I Died a Spy
by Steve West on March 19, 2023

Recent conversation with Brenda:
Me: When I die, I want people to believe I led a double life.
Brenda: How and more importantly, why?
Me: Try to respect my dying wish. Have 3 blacked out Land Rovers follow the funeral cortege and hire actors wearing trench coats to observe from a short distance at the burial.
Brenda: Stop being stupid.
Me: If I was Jason Bourne, I'm sure I'd have a clever comeback. But as it is, I got nothin'.
One Reply to I Died a Spy
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Strike Two
Brenda and I attended a school meeting today to discuss the battery of assessments needed to properly develop an education plan for Olivia. After hearing the assessments from the primary teacher, occupational therapist, speech therapist and physical therapist, we got to the part that was a stunner to say the least - the school psychologist. After giving her report which mimicked the other reports to a large degree, she informed us that she felt it was time to officially put it in the record that Olivia was intellectually disabled. Go »
Insanity is Relative
Recent conversation with Brenda. Me: You know those signs that say 'Keep Off the Grass'? Brenda: Of course. Go »
Massage This
Recent conversation with Brenda: (After a massage and dinner as a birthday gift from her sister) me: How was everything? Brenda: I'm gonna be sore for the next few days. I made the mistake of asking for medium pressure. Go »
I Hate Dentists At Halloween
This list of the worst candies to give at halloween includes toothbrushes commonly given by dental professionals. My dentist when I was a kid not only gave out toothbrushes but floss and a stern lecture on the way out the door for me and my parents. Jerk. Go »
The Texas Chili Cook-Off
Recently, at a Bowie Baysox baseball game, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Texas chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last minute, and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans, probably) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3. Go »
Scott Hardie | March 20, 2023
It's not paranoia if they're really.... hired by you for a prank. :-)