A conversation drifted today into weird shortening of names, like Robert into Bob and William into Bill (how come Michael doesn't become Bike?), and inevitably Richard into Dick came up. How did that even happen, anyway? As usual, Straight Dope had the answer, but in my car I didn't have much chance to check it. Knowing how much I dislike my first name and never use it, I expressed relief not to be named Richard/Dick instead, but then it was pointed out how I could pretty much make my own career in the porn business with the name Dick Hardie. Nobody would believe it was true; I'd have to go by a screen name like Ralph Yastrezimski or something. Can I honestly say I wouldn't consider a name change based on that?

In the news, Kentuckyfriedcruelty.com has changed his name back to Chris Garnett. I may not agree with his cause, but I applaud his determination for hanging on this long after the headlines faded. At least he's not in such bad shape as the woman who tattooed goldenpalace.com into her forehead.


Six Replies to The Importance of Being Richard

Denise Sawicki | August 16, 2006
Girls' names have some weirder nicknames yet, in my opinion. For instance, Peggy and Daisy can be nicknames for Margaret, and Polly can be a nickname for Mary.
See here for examples. I can tell you the reason on Daisy if you don't know already, a daisy in French is un marguerite. I was obsessed with names as a kid.

Denise Sawicki | August 16, 2006
We've been calling our dog Philip by a bunch of stupid nicknames: Pillip, Pill, Billip, Bill, Pillbert, Docket, Huckabee, Blurple, Phil Freemantle, who knows what else.

Jackie Mason | August 17, 2006
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Amy Austin | August 17, 2006
Heheh... Devil's been called "Big D", "Little D", Little Bit, Little Nicky (she sounds demonic when she "speaks" in her little devil-tongue sass) -- and let's not forget Wiggle-Butt, Dirt-Muncher, Snoopy-Dog, Scrumpchkin, Smiley, & Stinky... the list goes on. Angel, too (Cowgirl, Cow-Eyes, Cow-Tongue, Horsey, Livestock, Gargantua, Galoot, Behemoth, Sugar Sack, Big Scrumpchkin, Dirt-Muncher, & Stinky...) Too many nicknames to list, actually... ;-D

Jackie Mason | August 18, 2006
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Kris Weberg | August 19, 2006
Dogs need names, because they listen. All cats should simply be called "cat."


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Ketchup Packets

I was verbally mugged by a former coworker today, a guy I used to think of as a friend some time ago. I had the displeasure of laying him off last year, and after months of struggling to get by with nothing but condiments in his fridge, he started a blog to vent his frustration at me and a few other coworkers he disliked. The comments are very mean-spirited, from professional criticisms about my managerial competence and decision-making, to personal and apparently very nasty jokes about my weight and appearance. Go »

Upsetting the Pace

Gen. Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, on homosexuality (link): "I believe homosexual acts between two individuals are immoral and that we should not condone immoral acts... I do not believe the United States is well served by a policy that says it is OK to be immoral in any way." Go »

Everybody Loves George

As long as everyone already knows I'm years behind the rest of the culture, can I recommend That's My Bush! before Dubya actually concludes his presidency? We just finished watching the short series; it starts weak but gets pretty strong by the end. Go »

Dr. Jerk

I wish doctors would treat me like a person, instead of a fat person. No matter what complaint sends me to the doctor in the first place, within minutes, every visit turns into a conversation about how I need to lose weight, and what will happen if I don't. Like I haven't tried a thousand times to lose weight. Go »

Where the Hell I Have Been All Year, Part II

I have a job! It sounds silly to keep that a secret, and yet I did for two years. I was fearful of being dooced for the slightest remark, since nearly anything can be interpreted as inappropriate with enough reasoning. Go »

Devilin'

Bill O'Reilly on Shawn Hornbeck: "The situation here, for this kid, looks to me to be a lot more fun than what he had under his 'old' parents. He didn't have to go to school, he could run around and do whatever he wanted." Yeah, it was great. Go »