Narcissist
by Denise Sawicki on March 29, 2007
Oh lord, new worry, what if I'm a narcissist.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_Personality_Disorder
"NPD is considered to result from a person’s belief that he or she is flawed in a way that makes the person fundamentally unacceptable to others [8]. This belief is held below the person’s conscious awareness; such a person would typically deny thinking such a thing if questioned."
It doesn't fit altogether, I definitely believe I am flawed and fundamentally unacceptable but I am consciously aware of it and would not deny thinking such a thing if asked. I try to avoid any grandiosity, but sometimes I do have these cocky internal feelings. I do need lots of reassurance. I *get* tons of reassurance. I get told I'm great and I feel ashamed hearing it because I truly don't believe I'm great. Do people tell me I'm great all the time just because I go about fishing for it all the time? Perhaps I secretly seek to be told that all the time and that's why I hear it all the time?
Whatever's wrong with me I have the feeling it's one of those where I'd have to be locked up in a mental ward having myself brainwashed for 5 years in order to come out cured. Haha.
Here I am trying to seek narcissistic supply in the form of people telling me, "No, Denise, you're not a narcissist". haha. Well I'll disallow comments just to make myself appear less of a narcissist. There's no avoiding it really though.
Prayer for the Paranoid
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