Recent conversation with Brenda:

Me: (after winning the wishbone break) Dead chicken says I get my wish.

Brenda: What did you wish for?

Me: What's your greatest fantasy?

Brenda: Fourteen hours of sleep followed by a buffet breakfast.

Me: Aren't you fortunate that I'm great in bed? I can sleep there all day.

Brenda: And then make breakfast?

Me: Hey, wait. Dead chicken said I won.

Brenda: Make sure he's on the menu.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Christmas Post #4: I Want A Piece Of Uranus

A former boss of mine once said something similar to me but not in those exact words. This site claims to be selling the planet Uranus. The text is presented very tongue in cheek but they do appear to be actually selling stuff; bumper stickers and mousepads that claim "I own Uranus". Go »

Dumb Celebrity Quotes

Anyone can say something stupid every once in a while, of course. But the celebrities featured on this website sure seem to make a habit of it. Only one quote per customer but they probably make up the usual suspects in the dumb quote hall of shame. Go »

Ho, Ho, Ho

I was in my car stopped at a light after going to Giant when two jokers pulled beside me and made motions for me to roll down my window. They drunkenly started shouting, "Hi, Santa! What are ya gonna bring me for Christmas this year?" Go »

So, I Got My Concealed Gun Permit, Yesterday...

...and went over to my local Bass Pro Shop to get a small 9mm pistol for home protection. When I was ready to pay for the gun and bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Go »

Worst Pun Ever

Recent conversation with Brenda. Brenda: What are you grilling for dinner? me: Wookie steak. Go »

Art Imitates Life

I had a flat tire this morning and it momentarily bummed me out. I ran over a bolt and could see it sticking out of the damned thing. I really didn't feel like crawling around on the oily pavement in my work clothes, so I called roadside assistance provided by my insurance carrier. Go »