Darth Vader Is Alive And Well And Living In My Toaster
by Steve West on November 12, 2008
So we got this gift from a mother-in law who shall remain nameless; a "super-mega-nuclear look at me long enough and your face will melt like that guy in Raiders toaster. There was nothing wrong with our existing toaster but when she saw it on QVC, my nameless mother-in-law had one of those have to have it moments. I've nicknamed the toaster Darth Vader because regardless of the setting, it turns the bread to the dark side every time. Apparently, Sith Lords consider asphalt posing as an english muffin the cornerstone of a nutritious breakfast. I swear, even when I put bread in for just a few seconds, it's like a David Blaine magic trick. In one color and bam! out another just like that! Toaster waffles become hard as waffle irons. Pop Tarts liquify. Brenda says it would insult her nameless mother if we were to replace it and says it's obviously operator error. Operator error my ass. That thing is alive and craves human flesh. I can tell.
Four Replies to Darth Vader Is Alive And Well And Living In My Toaster
Tony Peters | November 12, 2008
We had a we had a nucular fooderator on the boat that was the death of popcorn....setting didn't matter on that it was always like pop pop pop, burnt waste....
on a side note it cooked all other forms of food just fine
Lori Lancaster | November 12, 2008
[hidden by author request]
Peter Wilhelm | December 13, 2008
that is why I still want a kitchen big enough that i can get the toaster over large enough to cook a 12" pizza. the door is huge. you can see every inch of the toast and yank it as soon as it is just... so... right.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
A Guy Walks Into A Bar...
That is the opening line to a joke with a genre all its own. Here are a dozen I found at various sites around the web. 1. Go »Best Of Photojournalism
Perspective is everything. I look at some photographs that have been awarded a Pulitzer and understand immediately why. Others I look at and mentally shrug my shoulders. Go »Such As It Is...
Best stuff I found this midweek. Funny homeless signs here and here. Music Roamer is an imaginative site that creates links to artists, similar artists, albums and other stuff. Go »Love Letter and Goodbye
I had a very strange thing happen to me this morning. Overnight, I had a dream that featured my ex-wife, Betsy. I told Brenda about it and wondered what the image of Betsy represented in my subconscious that made me wake with such a clear image of her. Go »Not Halloween But Pretty Scary
Imagine a band composed entirely of ukeleles and a guitar or two. Scared yet? Now imagine that band performing rock songs. Go »
Amy Austin | November 12, 2008
LOL... I've only used it a couple of times (I don't cook *or* toast much), but I've been pretty happy with my radio toaster. ;-)