Flight of the Conchords rule!

2 Quarts of Tanning Lotion, Stat!
Lots of stuff spilled in the road by trucks.
These dolls define my childhood heroes.
Week's worth of dumbasses - I'm the crab guy halfway through.
M*A*S*H stars, Where Are They Now? Who knew Loretta Swit was 70? Liar.
Brand names that will soon disappear. K-mart, Old Navy, Motorola, Dodge...
Latest "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handey.
A good friend of mine admitted to wearing dragon's eyes contacts when she was a teenager. "It was a phase I passed through." Now she can relive those awkward teenage years with lots and lots of choices. F/X contacts.
Stand-up of the week: Anjelah Johnson


Three Replies to I'm Down To My Socks... It's Posting Time.

Amy Austin | March 8, 2008
That's it? Aww, yeah, that's it. I hope this doesn't mean that posting hours are over, Steve... ever!

Once again -- in case no one else is as curious enough like I am to read the follow-up comments...
Earth boys are sleazy! (And I'm pretty sure I saw Derek Zoolander's yang-twin in there...)

Steve West | March 8, 2008
That link was just as funny as the one I found. Zoolander, haha!

Amy Austin | March 8, 2008
Going back, it actually appears that there were a few Dereks in there, but I think you know the one I'm talking about, right? Matilda was right there along with him! ;-D

Wow, so my new computer is likely to be one of the last Gateways, huh... that's kind of sad. As are a few others on the list. Ahh... c'est la vie.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Christmas and a Lizard's Tale

One Christmas when Lauren was eight, like a lot of girls her age, wished for a pony. My backyard at the time was about the size of a Volkswagen Minibus. Despite her assurances that she would let it roam the neighborhood for sufficient exercise, I said, “Not this year,” as I pictured myself following the horse with a pooper scooper. Go »

My Faith in Humanity is Restored

This is a true story I saw on a travel blog website. Late one night, a woman and her husband received the tragic news that their three-year-old grandson in Denver had been murdered by their daughter’s live-in boyfriend. The boy was being taken off life support at 9 o’clock that evening and his parents opted for organ donation which would take place immediately upon his passing. Go »

Ice Cream That Would Make Homer Simpson Retch

In all honesty, I felt physically ill after about 1/3 of the way through this list. I could actually taste some of this nauseating stuff and it made my stomach churn. I don't even want to know what raw horseflesh flavor is like. Go »

The Real Colon Blow Cereal

Holy metaphors, Batman! This recent All-Bran commercial from Kellogg's touts its ability to aid one in shitting enough bricks to build a barbecue. Go »

Half-time

At about the halfway mark between Halloween and Christmas, I ran across this gift idea suitable for both holidays. Zombie lawn sculpture. Dave Barry included this in his annual gift guide and I found the original source for it. Go »

Baby Boomer Blues

I overheard someone of my generation (born in the early 60's) recently say, "Kids today don't even know how to write in cursive," in a negative way. That statement got grumbled agreement from the codgers nearby. I was thinking without saying out loud, "Grandma, you can't even turn on your laptop without getting six viruses and wiring half your retirement money to a Nigerian Prince." Go »