Back when I was about ten, I went trick or treating as a witch doctor. I got to a house that I didn't know who lived there and was greeted by a kindly looking old lady. When I routinely and without much enthusiaism stated, "Trick or treat," she responded by handing me a piece of religious literature. Now I was a recovering Catholic at the time and had had just about enough of Jesus' minions at private school that I was going to take for that day. I thought it was rather cruel to give me an inedible scrap of paper informing me that Jesus saves. I read it and responded that the only thing Jesus apparently saved was the $3.00 at the grocery store where He didn't buy any candy. I've changed a bit since then, matured maybe a little. I'm going to go out with the girls tomorrow night and try not to come home with a bagful of restraining orders.

Seven Replies to Happy Halloween

Amy Austin | October 31, 2009
Lol... I love to hear the stories behind the legend... ;-D Did you really say that to the Church Lady???

Lori Lancaster | October 31, 2009
[hidden by author request]

Steve West | October 31, 2009
Sadly, I am ashamed of myself. Again.

Amy Austin | October 31, 2009
Aw... don't feel bad! Obviously, the lady was trying to scare you with tricks instead of treats -- you had every right to be upset. ;-D Just wait until Jesus gets a hold of you, though...

Steve West | November 4, 2009
The Obamas got into the Halloween spirit. They handed out dried fruit to 2,000 trick or treaters. And just like that, they created 2,000 more Republicans. - Jimmy Fallon

Scott Hardie | November 25, 2009
Dressing at the witch doctor may have pushed the lady's buttons, but I would have liked to see her face if you had shown up the following year dressed as Jesus.

What did the girls wear this year?

Steve West | November 25, 2009
I wasn't yet that irreverent. Today, I would go dressed as Jesus and sing "Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me". Lauren was Spiderwoman and Olivia was a fairy princess.

Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

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In Slapshot, Paul Newman encourages the minor league hockey team he captains to play like goons. The team begins to have some success and the driver of the team bus joins in the spirit of gooniness. Paul Newman approaches him while he is proceeding to smack the exterior of the bus with a sledge hammer and inquires as to what he is doing. Go »

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