Oh lord, new worry, what if I'm a narcissist.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_Personality_Disorder

"NPD is considered to result from a person’s belief that he or she is flawed in a way that makes the person fundamentally unacceptable to others [8]. This belief is held below the person’s conscious awareness; such a person would typically deny thinking such a thing if questioned."

It doesn't fit altogether, I definitely believe I am flawed and fundamentally unacceptable but I am consciously aware of it and would not deny thinking such a thing if asked. I try to avoid any grandiosity, but sometimes I do have these cocky internal feelings. I do need lots of reassurance. I *get* tons of reassurance. I get told I'm great and I feel ashamed hearing it because I truly don't believe I'm great. Do people tell me I'm great all the time just because I go about fishing for it all the time? Perhaps I secretly seek to be told that all the time and that's why I hear it all the time?

Whatever's wrong with me I have the feeling it's one of those where I'd have to be locked up in a mental ward having myself brainwashed for 5 years in order to come out cured. Haha.

Here I am trying to seek narcissistic supply in the form of people telling me, "No, Denise, you're not a narcissist". haha. Well I'll disallow comments just to make myself appear less of a narcissist. There's no avoiding it really though.


Prayer for the Paranoid

Denise Sawicki posts whatever she feels able to post without serious consequences Read more »

Who are you calling a pipsqueak?

So now we have moved on to watching Fullmetal Alchemist. We borrowed season 1 from the library. I quite like it. Go »

The British know how to make TV

Correction to my earlier post - we have now seen almost to the end of season 2 of QAF (Darrell decided to watch it after all) and it seems only season 1 is really amazing. Perhaps it gets better again later, I don't know. Is it any coincidence that season 1 is the one copied almost directly from the British version? Go »

Insecurity, North Dakota weather

Does my insecurity have no end? Will I ever stop embarrassing myself and annoying others by putting myself down? Is there some drug I can take to make myself stop? Go »

Our dog is smart

Our sheltie, Philip, is really smart. Here is his latest Oscar-worthy film, where he shows off his ability to mimic Darrell doing the following actions: turn a circle, stretch, sneeze, lie down, roll over (partway), hop, and speak: link Philip also knows how to read a few words, kind of, though I think he gets bored with it :-). Currently he's in school for agility, which entails learning how to run around a course jumping hurdles and using tunnels and seesaws in a prescribed manner. Go »

A girl wants to meet me

I'm scared of girls. Go »

Weather - the most boring conversational topic?!?

Well, perhaps not if you live in ND, I dunno. There's snow on the ground *and* dandelions in the lawn right now. That's a first, at least in my memory. Go »