When I flew to Fargo a while back for Denise's wedding, I woke up at 2am to be out the door by 3am to get to Tampa by 4am to check in by 5am for a 6am flight. I stepped into the long Delta check-in line an hour and fifteen minutes before my flight, but I was concerned at the signs all over the place saying I would be turned away if I arrived less than an hour before the flight. Sure enough, it took me half an hour to get through the line, and the rude Delta clerk refused to let me on the plane even though I could easily make it to the gate in time. I wound up sitting around the airport for hours and lost a whole day of my visit to Fargo, arriving that evening instead of that morning. I was ready to swear never to fly Delta again, and now I wish I'd done so.

What kind of operation are they running? The flight from Sarasota to Atlanta last night took forever to get off the ground, flew longer than was scheduled, and then sat on the ground for a seeming eternity. (Yes, this is largely the airport's fault.) I hustled as quickly as my aching legs could carry my fat ass to the next gate and arrived with five minutes to spare, but the door was closed and they wouldn't admit me. The plane was still sitting right there at the gate with people taking their seats, but "the door is closed" is apparently eternal law once enacted. I had to sit for 90 minutes to catch the next flight to Milwaukee, a puddle jumper that was the single most painful flight I've ever taken. My mom is a petite woman compared to me (photo), but even she would have had her elbow in the next person's face in this sliver of a seat. I had it so bad that even crammed against the window, my other arm was so far into the next seat that the woman beside me spent the two-hour flight doubled over reading her book at her knees. The armrests carved into my thighs and my butt wasn't even actually touching the seat. I realize I'm much bigger than the ordinary traveler and I expect pain when I fly, but this was ridiculous; I can't imagine a normal person fitting into this arrangement. I was on the verge of tears halfway through; I don't know if I could have made it if they hadn't arrived a half hour early. I sure hope I'm not stuck on another one for the return trip.

It's been great fun since I landed, though. Matt and I stayed up till 5am laughing and reminiscing and dropping bombshells about our new selves, most of which I shouldn't share here. We're off to visit old friends in Illinois tonight and return tomorrow for video-game shopping and General-Tso's-eating. Photos when I get back.


Two Replies to Screw Delta (Gotta Rant)

Jackie Mason | October 6, 2006
[hidden by author request]

Scott Hardie | October 6, 2006
Hear, hear. Try investigating other airlines. I flew Airtran for each of my recent trips to Chicago and got used to upgrading to business class at the ticket counter for $50, and so I was a bit surprised when I flew Delta to Milwaukee and asked to upgrade and was told it would cost hundreds of dollars. Here's sticking to Airtran.


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Trekkers Will Understand

The Netflix summary of Deep Space Nine (Season Two): "Commander Benjamin Sisko (Avery Brooks) heads the crew of Deep Space Nine -- including Odo (Rene Auberjonois), Worf (Michael Dom), Dax (Terry Farrell) and others -- as it travels through space, trying to keep both the ship and the areas it travels safe, secure and free. One of the first (and greatest) challenges the intrepid voyagers face is the violence of the Dominion, a group composed partially of the shape-shifting Changelings." Gee, I wonder why fans call this the most misunderstood of all Star Trek series. Go »

Day 14

In lieu of "weight loss Wednesday" since I'm much too busy on Wednesdays even to get online, let me write today that I'm on day 14 of a new diet, which is 13 more days than nearly all of my attempts last. This is, in fact, the second-longest I've ever lasted on a diet, and in a few weeks it will be the longest. This should indicate how lousy my self-discipline is and why I've ballooned to this size, around 450 pounds. Go »

Dignity

Headline: Bush wishes Hussein execution was 'more dignified' Somewhere in an alternate universe: It's an election year, the Democratic candidate has just said exactly the same thing, and the Republican Party is ripping him a new asshole the size of Mars. Go »

Is That a George Lucas Character?

Matthew Preston: "If making up words for directions is wrong, I don't want to be fludoo." Go »

Solitaire

Right now, I don't think I could write emotionally about my feelings from last night as well as I could have in the moment, but I haven't finished considering them and this is a part of that process. Long story short, I found myself passing on friends who really wanted to spend time with me in order to sit here and write code for Celebrity Goo Game, and I came to question what the hell I was doing. As in, my whole lifestyle. Go »

R.I.P. Nicole

You know those memes about how 2020 just keeps getting worse by the month? I didn't like them before because it's been such a very awful and depressing year that I'm not in the mood to joke about it. And now I really don't like them, because for me, June has indeed managed to be even worse: My friend Nicole died suddenly of a stroke on Friday. Go »