I Died a Spy
by Steve West on March 19, 2023

Recent conversation with Brenda:

Me: When I die, I want people to believe I led a double life.

Brenda: How and more importantly, why?

Me: Try to respect my dying wish. Have 3 blacked out Land Rovers follow the funeral cortege and hire actors wearing trench coats to observe from a short distance at the burial.

Brenda: Stop being stupid.

Me: If I was Jason Bourne, I'm sure I'd have a clever comeback. But as it is, I got nothin'.

One Reply to I Died a Spy

Scott Hardie | March 20, 2023
It's not paranoia if they're really.... hired by you for a prank. :-)

Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

The Fragrance of Introverts

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: You look so busy. What are you working on now? Me: An advertisement for a cologne for introverts that hasn't been created yet. Go »

Apparently, Some Visuals are Best Left Undescribed

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: I was thinking about Star Wars stuff the other day and I can't help but see this mental image of the Empire State Building wielding a light sabre and waving it at King Kong. You know, The Empire Strikes Back. Brenda: Have you taken your meds today? Go »

Out of the Closet and into the Stratosphere

So Tom Cruise wants to go into outer space and meet aliens. I think I can scrounge together a few bucks for a one-way ticket. Any other takers? Go »

Unlike Burger King, Special Orders Upset Us

Recent conversation with Brenda. Brenda: Feel like Subway for lunch? me: Only if I get a foot-long sandwich that's actually 12 inches long. Go »

Yes, It's Hot Enough For Me

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: The weather's been getting a lot warmer lately. me: I believe I noticed. Brenda: I'm worried that our air conditioner is too old and won't be good enough this summer. Go »

Strike Two

Brenda and I attended a school meeting today to discuss the battery of assessments needed to properly develop an education plan for Olivia. After hearing the assessments from the primary teacher, occupational therapist, speech therapist and physical therapist, we got to the part that was a stunner to say the least - the school psychologist. After giving her report which mimicked the other reports to a large degree, she informed us that she felt it was time to officially put it in the record that Olivia was intellectually disabled. Go »

Welcome to Funeratic!

Please log in or register to get started.

Learn more about the website.