Recent conversation with Brenda:

Me: (after winning the wishbone break) Dead chicken says I get my wish.

Brenda: What did you wish for?

Me: What's your greatest fantasy?

Brenda: Fourteen hours of sleep followed by a buffet breakfast.

Me: Aren't you fortunate that I'm great in bed? I can sleep there all day.

Brenda: And then make breakfast?

Me: Hey, wait. Dead chicken said I won.

Brenda: Make sure he's on the menu.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Fast Food, Clowns & Intestinal Disease

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: I really don't feel like cooking tonight. Is Chick-fil-A okay with you? me: As long as it's not McDonald's. Go »

Christmas and a Lizard's Tale

One Christmas when Lauren was eight, like a lot of girls her age, wished for a pony. My backyard at the time was about the size of a Volkswagen Minibus. Despite her assurances that she would let it roam the neighborhood for sufficient exercise, I said, “Not this year,” as I pictured myself following the horse with a pooper scooper. Go »

Not All Heroes Wear Capes

At 11:00 a.m., Brenda called me from the school where she works and told me that she had fallen and was unable to drive home. She needed me to 1) find a second driver for her car, 2) come get her and take her to urgent care and 3) make sure that Olivia is taken care of when she arrives home in an hour. Go »

Vanity Plate

I saw a blue Toyota Rav 4 with a vanity plate SINGPLY. What the hell does that mean? StING PLoY? Go »

Shadowlands

As much as I admire the shadow creations, I know I wouldn't be able to stand having the pile of trash responsible sitting in the middle of my rec room. Seriously, how many have a "gallery" in their home. Go »

Back to School Night

We just got back from the titular event and I have to say, I love my kids' school. Lauren is in 3rd grade and Olivia is in the autism program in 1st grade. Lauren has one teacher and Olivia has at least three (more if you count her speech therapist, occupational therapist, and physical therapist). Go »