Narcissist
by Denise Sawicki on March 29, 2007
Oh lord, new worry, what if I'm a narcissist.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_Personality_Disorder
"NPD is considered to result from a person’s belief that he or she is flawed in a way that makes the person fundamentally unacceptable to others [8]. This belief is held below the person’s conscious awareness; such a person would typically deny thinking such a thing if questioned."
It doesn't fit altogether, I definitely believe I am flawed and fundamentally unacceptable but I am consciously aware of it and would not deny thinking such a thing if asked. I try to avoid any grandiosity, but sometimes I do have these cocky internal feelings. I do need lots of reassurance. I *get* tons of reassurance. I get told I'm great and I feel ashamed hearing it because I truly don't believe I'm great. Do people tell me I'm great all the time just because I go about fishing for it all the time? Perhaps I secretly seek to be told that all the time and that's why I hear it all the time?
Whatever's wrong with me I have the feeling it's one of those where I'd have to be locked up in a mental ward having myself brainwashed for 5 years in order to come out cured. Haha.
Here I am trying to seek narcissistic supply in the form of people telling me, "No, Denise, you're not a narcissist". haha. Well I'll disallow comments just to make myself appear less of a narcissist. There's no avoiding it really though.
Prayer for the Paranoid
Denise Sawicki posts whatever she feels able to post without serious consequences Read more »
My stupid brain
It seems I have quite a lot of former friends who wound up really, really, disliking me. So I am always alert to signs of that happening again. It's nobody's fault but my own, I assure you. Go »Frustrated
I just get so frustrated. I want my husband to be happy but the things he's decided will make him happy are completely out of our control (success at music). I wish something good would happen for him finally. Go »Stuff you may not realize about me :)
I don't know if people realize this, but I do talk, and I do have a sense of humor of a sort... it's just that it's only with Darrell and Darrin that these things come out! It seems my frame of reference for the world is quite a bit different than most people's. Go »Flood
So... not sure exactly why I live in this ridiculous state of North Dakota. I can tell myself that we're better off than California much of the time but who's to say? Go »Stupid stuff
Well the most exciting thing to report is I've developed a crush on a TV character. I think this is a pretty clear sign that I need a life. It's not even a remotely original or interesting choice (besides being behind the times) and I don't actually like bad boys dammit :P Go »
