How Many Strange Businesses Can One Little Town Have?
by Steve West on December 12, 2009
Bowie is just a hole-in-the-wall kinda town but it's full of proud residents. I like it a lot. But man, we've got quite a few odd businesses.
Number one on the hit parade is a place named the Cat and Dog Veterinary Referral. They don't accept patients. Only referrals. I was very confused by their business name thinking that there's no way a place can stay in business if their raison d'etre is to refer you someplace else!
Bowie was founded a thousand years ago by the Belair family patriarch and the mansion they lived in has been converted to a museum. I've never been there. I didn't actually know where it was until a few years ago. Yet there's a museum on the ground floor with a gift shop. Who's paying for all this? It seems to be a county site so the answer is I'm paying for it. I'd prefer my tax dollars go to buying the volunteer fire department a new truck. But my funds apparently are diverted from nonsense like that to make sure the stupid Belair Mansion museum doesn't run out of fuzzy dice with "Welcome to Bowie" emblazoned where the one pip should be.
Speaking of pretention. We actually have a private club called the Bowie Tennis and Bath. The name hearkens back to the days when a private swimming pool was called a bath instead of the festering urine pool that all public pools are when patronized by rich little turd-droppers minded by their illegal immigrant nannies. The nannies don't bug me too much - it's actually the name.
We have two dog "parks" that are no more than a 50 x 200 foot bare patches of unused yards surrounded by chain link. Not only are there no doggie type carousels or whatever dogs romp on, there are no trees in either place. How can you have a park with no trees. Especially a dog park. Hello?! They're dogs! They do have decorative dog poopy bag dispensers and receptacles that are expected to be emptied by county vehicles. How'd you like that job?
I'm ranting just a little here so I'll stop before I talk about the U-Store-It place that I'm convinced is a serial killer hideaway or our City Hall that rents out space to the local cable company instead of giving it to the local town cops desperate for space.
God, I love this town! Seriously.
Three Replies to How Many Strange Businesses Can One Little Town Have?
Steve West | December 12, 2009
If I'm lucky, maybe a nice rug for the library?
Erik Bates | December 12, 2009
I was at the Fabulous Fox Theater here in St. Louis a few weeks ago (my girlfriend sings with the symphony chorus, so I get cheap tickets through her) and I saw a photo of Garrison Keillor on the wall in one of the hallways.
I want to go to a taping of Prairie Home Companion like you wouldn't believe.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Unlike Burger King, Special Orders Upset Us
Recent conversation with Brenda. Brenda: Feel like Subway for lunch? me: Only if I get a foot-long sandwich that's actually 12 inches long. Go »The Day In Pictures
The Seattle Post Intelligencer recently has introduced a new feature to their webpage called Go »Vanity Plate
I saw a blue Toyota Rav 4 with a vanity plate SINGPLY. What the hell does that mean? StING PLoY? Go »Winch Ahoy
The fourth Sunday of each month, a local boating organization offers free sailing to children with disabilities. They're called Chesapeake Region Accessible Boating (CRAB). We've been trying for months to go but stuff happened each weekend. Go »Great Moments In Sign Hacking
If only I had had my camera... The Washington Beltway is similar to other major national highways in that it has several LED signs displaying messages to commuters. Silver alerts, orange alerts, missing children BOLOs, etc. Go »
Scott Hardie | December 12, 2009
What would Garrison Keillor make of UOAS?