Recent conversation with Brenda:

Me: (after winning the wishbone break) Dead chicken says I get my wish.

Brenda: What did you wish for?

Me: What's your greatest fantasy?

Brenda: Fourteen hours of sleep followed by a buffet breakfast.

Me: Aren't you fortunate that I'm great in bed? I can sleep there all day.

Brenda: And then make breakfast?

Me: Hey, wait. Dead chicken said I won.

Brenda: Make sure he's on the menu.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Christmas Post #8: Political Pun Waiting To Happen

Very obvious Hillary pun that still amused me. Hillary nutcracker in action. Check out this site for a lot of clever gifts although you'll have to wade through a lot of truly idiotic stuff as well. Go »

If It's Human Waste, Save Some For Me

Should Burt Reynolds' fecal matter be worth more than Crispin Glover's? Which costs more: David Lee Roth's fecal matter or Sammy Hagar's urine? Start your Christmas list now for Celebrity Organic Waste Products. Go »

Exercise By Proxy

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: I just watched a guy do 50 push-ups. Can you do that? Me: Sure. Go »

Dumb Criminals And Other Court Type Stuff Part 2

Another collection of dumb criminals/lawsuits. Over-salted burger; anger management irony; the writing is on the wall dope; porn = pain; and finally, from the "What Did They Expect?" department, Unwanted donation . Go »

What'd I Step In?

Things stuck to the bottom of my internet shoe. Things not to do while wearing briefs made of beef jerky. (Besides wearing briefs made of beef jerky) Venezuelans believe children should not watch The Simpsons, offer more wholesome fare instead. Go »

F* You BAFTA

The Mickster didn't say F* you to BAFTA after winning their best actor award but did have a vulgarity filled acceptance speech reminiscent of Russell Crowe. Come to think of it, Russell Crowe lost the Academy Award that year to Denzel Washington. An Oscar worthy role in A Beautiful Mind lost to an Oscar worthy actor in Training Day. Go »