Recent conversation with Brenda:

Brenda: You look so busy. What are you working on now?

Me: An advertisement for a cologne for introverts that hasn't been created yet. Gonna need help with that part. Chanel... Dior, maybe.

Brenda: What's so special about it?

Me: Right now, just the name.

Brenda: What's it called?

Me: LEAVE ME, THE FA COLOGNE.

Brenda: You better hope for a lot of on-line sales.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Dumb Criminals And Other Court Type Stuff Part 3

Another small collection of weird legal matters. Yeah research, that's the ticket; Too manly for the ladies' room; Chi-tonw blues; Cat's got yer what?; and finally, I have no idea what it's like to be busted for DUI, taken for mugshots wearing a shirt displaying my love for midget sex, and then being forever haunted by that image surfacing on the internet, but I know who to ask. Go »

Dog Lovers Unite

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: I watched the neighbor's dog for an hour the other day. Brenda: That was nice of you. Me: I let him off the leash and a cop came up to me a few minutes later and said my dog has been seen chasing a guy on a bicycle. Go »

My Faith in Humanity is Restored

This is a true story I saw on a travel blog website. Late one night, a woman and her husband received the tragic news that their three-year-old grandson in Denver had been murdered by their daughter’s live-in boyfriend. The boy was being taken off life support at 9 o’clock that evening and his parents opted for organ donation which would take place immediately upon his passing. Go »

Ahnuld's Dog, Heinrich

"Heel, Heinrich!", commands the Governator. "Kiss my grossly over-developed ass," snarls Heinrich in return. Go »

The Colossus Of Roads

I am getting so sick of commuter traffic. Forbes magazine has Washington, DC listed as #3 on the Texas Transportation Institute's Worst Cities for Traffic list and I can't disagree. The bulk of that rating comes from the deteriorating infrastructure within the city which doesn't affect me much. Go »

Odds & Ends

Yesterday, Lauren and I went to Toby's Dinner Theatre for her birthday and saw Happy Days, the musical. I was never a big fan of the series but had seen enough of it to get the inside jokes and references to the old sitcom. A few of the groaners included not seeing Chuck for a few years now, the Fonz not being the same since he jumped the shark and Richie commenting on his usual ability to solve problems in just one-half hour. Go »