I think leaving the state qualifies this as a vacation trip. We went to Pennsylvania and enjoyed ourselves at Hershey Park in Hershey, PA. The temperature was about 80 degrees (tolerable and pleasant) therefore the water was about 70 degrees tops (actually quite chilly). The girls were very happy to stay almost the entire time in one of the three swimming areas that had a very small wave generator, multiple jetted streams of water from the cement floor, four buckets that tipped water from overhead and a broad water slide that was sadly non-functional.

Brenda and I did well on coating the girls with enough sun-block that they appeared appropriately Nordic at days end. Then there was Brenda and I. No amount of sun-block is gonna prevent me from burning except if I climbed into the carboard box it came in. I looked at my arm at about 2:00 and swear I could see a vision of bacon sizzling through a microwave window. When in Florida, expect to see me wearing sun-block SPF angora sweater. Didn't partake of any of the coasters because Lauren said they looked a little scary. But we did ride on yet another carousel and a few kiddie rides that go up a bit but no spinning and roiling. Some rides were too scary for me. A few with absolute vertical drops of 60-70 feet or more imposed an appropriate amount of terror in me just looking at them. One ride I swear must have been called "The Vomitorium" is gonna give me nightmares.

The park is about two hours from my house and the ride was made pleasant enough by my digital babysitter, the car DVD player. And it only took a half a tank of gas for the round trip of 250 miles, which was nice. Overall, a ver successful vacation. Next weekend, the last before the new school year starts, The Maryland Renaissance Fair. Jousting is the official state sport of Maryland, you know.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

The Green Thing

While checking out at the grocery, I overheard the young cashier suggest to an older woman in front of me, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment. The woman apologized and explained, “We didn’t have this green thing back in my early days.” The clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Go »

Ice Cream That Would Make Homer Simpson Retch

In all honesty, I felt physically ill after about 1/3 of the way through this list. I could actually taste some of this nauseating stuff and it made my stomach churn. I don't even want to know what raw horseflesh flavor is like. Go »

Information, Please...

Shortly after I obtained my driver's license, I got brave enough to travel a longer distance than the liquor store. I headed to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania to visit the historic battlefield. I had always been a Civil War nut (short of reenactments) and Antietam I had seen recently (someone else drove). Go »

For Your Consideration...

So many actors are on their best behaviour come Oscar time because they don't want anything to interfere with their chances to win in this rare opportunity. The rarest of opportunities occurs this year for Mickey Rourke who is not exactly on a first name basis with Oscar nominations. And may never be there again. Go »

See You At The Pole

At the end of my college career, I walked on the campus of the University of Maryland for the thousandth time. Near the chapel, in front of an administrative building, stood flagpoles bearing the flag of the State of Maryland flying slightly lower than the flag of the United States. Annually, in September, students are encouraged to gather at the flagpole of their school and pray, an event called "See You At The Pole". Go »

Phallic Logo Awards

Most of these fall under the "They Had To Have Noticed" category. I'll never look at another Head tennis racket quite the same way again. The winner is absolutely hilarious. Go »