I'm Down To My Socks... It's Posting Time.
by Steve West on March 8, 2008

Flight of the Conchords rule!
2 Quarts of Tanning Lotion, Stat!
Lots of stuff spilled in the road by trucks.
These dolls define my childhood heroes.
Week's worth of dumbasses - I'm the crab guy halfway through.
M*A*S*H stars, Where Are They Now? Who knew Loretta Swit was 70? Liar.
Brand names that will soon disappear. K-mart, Old Navy, Motorola, Dodge...
Latest "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handey.
A good friend of mine admitted to wearing dragon's eyes contacts when she was a teenager. "It was a phase I passed through." Now she can relive those awkward teenage years with lots and lots of choices. F/X contacts.
Stand-up of the week: Anjelah Johnson
Three Replies to I'm Down To My Socks... It's Posting Time.
Steve West | March 8, 2008
That link was just as funny as the one I found. Zoolander, haha!
Amy Austin | March 8, 2008
Going back, it actually appears that there were a few Dereks in there, but I think you know the one I'm talking about, right? Matilda was right there along with him! ;-D
Wow, so my new computer is likely to be one of the last Gateways, huh... that's kind of sad. As are a few others on the list. Ahh... c'est la vie.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Brenda's Diet Diary
Dear Diet Diary, As a Christmas present this year, my daughter, Lauren (what a thoughtful darling), bought me a week of personal training at the local health club. Although I am still in reasonable shape since being a high school cheerleader 40 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Juan Antonio (ooh what a name) who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. Go »
Good News, Bad News, Good News...
Good News: Brenda got a job. Bad News: The pay sucks! Good News: Potential new career track. Go »
The Texas Chili Cook-Off
Recently, at a Bowie Baysox baseball game, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Texas chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last minute, and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans, probably) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3. Go »
Dumb Criminals And Other Court Type Stuff Part 3
Another small collection of weird legal matters. Yeah research, that's the ticket; Too manly for the ladies' room; Chi-tonw blues; Cat's got yer what?; and finally, I have no idea what it's like to be busted for DUI, taken for mugshots wearing a shirt displaying my love for midget sex, and then being forever haunted by that image surfacing on the internet, but I know who to ask. Go »
I'm a Doctor, Not a Kitchen Appliance!
My toaster has a timer on it that let's you know when it's finished. It seems a little silly to add a timer beeping that's a redundant addition to the toast loudly popping up from the machine that means the same thing. So now, because the timer emits a sound eerily similar to an EKG indicating flatline, every time it goes off I'll say to Brenda, "He's bread, Jim." Go »
Amy Austin | March 8, 2008
That's it? Aww, yeah, that's it. I hope this doesn't mean that posting hours are over, Steve... ever!
Once again -- in case no one else is as curious enough like I am to read the follow-up comments...
Earth boys are sleazy! (And I'm pretty sure I saw Derek Zoolander's yang-twin in there...)