Recent conversation with Brenda:

Me: (after winning the wishbone break) Dead chicken says I get my wish.

Brenda: What did you wish for?

Me: What's your greatest fantasy?

Brenda: Fourteen hours of sleep followed by a buffet breakfast.

Me: Aren't you fortunate that I'm great in bed? I can sleep there all day.

Brenda: And then make breakfast?

Me: Hey, wait. Dead chicken said I won.

Brenda: Make sure he's on the menu.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

I'm a Doctor, Not a Kitchen Appliance!

My toaster has a timer on it that let's you know when it's finished. It seems a little silly to add a timer beeping that's a redundant addition to the toast loudly popping up from the machine that means the same thing. So now, because the timer emits a sound eerily similar to an EKG indicating flatline, every time it goes off I'll say to Brenda, "He's bread, Jim." Go »

Party Time!

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: I think our neighbor died. Brenda: Who? Ray? Go »

Really Cheap Costumes

Looking for a great photo for a future Halloween section in that photo album you can show the grandkids? Just wear one of these T-shirts. And then get arrested. Go »

Approaching Decision Time

The Mickster/Sean Penn debate rages. I'm listing my reasons not to choose Mickey Rourke and comparing them to a similar list for Sean Penn. Mickey Rourke 1. Go »

Japanese Terebi Game Shows 2

Sometimes clever but usually hilarious clips from one particularly wacky game show. Human Tetris I; Human Tetris II; Human Tetris III. Go »

Christmas Post #11: Niche Market Dolls

In Waiting For Guffman, Christopher Guest play acts with his My Dinner With Andre action figures. That was the funniest moment of the film for me. I could see something similar happening with almost any of the dolls in this collection. Go »