Narcissist | Tragic Comedy

Oh lord, new worry, what if I'm a narcissist.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_Personality_Disorder

"NPD is considered to result from a person’s belief that he or she is flawed in a way that makes the person fundamentally unacceptable to others [8]. This belief is held below the person’s conscious awareness; such a person would typically deny thinking such a thing if questioned."

It doesn't fit altogether, I definitely believe I am flawed and fundamentally unacceptable but I am consciously aware of it and would not deny thinking such a thing if asked. I try to avoid any grandiosity, but sometimes I do have these cocky internal feelings. I do need lots of reassurance. I *get* tons of reassurance. I get told I'm great and I feel ashamed hearing it because I truly don't believe I'm great. Do people tell me I'm great all the time just because I go about fishing for it all the time? Perhaps I secretly seek to be told that all the time and that's why I hear it all the time?

Whatever's wrong with me I have the feeling it's one of those where I'd have to be locked up in a mental ward having myself brainwashed for 5 years in order to come out cured. Haha.

Here I am trying to seek narcissistic supply in the form of people telling me, "No, Denise, you're not a narcissist". haha. Well I'll disallow comments just to make myself appear less of a narcissist. There's no avoiding it really though.

Prayer for the Paranoid

Denise Sawicki posts whatever she feels able to post without serious consequences Read more »

Late Halloween post

Well now that my little goo is expired I can mention how our Halloween party went. I think it went OK. A few people knew who we were pretending to be. Go »

Hello

So... I know I've been mostly absent... I saw Amy's comment in RB and I just want to assure her that it is not her fault I quit RB :P. Go »

Sewing completed

Well yeah... I sewed a cape.. I am rather impressed with myself, though if you could see it up close you would see what a sloppy job I did. Go »

Adventures with food

So, Darrell is getting really into cooking lately so I got him a pasta machine and this weekend we used it for the first time.. OK I used it... and it was kinda fun! Go »

door to door salesperson

Well last night I had somewhat of a weird experience when this wacky lady came to our door to sell some cleaning supplies for $37 a bottle... I normally do not buy anything from solicitors but she had me flustered and I was cracking up at everything she was saying... Didn't want to send her away empty handed after her lengthy comedy show. Go »

Another Irritating Thing

The Indian episode isn't the only irritating thing that happened with The Cedars recently. A while before that, Darrell received an e-mail from someone claiming to be from MTV saying they had listened to his songs on the Jones Soda website, liked them, and wanted a CD to consider including in their show. Now this sounds like an obvious fake, but the thing is, some research showed that the person who sent the e-mail does exist and does work at MTV, the e-mail address was verifiable, the phone number led to a seemingly legitimate voice mail, and the address was an actual office at MTV. Go »