Recent conversation with Brenda:

Brenda: Why are you all wet?

Me: I knocked a plant off the kitchen counter.

Brenda: The plant got you that wet?

Me: No, the cat saw me.

Brenda: And???

Me: So, I squirted myself with a water bottle.

Brenda: I'm sure this makes sense in your world.

Me: I had to show him that the law is applied equally.

Brenda: You're a good Dad.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Coolest Home Theater Ever

Chance of impressing your friends: 100% Chance of getting laid: Somewhat lower. This is definitely going to be a part of Barbie's Dream House. Especially if it comes with a replicator. Go »

I'll Have The Misogyny Au Gratin, Please

We were having dinner with my nephew the other night and the conversation steered toward his numerous relationships. He replied with that standard chauvinistic response, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" My wife looked at him directly and retorted, "Yeah, why buy the whole pig for just a little sausage?" Go »

Approaching Decision Time

The Mickster/Sean Penn debate rages. I'm listing my reasons not to choose Mickey Rourke and comparing them to a similar list for Sean Penn. Mickey Rourke 1. Go »

Pedants 'R' Us

Today, we attended a celebration for a very good friend of mine whose daughter was graduating High School. It got me thinking in an educational mode so I thought I'd share a pictorial overview of air quotes. Go »

Christmas Post #2: I Can See Clearly Now

Flashlights. Useful when the power goes out to help me find where I put the friggin' candles after the last time I lost friggin' power. They won't save the contents of my refrigerator but I can watch as the milk slowly curdles because I don't have TV or a computer. Go »

Mean Husband... or Funny Guy?

Since Brenda is home and doing well, I will share yet another reason I will spend ETERNITY IN HELL. At the hospital, after her surgery and recovery, she began to wake up in the room. She was covered in a blanket up to her neck, and as her eyes barely fluttered open and she saw me standing over her caressing her cheek, I said, "Baby, something went wrong and they had to remove your whole body. Go »