I Died a Spy
by Steve West on March 19, 2023

Recent conversation with Brenda:
Me: When I die, I want people to believe I led a double life.
Brenda: How and more importantly, why?
Me: Try to respect my dying wish. Have 3 blacked out Land Rovers follow the funeral cortege and hire actors wearing trench coats to observe from a short distance at the burial.
Brenda: Stop being stupid.
Me: If I was Jason Bourne, I'm sure I'd have a clever comeback. But as it is, I got nothin'.
One Reply to I Died a Spy
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Never Volunteer, Dummy
Ever since seeing Anthony Hopkins in Magic, ventriloquists and their evil dummies have given me the creeps. This guy does as well but I laughed nonetheless. I think I could sit through his entire act but could never get past the queasiness and actually volunteer like this guy did. Go »
Not All Heroes Wear Capes
At 11:00 a.m., Brenda called me from the school where she works and told me that she had fallen and was unable to drive home. She needed me to 1) find a second driver for her car, 2) come get her and take her to urgent care and 3) make sure that Olivia is taken care of when she arrives home in an hour. Go »
Carnivores R Us
Someone in my neighborhood added his own sign to a nearby STOP sign which implored people to become vegetarian by adding "eating animals". Rather than tear off his sign, I added my own which read "without steak sauce". Go »
This Was No Boat Accident
Vacation Tip #2: Maybe you're into sharks, pun intended. I, myself, am not. For the longest time this has been my greatest fear; being eaten alive by a wild animal. Go »
Halloween Is For The Cats
Lest our feline readers feel left out, follow the links to some pretty cool costumed cats. They really look a lot more regal than their canine counterparts. Satan's kitty Earl, the cross-eyed cowboy kitty I am Me-owl from Krypton There isn't any garlic in that catnip, is there? Go »
Scott Hardie | March 20, 2023
It's not paranoia if they're really.... hired by you for a prank. :-)