Vacation Week VI | Tragic Comedy

I think leaving the state qualifies this as a vacation trip. We went to Pennsylvania and enjoyed ourselves at Hershey Park in Hershey, PA. The temperature was about 80 degrees (tolerable and pleasant) therefore the water was about 70 degrees tops (actually quite chilly). The girls were very happy to stay almost the entire time in one of the three swimming areas that had a very small wave generator, multiple jetted streams of water from the cement floor, four buckets that tipped water from overhead and a broad water slide that was sadly non-functional.

Brenda and I did well on coating the girls with enough sun-block that they appeared appropriately Nordic at days end. Then there was Brenda and I. No amount of sun-block is gonna prevent me from burning except if I climbed into the carboard box it came in. I looked at my arm at about 2:00 and swear I could see a vision of bacon sizzling through a microwave window. When in Florida, expect to see me wearing sun-block SPF angora sweater. Didn't partake of any of the coasters because Lauren said they looked a little scary. But we did ride on yet another carousel and a few kiddie rides that go up a bit but no spinning and roiling. Some rides were too scary for me. A few with absolute vertical drops of 60-70 feet or more imposed an appropriate amount of terror in me just looking at them. One ride I swear must have been called "The Vomitorium" is gonna give me nightmares.

The park is about two hours from my house and the ride was made pleasant enough by my digital babysitter, the car DVD player. And it only took a half a tank of gas for the round trip of 250 miles, which was nice. Overall, a ver successful vacation. Next weekend, the last before the new school year starts, The Maryland Renaissance Fair. Jousting is the official state sport of Maryland, you know.

Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Even Action Jeans Can't Help These Guys

Kung Fu movie auditions of martial art knuckleheads. The face falling guy with the nunchakus remains my favorite but the first guy is a close second. He knocks over a dummy that's not moving and in his own mind is a karate champion. Go »

Like Mother Teresa, Only Better

If you recognize the title of this post, then you are already familiar with Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess. I had the opportunity to meet her, briefly, at the Barnes & Noble book signing in Annapolis this weekend. She was larger than life and incredibly funny as she adlibbed before reading a selection from her book, Let's Pretend This Never Happened. Go »

Placing Lust's Arrow In Cupid's Quiver

It's refreshing to reflect that the human race survived the sexually repressive Victorian Era. That women actually overcame their culturally reinforced suppression of sexual urges and ultimately spread their legs for something other than yeast related trail-blazing. Let's relive those glory days with the Victorian Sex Cry Generator and see where Fern Michaels gets her inspiration. Go »

Barbie Gets Implants

In the early ‘90’s, I heard a stand-up routine by Cathy Ladman in which she was buying a Barbie doll as a birthday present for her niece. She’s looking at the doll displays and her eye catches a “Gift-Giving Ken”. She says, I really don’t think this is gonna prepare her for adult relationships. Go »