The Maryland Renaissance Festival is an annual event that takes place on eight consecutive weekends each year at an outdoor site in Crownsville, MD. It usually starts right around when school does so Brenda and I have been distracted away from going for several years. We promised the girls we would absolutely go this year for their mini-vacation.

The Festival in one word would be cleavage. I saw more cleavage than an Elvira marathon. Without even trying to, you understand. Costumed people say period things and engage each other in mock conversation for any passersby benefit and amusement. A hundred different booths and shops sell clothing and costumes, glass blown objets d'art, sculpture, wax casts of your face and hands, face painters, masks, satyr and nymph horn headgear, fake weapons, hand carved walking sticks, etc., etc., etc...

The foods were hilarious but tasty offerings like 'steak on a stake' and entire turkey legs. And lots and lots of mead.

Entertainment (besides cleavage) consisted of sword swallowers, jugglers, people on stilts, pony and elephant rides, story tellers, short plays like Macbeth in 20 minutes or less, jousting and archery demonstrations, as well as modern day boardwalk games done with a middle ages twist.

Most items (including admission) were incredibly reasonable except for the elephant ride which cost me $30.00 for the four of us. But now I can check that off of the list of things to do before I die. The jester that was annoying me backed off when I told him that, "Methinks you better back the hell off or I'll putteth my foot up your ass" Tried to stay in the spirit of things but that guy was not funny and he was scaring my kids. Cute little playground was there too and after I bought Lauren a souveneir princess cone hat with the silk veil thingy coming out of the top, a lot of the characters began referring to her as M'lady and one goth chick stopped her and said, "Awesome hat!" That made her day. Now she loves pirates because they're so gallant. How many bad marriages occur because young girls think pirates are gallant? Sigh.

Overall, it was the highlight of our vacation and I hope we go again sometime.


Four Replies to Renaissance: Everything Old Is New Again

Amy Austin | August 24, 2008
How many bad marriages occur because young girls think pirates are gallant?

Is that a rhetorical question??? I wasn't *that* young...

Steve West | August 24, 2008
Yes, completely rhetorical and thoroughly tongue in cheek. It's just I didn't have the heart to tell her that pirates were thieves and murderers, she was so enchanted.

Amy Austin | August 24, 2008
As was mine...

Though it just so happens that a certain party is attending a conference in your neck of the woods, and I can't help but imagine an intervention... ;-)

Tony Peters | August 24, 2008
I remember mead and oyster shooters at that festival...I have yet to find one as good as that one


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

ML8 ML8

Saw this bumper sticker on a white Rabbit. Took me a couple miles to get it. All of these buildings are impressive in their own way but that Chicago drill bit seems to be screaming, "Screw you, Chicago!" Go »

Homer Sings

Do-Re-Mi as sung by Homer Simpson DOh - The stuff that buys me beer. RAY - The guy that sells me beer. ME - The guy who drinks the beer. Go »

I'll Take Potpourri for $1000, Alex

Mix of the best stuff I found this week. More drunk pwned photos. Do you dress like a douchebag? Go »

I'm Too Young To Be Old

All of this landscaping has taken a serious toll on my aged body, apparently. I actually had to take a day off from work to recover from an aching back. When younger (twenties), I could chop a load of firewood blah blah blah. Go »

Toilets R Us

I got a thing for cool looking toilets. What can I say? I'd like most of these to be in Barbie's Dream House except for that face-to-face absurdity. Go »

Christmas Post #21: Christmas Songs

Spinner.com submitted their list of the 12 best Christmas songs. Songs, not carols. Go »