Recent conversation with Brenda:

(After a massage and dinner as a birthday gift from her sister) me: How was everything?

Brenda: I'm gonna be sore for the next few days. I made the mistake of asking for medium pressure.

me: I guess each massage parlor has its own definition of pressure like restaurants have for medium rare. Now the massage parlor I go to...

Brenda: I don't want to hear about the massage parlor you go to.

me: But they're the best! I think they invented the extremely localized shiatsu massage technique. They use it to squeeze bills from your wallet. Where was dinner?

Brenda: Don Pablo's (a local mexican restaurant).

me: I hope dinner was after the massage 'cause if you eat mexican and then have a beefy swedish lady squeeze you...

Brenda: Dinner was after the massage so stop now.

me: I'm just sayin'. So what was the massage lady wearing?

Brenda: I'm going away now.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Christmas Post #5: For Those Just A Little Too Happy

I know a lot of happy people, I mean people that see humor in the Holocaust. I, myself, am generally a happy guy but not to that extent. A few of those people are on my Christmas list and will be receiving this stocking stuffer from me. Go »

Darth Vader Is Alive And Well And Living In My Toaster

So we got this gift from a mother-in law who shall remain nameless; a "super-mega-nuclear look at me long enough and your face will melt like that guy in Raiders toaster. There was nothing wrong with our existing toaster but when she saw it on QVC, my nameless mother-in-law had one of those have to have it moments. I've nicknamed the toaster Darth Vader because regardless of the setting, it turns the bread to the dark side every time. Go »

Party Time!

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: I think our neighbor died. Brenda: Who? Ray? Go »

Christmas Post #15: Christmas Kitsch

The folks at Ship of Fools annually compile their own gift list of what they term "The Twelve Days of Kitschmas". Good to see they also found huggable urns. Special Bonus 13th Day gift! Go »

Baby Boomer Blues

I overheard someone of my generation (born in the early 60's) recently say, "Kids today don't even know how to write in cursive," in a negative way. That statement got grumbled agreement from the codgers nearby. I was thinking without saying out loud, "Grandma, you can't even turn on your laptop without getting six viruses and wiring half your retirement money to a Nigerian Prince." Go »

Crazy For You, Baby

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: You know how crazy I am for you? Brenda: Crazy enough to raise three kids. me: I'm crazy enough to ignore the voices in my head when we talk. Go »