Vacation Week VI
by Steve West on August 17, 2008

I think leaving the state qualifies this as a vacation trip. We went to Pennsylvania and enjoyed ourselves at Hershey Park in Hershey, PA. The temperature was about 80 degrees (tolerable and pleasant) therefore the water was about 70 degrees tops (actually quite chilly). The girls were very happy to stay almost the entire time in one of the three swimming areas that had a very small wave generator, multiple jetted streams of water from the cement floor, four buckets that tipped water from overhead and a broad water slide that was sadly non-functional.
Brenda and I did well on coating the girls with enough sun-block that they appeared appropriately Nordic at days end. Then there was Brenda and I. No amount of sun-block is gonna prevent me from burning except if I climbed into the carboard box it came in. I looked at my arm at about 2:00 and swear I could see a vision of bacon sizzling through a microwave window. When in Florida, expect to see me wearing sun-block SPF angora sweater. Didn't partake of any of the coasters because Lauren said they looked a little scary. But we did ride on yet another carousel and a few kiddie rides that go up a bit but no spinning and roiling. Some rides were too scary for me. A few with absolute vertical drops of 60-70 feet or more imposed an appropriate amount of terror in me just looking at them. One ride I swear must have been called "The Vomitorium" is gonna give me nightmares.
The park is about two hours from my house and the ride was made pleasant enough by my digital babysitter, the car DVD player. And it only took a half a tank of gas for the round trip of 250 miles, which was nice. Overall, a ver successful vacation. Next weekend, the last before the new school year starts, The Maryland Renaissance Fair. Jousting is the official state sport of Maryland, you know.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

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Since Brenda is home and doing well, I will share yet another reason I will spend ETERNITY IN HELL. At the hospital, after her surgery and recovery, she began to wake up in the room. She was covered in a blanket up to her neck, and as her eyes barely fluttered open and she saw me standing over her caressing her cheek, I said, "Baby, something went wrong and they had to remove your whole body. Go »
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Small representative sample of the films presented "in 5 seconds". Several are inspired by the original joke and many last more than 5 seconds, but all are abridged to hilarious result. These are my favorites: Rocky I, II, III, IV, V, & VI; Scarface; Snakes On A Plane; Titanic; and Gladiator. Go »
F* You BAFTA
The Mickster didn't say F* you to BAFTA after winning their best actor award but did have a vulgarity filled acceptance speech reminiscent of Russell Crowe. Come to think of it, Russell Crowe lost the Academy Award that year to Denzel Washington. An Oscar worthy role in A Beautiful Mind lost to an Oscar worthy actor in Training Day. Go »
Sleep, Really?
Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: (after winning the wishbone break) Dead chicken says I get my wish. Brenda: What did you wish for? Me: What's your greatest fantasy? Go »









