Oh lord, new worry, what if I'm a narcissist.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_Personality_Disorder

"NPD is considered to result from a person’s belief that he or she is flawed in a way that makes the person fundamentally unacceptable to others [8]. This belief is held below the person’s conscious awareness; such a person would typically deny thinking such a thing if questioned."

It doesn't fit altogether, I definitely believe I am flawed and fundamentally unacceptable but I am consciously aware of it and would not deny thinking such a thing if asked. I try to avoid any grandiosity, but sometimes I do have these cocky internal feelings. I do need lots of reassurance. I *get* tons of reassurance. I get told I'm great and I feel ashamed hearing it because I truly don't believe I'm great. Do people tell me I'm great all the time just because I go about fishing for it all the time? Perhaps I secretly seek to be told that all the time and that's why I hear it all the time?

Whatever's wrong with me I have the feeling it's one of those where I'd have to be locked up in a mental ward having myself brainwashed for 5 years in order to come out cured. Haha.

Here I am trying to seek narcissistic supply in the form of people telling me, "No, Denise, you're not a narcissist". haha. Well I'll disallow comments just to make myself appear less of a narcissist. There's no avoiding it really though.


Prayer for the Paranoid

Denise Sawicki posts whatever she feels able to post without serious consequences Read more »

Late Halloween post

Well now that my little goo is expired I can mention how our Halloween party went. I think it went OK. A few people knew who we were pretending to be. Go »

Crazy day

More happened today than in my usual month I think... which goes to show you how uneventful my life is. So I don't think sleep is really going to happen. Go »

Why have I not checked this show out before?...

So I happened to find disk 1.1 of Queer as Folk (American version) at the library and it is rare to see disk 1.1 of anything so I checked it out. Go »

The Political Thing

The political thing I hinted at in my first blog entry is over for now. The signatures have been safely delivered to Bismarck. Anyway, here it is, the North Dakota Shared Parenting Initiative, at http://ndspi.org. Go »

Halloween

We got some pretty scary masks at KMart. Darrin went as a "Crypt Creature" and Darrell went as a werewolf. That is actually me in the skeleton mask but you'd never guess from this picture. Go »

Being Rich

I've decided I wouldn't really want to be wealthy. OK, in many people's estimation I am probably wealthy already, but, what I really mean is I wouldn't want to live like a wealthy person. I wouldn't want a huge house on the lake with my own boat.. Go »