
me: What's her name, Aunt Tique?
Brenda: No, Aunt Sybil. And don't let her hear you call her that. She's pretty feisty.
me: I think I could take her. Maybe when she's napping.
Brenda: She claims that she boxed when she was younger. Beat a few boys up 'cause they were afraid to hit a girl.
me: I'd box her. I'm not afraid to hit an old lady. My prediction: Early Knockout.
Brenda: You or her?
me: Her. I'll hit her in the locker room with a pipe.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Mariah and the Subtle Burn
Recent conversation with Brenda (after hearing All I Want for Christmas... again): Me: Mariah Carey beginning with "I don't want a lot for Christmas..." and then revealing she wants "you" is kind of a burn, Brenda: She could mean that she doesn't want a lot of other gifts and only wants her man friend. Go »Worth Your Weight in Gold
Are you worth your weight in gold? Gold bullion is traded by the Troy ounce which is 1/12th of a Troy pound that is little used today. A Troy oz is 480 grains or 31.103 Go »Got Dem Sunday Shopping UOAS Blues
Weekly shopping or as it has become, my weekly stroll through Satan's marketplace. I consciously avoided UOAS's line and since there were only two lines, chose the one next door. Let's call this one Slightly Less Ugly On A Stick. Go »Dumb Criminals And Other Court Type Stuff Part 2
Another collection of dumb criminals/lawsuits. Over-salted burger; anger management irony; the writing is on the wall dope; porn = pain; and finally, from the "What Did They Expect?" department, Unwanted donation . Go »Christmas Post #11: Niche Market Dolls
In Waiting For Guffman, Christopher Guest play acts with his My Dinner With Andre action figures. That was the funniest moment of the film for me. I could see something similar happening with almost any of the dolls in this collection. Go »
