Massage This
by Steve West on June 27, 2013
Recent conversation with Brenda:
(After a massage and dinner as a birthday gift from her sister) me: How was everything?
Brenda: I'm gonna be sore for the next few days. I made the mistake of asking for medium pressure.
me: I guess each massage parlor has its own definition of pressure like restaurants have for medium rare. Now the massage parlor I go to...
Brenda: I don't want to hear about the massage parlor you go to.
me: But they're the best! I think they invented the extremely localized shiatsu massage technique. They use it to squeeze bills from your wallet. Where was dinner?
Brenda: Don Pablo's (a local mexican restaurant).
me: I hope dinner was after the massage 'cause if you eat mexican and then have a beefy swedish lady squeeze you...
Brenda: Dinner was after the massage so stop now.
me: I'm just sayin'. So what was the massage lady wearing?
Brenda: I'm going away now.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
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A pretty fun time again this year. My brother and his wife hosted a costume party and because Cheryl is a breast cancer survivor, she requested that each costume contain a touch of pink. I carried around a baguette and sang I Want to Rock 'n' Roll All Night in French (Je veux du rock 'n roll tour le soir, et jeter tour la jour). Go »One and One-half Is Not the Same As Two
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I've decided that from now on, I'm going to answer every question like a presidential candidate. Friend (voter): "Steve, what are you gonna do this weekend?" Me (blahblahblah): "That's a great question and an important one. Go »Strange Dreams
I dreamt that I had died and gone to Heaven. Brenda lived a few more years and then she passed. When she got to Heaven, she saw me and ran to me with open arms saying how much she had missed me. Go »I Am A Marketing Genius
Recent conversation with Brenda: me: I’m thinking of buying that 5-hour energy stuff. Brenda: Think it’ll be worth it? me: Depends on what it costs – that whole dollars to extra push-ups ratio. Go »
