Vacation Week VI | Tragic Comedy

I think leaving the state qualifies this as a vacation trip. We went to Pennsylvania and enjoyed ourselves at Hershey Park in Hershey, PA. The temperature was about 80 degrees (tolerable and pleasant) therefore the water was about 70 degrees tops (actually quite chilly). The girls were very happy to stay almost the entire time in one of the three swimming areas that had a very small wave generator, multiple jetted streams of water from the cement floor, four buckets that tipped water from overhead and a broad water slide that was sadly non-functional.

Brenda and I did well on coating the girls with enough sun-block that they appeared appropriately Nordic at days end. Then there was Brenda and I. No amount of sun-block is gonna prevent me from burning except if I climbed into the carboard box it came in. I looked at my arm at about 2:00 and swear I could see a vision of bacon sizzling through a microwave window. When in Florida, expect to see me wearing sun-block SPF angora sweater. Didn't partake of any of the coasters because Lauren said they looked a little scary. But we did ride on yet another carousel and a few kiddie rides that go up a bit but no spinning and roiling. Some rides were too scary for me. A few with absolute vertical drops of 60-70 feet or more imposed an appropriate amount of terror in me just looking at them. One ride I swear must have been called "The Vomitorium" is gonna give me nightmares.

The park is about two hours from my house and the ride was made pleasant enough by my digital babysitter, the car DVD player. And it only took a half a tank of gas for the round trip of 250 miles, which was nice. Overall, a ver successful vacation. Next weekend, the last before the new school year starts, The Maryland Renaissance Fair. Jousting is the official state sport of Maryland, you know.

Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Never Volunteer, Dummy

Ever since seeing Anthony Hopkins in Magic, ventriloquists and their evil dummies have given me the creeps. This guy does as well but I laughed nonetheless. I think I could sit through his entire act but could never get past the queasiness and actually volunteer like this guy did. Go »

Dear Miriam...

Oh, thank you Miriam, that's great advice. BTW this letter is indeed a spoof of the "Dear Miriam" column in The Daily Mirror that appeared in the satirical publication Viz. Pretty damn funny, though. Go »

Respen-A Or Not Respen-A?

We got a prescription for the aforementioned drug and have been administering it to Olivia for one month now. The results are pretty mixed. There have been no side effects apart from some minor appetite issues but also not a whole lot of observable benefits. Go »

No Clowns On Halloween Allowed At My Door

Or "How Ronald McDonald Kicked My Ass" About ten years ago, shortly before Brenda and I got married, we attended a Halloween party at a friend's house. The primary reason to get together was obviously to dress up like we did when we were little but secondarily to get drunk as a sailor on shore leave. The standard "funny name" cocktails were offered like "sex on the beach" and "southern screw" and "raw sewage". Go »