I'm Like Evander Holyfield Except With Two Entire Ears
by Steve West on March 13, 2013
Recent conversation with Brenda.
Brenda: My aunt just had a birthday. She's 94.
me: What's her name, Aunt Tique?
Brenda: No, Aunt Sybil. And don't let her hear you call her that. She's pretty feisty.
me: I think I could take her. Maybe when she's napping.
Brenda: She claims that she boxed when she was younger. Beat a few boys up 'cause they were afraid to hit a girl.
me: I'd box her. I'm not afraid to hit an old lady. My prediction: Early Knockout.
Brenda: You or her?
me: Her. I'll hit her in the locker room with a pipe.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Homer Sings
Do-Re-Mi as sung by Homer Simpson DOh - The stuff that buys me beer. RAY - The guy that sells me beer. ME - The guy who drinks the beer. Go »Double Talk with a Forked Tongue
I've decided that from now on, I'm going to answer every question like a presidential candidate. Friend (voter): "Steve, what are you gonna do this weekend?" Me (blahblahblah): "That's a great question and an important one. Go »Strike Two
Brenda and I attended a school meeting today to discuss the battery of assessments needed to properly develop an education plan for Olivia. After hearing the assessments from the primary teacher, occupational therapist, speech therapist and physical therapist, we got to the part that was a stunner to say the least - the school psychologist. After giving her report which mimicked the other reports to a large degree, she informed us that she felt it was time to officially put it in the record that Olivia was intellectually disabled. Go »Sleep, Really?
Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: (after winning the wishbone break) Dead chicken says I get my wish. Brenda: What did you wish for? Me: What's your greatest fantasy? Go »Guns are Not Really a Laughing Matter
Recent conversation with Brenda. Brenda: What would be the hardest thing for you to give up for Lent? Me: Shooting guns. Go »
