Happy Halloween
by Steve West on October 31, 2009

Back when I was about ten, I went trick or treating as a witch doctor. I got to a house that I didn't know who lived there and was greeted by a kindly looking old lady. When I routinely and without much enthusiaism stated, "Trick or treat," she responded by handing me a piece of religious literature. Now I was a recovering Catholic at the time and had had just about enough of Jesus' minions at private school that I was going to take for that day. I thought it was rather cruel to give me an inedible scrap of paper informing me that Jesus saves. I read it and responded that the only thing Jesus apparently saved was the $3.00 at the grocery store where He didn't buy any candy. I've changed a bit since then, matured maybe a little. I'm going to go out with the girls tomorrow night and try not to come home with a bagful of restraining orders.
Seven Replies to Happy Halloween
Lori Lancaster | October 31, 2009
[hidden by author request]
Steve West | October 31, 2009
Sadly, I am ashamed of myself. Again.
Amy Austin | October 31, 2009
Aw... don't feel bad! Obviously, the lady was trying to scare you with tricks instead of treats -- you had every right to be upset. ;-D Just wait until Jesus gets a hold of you, though...
Steve West | November 4, 2009
The Obamas got into the Halloween spirit. They handed out dried fruit to 2,000 trick or treaters. And just like that, they created 2,000 more Republicans. - Jimmy Fallon
Scott Hardie | November 25, 2009
Dressing at the witch doctor may have pushed the lady's buttons, but I would have liked to see her face if you had shown up the following year dressed as Jesus.
What did the girls wear this year?
Steve West | November 25, 2009
I wasn't yet that irreverent. Today, I would go dressed as Jesus and sing "Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me". Lauren was Spiderwoman and Olivia was a fairy princess.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Lucky Number 5
Brenda looked over my shoulder once to see what I was reading that made me chuckle. I told her it was an off-color joke involving the number 68. As it happened, she noticed that this joke appeared on page 68 of the book I was reading. Go »
Guns are Not Really a Laughing Matter
Recent conversation with Brenda. Brenda: What would be the hardest thing for you to give up for Lent? Me: Shooting guns. Go »
Worst. Playground Toys. Ever.
"Mommy! Mommy! Can I crawl up the elephant's butt? Go »
My Favorite Memory
Yesterday, we held the memorial service for my father-in-law. There were approximately 100 people attending and afterward about 1/3 gathered at his home for a small meal and sharing remembrances. I chose to share my memory of the time, twenty years ago, when I asked him for his blessing for my planned proposal to Brenda, his eldest daughter. Go »
Sometimes Comedy = Pain
Once upon a time, the entire clip of this sketch was available on-line. It's been removed from YouTube but I found it here in a shortened version. It's too bad because the full explanation of what they're doing and why they're doing it makes it that much more enjoyable. Go »
Amy Austin | October 31, 2009
Lol... I love to hear the stories behind the legend... ;-D Did you really say that to the Church Lady???