Flight of the Conchords rule!

2 Quarts of Tanning Lotion, Stat!
Lots of stuff spilled in the road by trucks.
These dolls define my childhood heroes.
Week's worth of dumbasses - I'm the crab guy halfway through.
M*A*S*H stars, Where Are They Now? Who knew Loretta Swit was 70? Liar.
Brand names that will soon disappear. K-mart, Old Navy, Motorola, Dodge...
Latest "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handey.
A good friend of mine admitted to wearing dragon's eyes contacts when she was a teenager. "It was a phase I passed through." Now she can relive those awkward teenage years with lots and lots of choices. F/X contacts.
Stand-up of the week: Anjelah Johnson


Three Replies to I'm Down To My Socks... It's Posting Time.

Amy Austin | March 8, 2008
That's it? Aww, yeah, that's it. I hope this doesn't mean that posting hours are over, Steve... ever!

Once again -- in case no one else is as curious enough like I am to read the follow-up comments...
Earth boys are sleazy! (And I'm pretty sure I saw Derek Zoolander's yang-twin in there...)

Steve West | March 8, 2008
That link was just as funny as the one I found. Zoolander, haha!

Amy Austin | March 8, 2008
Going back, it actually appears that there were a few Dereks in there, but I think you know the one I'm talking about, right? Matilda was right there along with him! ;-D

Wow, so my new computer is likely to be one of the last Gateways, huh... that's kind of sad. As are a few others on the list. Ahh... c'est la vie.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

If I Had A Hammer...

I once heard Leonard Nimoy singing this old Pete Seeger tune and it almost gave me epileptic convulsions. It has nothing to do with this link of an amazing artist who works with Hammer and Nails. It's just that whenever I see a hammer or box of nails or even a picture of Karen Carpenter - that's the song that leaps into my head. Go »

Unspoken Cultural Differences

Various hand gestures mean different things, depending on where in the world you happen to be. This guide to unspoken communication may be invaluable to those globetrotters out there. Go »

Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know, but you know deserves it. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. Go »

Me and Al Bundy

Recently, Brenda made the mistake of asking me to fix the toilet. It seemed to have gunk in the thingy that supplies the water and would only filll if I poked it with a paper clip in the spout thingy. You can tell I'm a semi-professional because of all the technical jargon. Go »

Do Pumpkins Exist Outside Of These Fall Holidays?

They should. I love the taste of homemade pumpkin pie. I almost didn't marry Brenda when she told me she couldn't make one but I thankfully reconsidered. Go »

Have I Mentioned How Much I Love My Wife?

I got a surprise visit from Amy Austin today. She was passing through Maryland on her way to Florida and took the time to call me from the road. I was thrilled that she thought of me being in the area and invited her to visit for what could only be a brief visit. Go »