Recent encounter at my local deli:

Me: (signaling my server) Excuse me, this is an egg salad sandwich.

Server: Yes, bon appétit.

Me: But I ordered a chicken salad sandwich.

Sever: Well, egg salad technically is chicken salad.

Me: So, it is. (placing menu on table with picture of monopoly money on the kid's menu) And this is technically money so keep the change. (I walked out without the sandwich. And the picture was of a $50 bill, but I'm a heavy tipper.)


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Sarcasm Is Not For Everyone

Today, my boss’ boss asked me for an update on our current IT project. I called that department and while musing why she didn’t just call them herself, got the requested update. It wasn’t good. Go »

The Green Thing

While checking out at the grocery, I overheard the young cashier suggest to an older woman in front of me, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment. The woman apologized and explained, “We didn’t have this green thing back in my early days.” The clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Go »

This Year Goes to 11 contd.

What do the following people have in common? Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Wayne Gretzky, Melissa Etheridge, Eddie Murphy, George Lopez, Marilyn Milian, George Clooney, Michael J. Fox, Kim Deal, Boy George, Forest Whitaker, Barack Obama, Susan Olsen, Wynton Marsalis, Heather Locklear, Meg Ryan, Ann Coulter, and Steve West. Go »

F* You BAFTA

The Mickster didn't say F* you to BAFTA after winning their best actor award but did have a vulgarity filled acceptance speech reminiscent of Russell Crowe. Come to think of it, Russell Crowe lost the Academy Award that year to Denzel Washington. An Oscar worthy role in A Beautiful Mind lost to an Oscar worthy actor in Training Day. Go »

Halloween Is Not For Kids

More and more, Halloween is becoming an occasion for parents to dress their kids for their own amusement and less and less for children to dress themselves as they want. I find it difficult to believe that any of these kids chose these costumes themselves and, although creative, are scary insights into the minds of their potential serial killer parents. The "rat eating brains" cap for infants disturbed me the most. Go »

Post-vacation Blues

Without going into great detail, my co-workers are muddle-brained knuckleheads that make the Keystone Kops look like a Mensa meeting. Federal sanctions are not that far-fetched. Changes will be made soon. Go »