Recent conversation with Brenda:

Brenda: How was your day?

Me: It was going so well until I got chased by a police dog.

Brenda: Oh, sweet lord, why was a police dog chasing you?

Me: I'm not sure. Maybe it was the Beggin' Strips t-shirt I was wearing.

Brenda: I told you that shirt was ridiculous.

Me: Whatever. But as a Public Service Announcement, if you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then onto a little see-saw, then jump through a ring of fire. Apparently, they're trained for that.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

I'm Like Evander Holyfield Except With Two Entire Ears

Recent conversation with Brenda. Brenda: My aunt just had a birthday. She's 94. Go »

Speaking Of Tattoos...

"She Who Must Be Obeyed" (my wife) has graciously allowed me to alter my flesh by getting a tattoo. Much thought has gone into this. David Spade put it well after getting a Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes tattoo on his shoulder. Go »

Massage This

Recent conversation with Brenda: (After a massage and dinner as a birthday gift from her sister) me: How was everything? Brenda: I'm gonna be sore for the next few days. I made the mistake of asking for medium pressure. Go »

Laugh Or Cry

I have today and tomorrow scheduled off from work (unrelated to any on-the-job sarcasm). I haven't requested two days in a row off from work since last summer, I think. So I treated myself to a couple of midweek vacation days to R & R. Go »

Real Life Comedy/Tragedy

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: Why did you marry me? Brenda: Because you're funny, Me: I thought it was because I was good in bed. Brenda: You see? Go »

It's The Plumber!

The punchline to the old talking parrot joke recently leaped into my mind. Lauren dropped a lipstick tube down her bathroom sink because it has nothing to cover the drain hole. That thing that goes up and down to close the sink drain isn't part of this particular sink. Go »