Recent conversation with Brenda.

Brenda: My aunt just had a birthday. She's 94.

me: What's her name, Aunt Tique?

Brenda: No, Aunt Sybil. And don't let her hear you call her that. She's pretty feisty.

me: I think I could take her. Maybe when she's napping.

Brenda: She claims that she boxed when she was younger. Beat a few boys up 'cause they were afraid to hit a girl.

me: I'd box her. I'm not afraid to hit an old lady. My prediction: Early Knockout.

Brenda: You or her?

me: Her. I'll hit her in the locker room with a pipe.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Winch Ahoy

The fourth Sunday of each month, a local boating organization offers free sailing to children with disabilities. They're called Chesapeake Region Accessible Boating (CRAB). We've been trying for months to go but stuff happened each weekend. Go »

Sleep, Really?

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: (after winning the wishbone break) Dead chicken says I get my wish. Brenda: What did you wish for? Me: What's your greatest fantasy? Go »

Vanity Plates

Although a few are a little crude, many of these vanity plates are clever and funny. I've never had a desire to acquire one myself but I do admire a good one when I see it on the road. My personal favorite is "PLAN AHE". Go »

Woman Attacks Karaoke Singer

A woman attacked a karaoke singer while he was singing Coldplay. A similar thing happened to me once. I was pretty drunk and I started a fight with some guy singing Dave Matthews. Go »

Ahnuld's Dog, Heinrich

"Heel, Heinrich!", commands the Governator. "Kiss my grossly over-developed ass," snarls Heinrich in return. Go »

One and One-half Is Not the Same As Two

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: There are not two scoops of raisins in my Raisin Bran. Brenda: Excuse me? me: There appears to be less than two scoops of raisins in my cereal box. Go »