I think leaving the state qualifies this as a vacation trip. We went to Pennsylvania and enjoyed ourselves at Hershey Park in Hershey, PA. The temperature was about 80 degrees (tolerable and pleasant) therefore the water was about 70 degrees tops (actually quite chilly). The girls were very happy to stay almost the entire time in one of the three swimming areas that had a very small wave generator, multiple jetted streams of water from the cement floor, four buckets that tipped water from overhead and a broad water slide that was sadly non-functional.

Brenda and I did well on coating the girls with enough sun-block that they appeared appropriately Nordic at days end. Then there was Brenda and I. No amount of sun-block is gonna prevent me from burning except if I climbed into the carboard box it came in. I looked at my arm at about 2:00 and swear I could see a vision of bacon sizzling through a microwave window. When in Florida, expect to see me wearing sun-block SPF angora sweater. Didn't partake of any of the coasters because Lauren said they looked a little scary. But we did ride on yet another carousel and a few kiddie rides that go up a bit but no spinning and roiling. Some rides were too scary for me. A few with absolute vertical drops of 60-70 feet or more imposed an appropriate amount of terror in me just looking at them. One ride I swear must have been called "The Vomitorium" is gonna give me nightmares.

The park is about two hours from my house and the ride was made pleasant enough by my digital babysitter, the car DVD player. And it only took a half a tank of gas for the round trip of 250 miles, which was nice. Overall, a ver successful vacation. Next weekend, the last before the new school year starts, The Maryland Renaissance Fair. Jousting is the official state sport of Maryland, you know.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Woman Attacks Karaoke Singer

A woman attacked a karaoke singer while he was singing Coldplay. A similar thing happened to me once. I was pretty drunk and I started a fight with some guy singing Dave Matthews. Go »

Halloween 2015

A pretty fun time again this year. My brother and his wife hosted a costume party and because Cheryl is a breast cancer survivor, she requested that each costume contain a touch of pink. I carried around a baguette and sang I Want to Rock 'n' Roll All Night in French (Je veux du rock 'n roll tour le soir, et jeter tour la jour). Go »

My Ball Got Whacked With Monkey Poo

I love miniature golf. Back in college, I spent many a drunken evening goofing off with friends, avoiding the last few pages of a term paper, or just getting the cheap thrill of pretending you're an athlete by getting your ball into Mickey Mouse's left eye to win a free game. Eat me, Arnold Palmer! Go »

Art Imitates Life

I had a flat tire this morning and it momentarily bummed me out. I ran over a bolt and could see it sticking out of the damned thing. I really didn't feel like crawling around on the oily pavement in my work clothes, so I called roadside assistance provided by my insurance carrier. Go »

Worst. Playground Toys. Ever.

"Mommy! Mommy! Can I crawl up the elephant's butt? Go »

Dumb Criminals And Other Court Type Stuff

Small potpourri of MENSA reject criminals, frivolous lawsuits and just dumb laws. Cupcake Burglar; Cheeseburger Lawsuit; Drunken Sock Eater; Saggy Trouser Law; and Goofy Streaker. The most shocking story to me is this last one in which a victimized Kirsten Dunst had her room burgled and items stolen including a $13,000 handbag. Go »