Obama Criticizes Obama Over Rising Gas Prices
by Scott Hardie on April 24, 2011
I was going to share this fake news article that I drafted in a chat with friends...
Stopped at a DC-area gas station to fill up his motorcade, President Obama groaned as he watched the numbers climbing ever higher on the pump. "God, why don't I get off my ass and do something about the price of gas?" he said to himself. "What am I doing that's so important? Aren't I supposed to be fixing this economy already?" The president shifted his weight and elaborated. "I should probably get tough on the Saudis and just tell them to sell us oil cheaper if they know what's good for them. Oh, wait! Isn't there, like, some strategic reserve or something that I could tap? I should definitely open that up. Americans are losing their jobs!" Twisting shut the cap on his gas tank, Obama speculated about his motives. "Maybe I don't take this seriously because we didn't have to worry about gas where I grew up in Kenya."...but then the administration made this announcement and gave the appearance of "doing something." Reality is sadder than fiction.
One Reply to Obama Criticizes Obama Over Rising Gas Prices
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »
Pigeon Panic
Since Adrianne doesn't permit replies to her posts, I'll link it here: Poisoned pigeons fall from sky in Texarkana. The chain of events is too bizarre not to reiterate: A pigeon flew into a bank and defecated on a customer, so the bank put poisoned grain on the roof hoping to drive away the pigeons. Instead, dozens of birds flopped dead on the ground downtown – right during the city's annual festival. Go »Something Comes Along to Intervene
I've been enjoying "Meddle" and "Remedy" by Little Boots, two great electropop songs with catchy hooks, perfect for summer. But I didn't really take her seriously as an artist until I heard "Stuck on Repeat." It's pop music on acid, like Kylie Minogue produced by Captain Beefheart, and the unlikeliest hit song of the year. Go »Crash
There are some dangerous intersections in our neighborhood, where trucks come barreling through after the light turns red. This morning, Kelly and I were waiting at the light when she dropped her sunglasses. "Fuck beans," she muttered, unbuckling her seat belt and leaning forward just as the light turned green. Go »In Bed
"You are very generous, and always think of the other fellow." Go »Going Green
This thing might turn out to be as short-lived as my other two attempts at a personal blog, but damn it if I haven't craved having such an outlet for the better part of a year now. It seems like a week doesn't go by that I don't have some little adventure to turn into an anecdote or a frustration to rant about. My idle thoughts are as pointless as anybody else's, I realize, but that's what the Internet is for (besides porn). Go »
Jackie Mason | April 29, 2011
[hidden by author request]