Darth Vader Is Alive And Well And Living In My Toaster
by Steve West on November 12, 2008
So we got this gift from a mother-in law who shall remain nameless; a "super-mega-nuclear look at me long enough and your face will melt like that guy in Raiders toaster. There was nothing wrong with our existing toaster but when she saw it on QVC, my nameless mother-in-law had one of those have to have it moments. I've nicknamed the toaster Darth Vader because regardless of the setting, it turns the bread to the dark side every time. Apparently, Sith Lords consider asphalt posing as an english muffin the cornerstone of a nutritious breakfast. I swear, even when I put bread in for just a few seconds, it's like a David Blaine magic trick. In one color and bam! out another just like that! Toaster waffles become hard as waffle irons. Pop Tarts liquify. Brenda says it would insult her nameless mother if we were to replace it and says it's obviously operator error. Operator error my ass. That thing is alive and craves human flesh. I can tell.
Four Replies to Darth Vader Is Alive And Well And Living In My Toaster
Tony Peters | November 12, 2008
We had a we had a nucular fooderator on the boat that was the death of popcorn....setting didn't matter on that it was always like pop pop pop, burnt waste....
on a side note it cooked all other forms of food just fine
Lori Lancaster | November 12, 2008
[hidden by author request]
Peter Wilhelm | December 13, 2008
that is why I still want a kitchen big enough that i can get the toaster over large enough to cook a 12" pizza. the door is huge. you can see every inch of the toast and yank it as soon as it is just... so... right.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
The Green Thing
While checking out at the grocery, I overheard the young cashier suggest to an older woman in front of me, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment. The woman apologized and explained, “We didn’t have this green thing back in my early days.” The clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Go »Information, Please...
Shortly after I obtained my driver's license, I got brave enough to travel a longer distance than the liquor store. I headed to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania to visit the historic battlefield. I had always been a Civil War nut (short of reenactments) and Antietam I had seen recently (someone else drove). Go »It's My Honor to Be Her Father
I just returned from Lauren"s surprise wedding shower. She was completely awed. She came on the pretense of picking up a couch for her apartment in North Dakota. Go »Sometimes Romance is Spontaneous
My parents (both passed) dearly loved each other. But with jobs, children, and other business, they found little time to spend on just the two of them. One evening when I was visiting, my Dad came up behind my Mom in the kitchen where she was doing dishes. Go »Japanese Terebi Game Shows 3
Operation: Make Amy Laugh. Another (and probably last) collection of wacky game show clips from television in Japan. Clockwork Creampuff; Painful Eliminations; Tricycling Idiots; and Treadmill Hurdles. Go »
Amy Austin | November 12, 2008
LOL... I've only used it a couple of times (I don't cook *or* toast much), but I've been pretty happy with my radio toaster. ;-)