Sleep, Really?
by Steve West on December 6, 2024

Recent conversation with Brenda:
Me: (after winning the wishbone break) Dead chicken says I get my wish.
Brenda: What did you wish for?
Me: What's your greatest fantasy?
Brenda: Fourteen hours of sleep followed by a buffet breakfast.
Me: Aren't you fortunate that I'm great in bed? I can sleep there all day.
Brenda: And then make breakfast?
Me: Hey, wait. Dead chicken said I won.
Brenda: Make sure he's on the menu.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Anchors Aweigh
Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: (after observing me sucking in my stomach while standing on a scale) Ha! Me: What? Brenda: Sucking in your blubber won't help! Go »
Shadowlands
As much as I admire the shadow creations, I know I wouldn't be able to stand having the pile of trash responsible sitting in the middle of my rec room. Seriously, how many have a "gallery" in their home. Go »
The Real Colon Blow Cereal
Holy metaphors, Batman! This recent All-Bran commercial from Kellogg's touts its ability to aid one in shitting enough bricks to build a barbecue. Go »
Dumb Criminals And Other Court Type Stuff
Small potpourri of MENSA reject criminals, frivolous lawsuits and just dumb laws. Cupcake Burglar; Cheeseburger Lawsuit; Drunken Sock Eater; Saggy Trouser Law; and Goofy Streaker. The most shocking story to me is this last one in which a victimized Kirsten Dunst had her room burgled and items stolen including a $13,000 handbag. Go »
So, How Much Has Been Spent Saving Matt Damon?
I calculated the amount of money spent, based on movie budgets, in saving Matt Damon. I only went to 2015 because I got tired. But up to then, here's the money that's been spent. Go »