Recent conversation with Brenda:

Brenda: You look so busy. What are you working on now?

Me: An advertisement for a cologne for introverts that hasn't been created yet. Gonna need help with that part. Chanel... Dior, maybe.

Brenda: What's so special about it?

Me: Right now, just the name.

Brenda: What's it called?

Me: LEAVE ME, THE FA COLOGNE.

Brenda: You better hope for a lot of on-line sales.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Never Volunteer, Dummy

Ever since seeing Anthony Hopkins in Magic, ventriloquists and their evil dummies have given me the creeps. This guy does as well but I laughed nonetheless. I think I could sit through his entire act but could never get past the queasiness and actually volunteer like this guy did. Go »

Ho, Ho, Ho

I was in my car stopped at a light after going to Giant when two jokers pulled beside me and made motions for me to roll down my window. They drunkenly started shouting, "Hi, Santa! What are ya gonna bring me for Christmas this year?" Go »

One and One-half Is Not the Same As Two

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: There are not two scoops of raisins in my Raisin Bran. Brenda: Excuse me? me: There appears to be less than two scoops of raisins in my cereal box. Go »

Back to School Night

We just got back from the titular event and I have to say, I love my kids' school. Lauren is in 3rd grade and Olivia is in the autism program in 1st grade. Lauren has one teacher and Olivia has at least three (more if you count her speech therapist, occupational therapist, and physical therapist). Go »

So, How Much Has Been Spent Saving Matt Damon?

I calculated the amount of money spent, based on movie budgets, in saving Matt Damon. I only went to 2015 because I got tired. But up to then, here's the money that's been spent. Go »

Renaissance: Everything Old Is New Again

The Maryland Renaissance Festival is an annual event that takes place on eight consecutive weekends each year at an outdoor site in Crownsville, MD. It usually starts right around when school does so Brenda and I have been distracted away from going for several years. We promised the girls we would absolutely go this year for their mini-vacation. Go »