I'd like to get a part-time job now that I'm retired but can't seem to find any long-lasting energy (Damn MS!). Brenda suggested being a Wal-Mart greeter.
"That doesn't take a lot of energy," she remarked.
I responded, "Oh, really? You have no idea."
I live in a fairly urban area but we have a few trailer parks and crackervilles nearby. Given my low tolerance of rudeness, I shared with Brenda how I imagined what would happen after only a few hours on the job.
A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman would walk into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
I'd say pleasantly, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
The ugly woman would stop yelling long enough to say, "Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or stupid?"
I'd reply, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am. I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart."
My supervisor would, no doubt, say I probably wasn't cut out for this job.


One Reply to Have a Nice Day!

Scott Hardie | December 9, 2021
You'd be too distracted on the job by keeping a mental list of every weirdo you encountered so that you could blog about them later. :-)


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Love is a Hurtin' Thing

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: I need a reservation for Valentine's Day. Brenda: I'll see if I can find a restaurant that takes reservations for one. Me: No, I need a reservation for two. Go »

Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

Because it's Iran Defense Week, their military was on parade to show their strength. Ahmadinejad claimed there were no gay men in the country. Perhaps, but a lot of them resemble Lady Gaga (Scoopy joke). Go »

Action Hero?

I remember back in the early '70's, my brother and I got new G.I. Joes for Christmas. They were pretty cool with the kung fu grip and "real-life hair and beard". Go »

Knock Knock Knockin' On Morpheus' Door

Nestled in the arms of Hypnos, my daughter woke me with the sounds of retching. She is struggling with a very phlegmy cough that makes sleeping difficult for her and impossible for me. What with all the changing of bedding in the middle of the night, clothing, dosing with medicine, and comforting - I lost a significant amount of sleep. Go »

Love Letter and Goodbye

I had a very strange thing happen to me this morning. Overnight, I had a dream that featured my ex-wife, Betsy. I told Brenda about it and wondered what the image of Betsy represented in my subconscious that made me wake with such a clear image of her. Go »

Halloween Is For The Dogs

Last year for Halloween, I took all of Lauren's stuffed dogs and sewed their mouths to parts of my shirt and pants (with fake bleeding cuts on my arms and face) and went as an attack dog trainer. This year, I need to adopt or at least rent a dog so I can dress it like this for Halloween. Holy Kibbles & Bits Or this... Go »