Recent conversation with Brenda:

Me: When I die, I want people to believe I led a double life.

Brenda: How and more importantly, why?

Me: Try to respect my dying wish. Have 3 blacked out Land Rovers follow the funeral cortege and hire actors wearing trench coats to observe from a short distance at the burial.

Brenda: Stop being stupid.

Me: If I was Jason Bourne, I'm sure I'd have a clever comeback. But as it is, I got nothin'.


One Reply to I Died a Spy

Scott Hardie | March 20, 2023
It's not paranoia if they're really.... hired by you for a prank. :-)


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

It's Not My Fault

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: Steven! me:Yes, queen of my soul. Brenda: The bathroom sink is full of whiskers. Go »

Toothpicks, They're Not Just For Club Sandwiches Anymore

Remember back in fifth grade when you had to build that bridge, vague geometric shape, outhose, etc. out of toothpicks? The project so fragile if the bus to school took a turn at more than 2 mph, it would crumble to pieces. Go »

Killer Home Decor (Literally)

From chalk outline welcome doormats to dead horse head pillows à la The Godfather (with protruding tongue, no less), this website features decorations to give your home that perfect serial killer feel. I especially like the pooling blood carpet. Go »

The Cause And The Cure For The Munchies

So, you're an executive pothead sitting around the confernce room table with all the stoner VP's. The discussion centers on marketing a product that, while overtly illegal, has such an upside in monopolizing the market and growth potential. And whose turn is it to change the bong water, anyway? Go »

Happy Halloween

Back when I was about ten, I went trick or treating as a witch doctor. I got to a house that I didn't know who lived there and was greeted by a kindly looking old lady. When I routinely and without much enthusiaism stated, "Trick or treat," she responded by handing me a piece of religious literature. Go »

Love Letter and Goodbye

I had a very strange thing happen to me this morning. Overnight, I had a dream that featured my ex-wife, Betsy. I told Brenda about it and wondered what the image of Betsy represented in my subconscious that made me wake with such a clear image of her. Go »