Darth Vader Is Alive And Well And Living In My Toaster
by Steve West on November 12, 2008
So we got this gift from a mother-in law who shall remain nameless; a "super-mega-nuclear look at me long enough and your face will melt like that guy in Raiders toaster. There was nothing wrong with our existing toaster but when she saw it on QVC, my nameless mother-in-law had one of those have to have it moments. I've nicknamed the toaster Darth Vader because regardless of the setting, it turns the bread to the dark side every time. Apparently, Sith Lords consider asphalt posing as an english muffin the cornerstone of a nutritious breakfast. I swear, even when I put bread in for just a few seconds, it's like a David Blaine magic trick. In one color and bam! out another just like that! Toaster waffles become hard as waffle irons. Pop Tarts liquify. Brenda says it would insult her nameless mother if we were to replace it and says it's obviously operator error. Operator error my ass. That thing is alive and craves human flesh. I can tell.
Four Replies to Darth Vader Is Alive And Well And Living In My Toaster
Tony Peters | November 12, 2008
We had a we had a nucular fooderator on the boat that was the death of popcorn....setting didn't matter on that it was always like pop pop pop, burnt waste....
on a side note it cooked all other forms of food just fine
Lori Lancaster | November 12, 2008
[hidden by author request]
Peter Wilhelm | December 13, 2008
that is why I still want a kitchen big enough that i can get the toaster over large enough to cook a 12" pizza. the door is huge. you can see every inch of the toast and yank it as soon as it is just... so... right.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
I'm Down To My Socks... It's Posting Time.
Flight of the Conchords rule! 2 Quarts of Tanning Lotion, Stat! Lots of stuff spilled in the road by trucks. Go »Early Valentine Gift
Brenda woke up Saturday morning and said, "I just dreamed that you gave me a beautiful necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?" I told her, "You'll know tonight." Go »See You At The Pole
At the end of my college career, I walked on the campus of the University of Maryland for the thousandth time. Near the chapel, in front of an administrative building, stood flagpoles bearing the flag of the State of Maryland flying slightly lower than the flag of the United States. Annually, in September, students are encouraged to gather at the flagpole of their school and pray, an event called "See You At The Pole". Go »7-Eleven's Legacy
Aside from selling lottery tickets, 7-Eleven stores are recognizable by two products; Slurpees and Big Gulps. All, I mean all, of their food products should have E. Coli warnings on them and an ingredients list that says "some kind of meat, we think". Go »Taking Bets for 2021
Volcano? Locusts? Asteroid? Go »
Amy Austin | November 12, 2008
LOL... I've only used it a couple of times (I don't cook *or* toast much), but I've been pretty happy with my radio toaster. ;-)