Have a Nice Day!
by Steve West on December 9, 2021
I'd like to get a part-time job now that I'm retired but can't seem to find any long-lasting energy (Damn MS!). Brenda suggested being a Wal-Mart greeter.
"That doesn't take a lot of energy," she remarked.
I responded, "Oh, really? You have no idea."
I live in a fairly urban area but we have a few trailer parks and crackervilles nearby. Given my low tolerance of rudeness, I shared with Brenda how I imagined what would happen after only a few hours on the job.
A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman would walk into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
I'd say pleasantly, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
The ugly woman would stop yelling long enough to say, "Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or stupid?"
I'd reply, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am. I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart."
My supervisor would, no doubt, say I probably wasn't cut out for this job.
One Reply to Have a Nice Day!
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Post-Delaware Staycation
The last leg of our vacation was a trip to Dutch Wonderland in Lancaster, PA. This is a pretty terrific amusement park for kids, I mean little kids. Most of the rides are designed for children between the ages 6 & 10. Go »The Texas Chili Cook-Off
Recently, at a Bowie Baysox baseball game, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Texas chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last minute, and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans, probably) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3. Go »Death, Taxes, and You're Wrong
Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: Does the sunset look strange to you? It looks like the sun is in front of the poles we're passing. What would cause that? Go »Halloween Is For The Cats
Lest our feline readers feel left out, follow the links to some pretty cool costumed cats. They really look a lot more regal than their canine counterparts. Satan's kitty Earl, the cross-eyed cowboy kitty I am Me-owl from Krypton There isn't any garlic in that catnip, is there? Go »Post-vacation Blues
Without going into great detail, my co-workers are muddle-brained knuckleheads that make the Keystone Kops look like a Mensa meeting. Federal sanctions are not that far-fetched. Changes will be made soon. Go »
Scott Hardie | December 9, 2021
You'd be too distracted on the job by keeping a mental list of every weirdo you encountered so that you could blog about them later. :-)