Recent encounter at my local deli:

Me: (signaling my server) Excuse me, this is an egg salad sandwich.

Server: Yes, bon appétit.

Me: But I ordered a chicken salad sandwich.

Sever: Well, egg salad technically is chicken salad.

Me: So, it is. (placing menu on table with picture of monopoly money on the kid's menu) And this is technically money so keep the change. (I walked out without the sandwich. And the picture was of a $50 bill, but I'm a heavy tipper.)


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

GooCon: Siesta Key

What can I say? It was the best time ever! Future GooCons now have a standard that will be difficult to surpass. Go »

Isn't That What You Asked?

When in college, I would go bar hopping with friends on occasion. We'd go to 5, 6, 20 different bars, dance clubs, etc. I've since reformed my ways and on a wild night may go to 1 1/2 (that's one and the threat of falling asleep at the second). Go »

My Child is a Kite

Parenting is like flying a kite. When I was a boy of nine, I went out to fly a kite on the banks of the Potomac River. The Virginia border sat just across the river. Go »

And Then the Fight Started...

When Brenda and I attended my High School reunion, she noticed me staring at a woman seated a few tables away, drinking glass after glass of some alcoholic drink. She asked if I knew her. I told her, "That was my girlfriend from back in the day. Go »

I'm Like Tyson Without a Face Tattoo

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: Where did you get that scar? me: Which one? Brenda: The one between your eyes. Go »

For Your Consideration...

So many actors are on their best behaviour come Oscar time because they don't want anything to interfere with their chances to win in this rare opportunity. The rarest of opportunities occurs this year for Mickey Rourke who is not exactly on a first name basis with Oscar nominations. And may never be there again. Go »