Narcissist
by Denise Sawicki on March 29, 2007
Oh lord, new worry, what if I'm a narcissist.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_Personality_Disorder
"NPD is considered to result from a person’s belief that he or she is flawed in a way that makes the person fundamentally unacceptable to others [8]. This belief is held below the person’s conscious awareness; such a person would typically deny thinking such a thing if questioned."
It doesn't fit altogether, I definitely believe I am flawed and fundamentally unacceptable but I am consciously aware of it and would not deny thinking such a thing if asked. I try to avoid any grandiosity, but sometimes I do have these cocky internal feelings. I do need lots of reassurance. I *get* tons of reassurance. I get told I'm great and I feel ashamed hearing it because I truly don't believe I'm great. Do people tell me I'm great all the time just because I go about fishing for it all the time? Perhaps I secretly seek to be told that all the time and that's why I hear it all the time?
Whatever's wrong with me I have the feeling it's one of those where I'd have to be locked up in a mental ward having myself brainwashed for 5 years in order to come out cured. Haha.
Here I am trying to seek narcissistic supply in the form of people telling me, "No, Denise, you're not a narcissist". haha. Well I'll disallow comments just to make myself appear less of a narcissist. There's no avoiding it really though.
Prayer for the Paranoid
Denise Sawicki posts whatever she feels able to post without serious consequences Read more »
I love waking up early
I got up before 5, took a shower, did a bunch of my fun and addictive getting-free-stuff-on-the-internet activities, had breakfast, and went and found some treasures in Kameo, all before heading out to work at 7:50. That was awesome. We always go to bed before 10 anyway so what's the point hanging around in bed in the morning when I'm not tired. Go »I didn't like Brokeback Mountain
I know I'm a number of years too late to be talking about this, but I finally happened to see Brokeback Mountain and I have to say I didn't like it terribly much. Yes, I realize this is an extremely unpopular opinion to the point of being just plain wrong as an objective fact. Note, I do not have a problem with gay people or gay behavior. Go »goodbye dialup...
So, I've finally got some form of high speed internet though it's probably the slowest high speed they make (512 k). I like it though. It is so much better than what we had before. Go »Our first Con?
Darrell and I are thinking of going to this: http://www.valleycon.com/. We have never been to such an event before, and it is kind of expensive, but: A. Londo is one of our favorite TV characters ever B. Go »Crawlspace
Darrell just ordered an Atari on ebay. It just felt good to get annoyed with my mom first :) The guys are so excited looking over all the additional Atari games they could buy. I know it's kind of stupid to be buying that kind of thing instead of the hugely complex games that exist now, but Darrell said he wants the crawlspace to be a fun place without the kind of long, complicated game that can cause painful obsessions. Go »
