I Died a Spy
by Steve West on March 19, 2023

Recent conversation with Brenda:
Me: When I die, I want people to believe I led a double life.
Brenda: How and more importantly, why?
Me: Try to respect my dying wish. Have 3 blacked out Land Rovers follow the funeral cortege and hire actors wearing trench coats to observe from a short distance at the burial.
Brenda: Stop being stupid.
Me: If I was Jason Bourne, I'm sure I'd have a clever comeback. But as it is, I got nothin'.
One Reply to I Died a Spy
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Mean Husband... or Funny Guy?
Since Brenda is home and doing well, I will share yet another reason I will spend ETERNITY IN HELL. At the hospital, after her surgery and recovery, she began to wake up in the room. She was covered in a blanket up to her neck, and as her eyes barely fluttered open and she saw me standing over her caressing her cheek, I said, "Baby, something went wrong and they had to remove your whole body. Go »
Cool Kleenex Dispensers
My daughter brings crafts home from school. I'm sending her teacher a picture of this Easter Island-ish tissue dispenser for their next craft project. Hey, they can learn about Easter Island and the Moai statues. Go »
Special Olympics
Today, Brenda and I had our annual meeting for Olivia's Individual Education Plan (IEP). The whole team meets which is comprised by at least 6 various educators and the parents. Some teachers just pop in for just a few minutes. Go »
I'm a Doctor, Not a Kitchen Appliance!
My toaster has a timer on it that let's you know when it's finished. It seems a little silly to add a timer beeping that's a redundant addition to the toast loudly popping up from the machine that means the same thing. So now, because the timer emits a sound eerily similar to an EKG indicating flatline, every time it goes off I'll say to Brenda, "He's bread, Jim." Go »
And Then the Fight Started...
When Brenda and I attended my High School reunion, she noticed me staring at a woman seated a few tables away, drinking glass after glass of some alcoholic drink. She asked if I knew her. I told her, "That was my girlfriend from back in the day. Go »










Scott Hardie | March 20, 2023
It's not paranoia if they're really.... hired by you for a prank. :-)