I Died a Spy
by Steve West on March 19, 2023
Recent conversation with Brenda:
Me: When I die, I want people to believe I led a double life.
Brenda: How and more importantly, why?
Me: Try to respect my dying wish. Have 3 blacked out Land Rovers follow the funeral cortege and hire actors wearing trench coats to observe from a short distance at the burial.
Brenda: Stop being stupid.
Me: If I was Jason Bourne, I'm sure I'd have a clever comeback. But as it is, I got nothin'.
One Reply to I Died a Spy
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
I'm a Doctor, Not a Kitchen Appliance!
My toaster has a timer on it that let's you know when it's finished. It seems a little silly to add a timer beeping that's a redundant addition to the toast loudly popping up from the machine that means the same thing. So now, because the timer emits a sound eerily similar to an EKG indicating flatline, every time it goes off I'll say to Brenda, "He's bread, Jim." Go »Darth Vader Is Alive And Well And Living In My Toaster
So we got this gift from a mother-in law who shall remain nameless; a "super-mega-nuclear look at me long enough and your face will melt like that guy in Raiders toaster. There was nothing wrong with our existing toaster but when she saw it on QVC, my nameless mother-in-law had one of those have to have it moments. I've nicknamed the toaster Darth Vader because regardless of the setting, it turns the bread to the dark side every time. Go »Christmas Post #5: For Those Just A Little Too Happy
I know a lot of happy people, I mean people that see humor in the Holocaust. I, myself, am generally a happy guy but not to that extent. A few of those people are on my Christmas list and will be receiving this stocking stuffer from me. Go »Landscaping
It's too late now but I should have taken and posted a picture of my quaint (translation: small) front yard. Brenda and I (translation: Brenda) decided that in order to sell our house at a more attractive price, it should look more attractive to potential buyers. Makes sense, I guess. Go »Where's The Winch?
We took the girls sailing today. Unlike last year, Olivia did not throw a winch handle overboard because of our diligence in preventing it. The sailing is still free because of the heart of the owner who offers this once a month during the summer. Go »
Scott Hardie | March 20, 2023
It's not paranoia if they're really.... hired by you for a prank. :-)