A conversation drifted today into weird shortening of names, like Robert into Bob and William into Bill (how come Michael doesn't become Bike?), and inevitably Richard into Dick came up. How did that even happen, anyway? As usual, Straight Dope had the answer, but in my car I didn't have much chance to check it. Knowing how much I dislike my first name and never use it, I expressed relief not to be named Richard/Dick instead, but then it was pointed out how I could pretty much make my own career in the porn business with the name Dick Hardie. Nobody would believe it was true; I'd have to go by a screen name like Ralph Yastrezimski or something. Can I honestly say I wouldn't consider a name change based on that?

In the news, Kentuckyfriedcruelty.com has changed his name back to Chris Garnett. I may not agree with his cause, but I applaud his determination for hanging on this long after the headlines faded. At least he's not in such bad shape as the woman who tattooed goldenpalace.com into her forehead.


Six Replies to The Importance of Being Richard

Denise Sawicki | August 16, 2006
Girls' names have some weirder nicknames yet, in my opinion. For instance, Peggy and Daisy can be nicknames for Margaret, and Polly can be a nickname for Mary.
See here for examples. I can tell you the reason on Daisy if you don't know already, a daisy in French is un marguerite. I was obsessed with names as a kid.

Denise Sawicki | August 16, 2006
We've been calling our dog Philip by a bunch of stupid nicknames: Pillip, Pill, Billip, Bill, Pillbert, Docket, Huckabee, Blurple, Phil Freemantle, who knows what else.

Jackie Mason | August 17, 2006
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Amy Austin | August 17, 2006
Heheh... Devil's been called "Big D", "Little D", Little Bit, Little Nicky (she sounds demonic when she "speaks" in her little devil-tongue sass) -- and let's not forget Wiggle-Butt, Dirt-Muncher, Snoopy-Dog, Scrumpchkin, Smiley, & Stinky... the list goes on. Angel, too (Cowgirl, Cow-Eyes, Cow-Tongue, Horsey, Livestock, Gargantua, Galoot, Behemoth, Sugar Sack, Big Scrumpchkin, Dirt-Muncher, & Stinky...) Too many nicknames to list, actually... ;-D

Jackie Mason | August 18, 2006
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Kris Weberg | August 19, 2006
Dogs need names, because they listen. All cats should simply be called "cat."


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Thank You Netflix

I'm in the mood for some Law, followed immediately by some Order. Go »

Mile-High Hypocrisy

The homeowners' association in a Denver suburb is furious that one of its residents has dared to put up a Christmas wreath in the shape of the peace symbol. (link) Yeah. Keep reading till the end. Go »

Day 178

People have been asking me how the diet is going. I'm still at it, although I cheat much more often than I'd like, so the daily caloric average is now 1500-1800. However, I've been stuck on one seriously cruel plateau. Go »

Like That Smash Mouth Song

Dramatic photo of a shuttle docking with the International Space Station, set against the sun: (link) Thanks, Aaron W. Go »

Open Letter to a Lab Technician at Manatee Memorial Hospital

Just a few things that I would have liked to have said if I could have gotten a word in edgewise: - Yes, there is a strong correlation between ultra-processed food and obesity, but so far, no causal connection has been proven. - No, organic produce is not *all* covered in pesticides anyway, although some is farmed using non-synthetic pesticide and some winds up exposed to synthetic pesticide anyway for a variety of reasons. - Bill Gates promotes and invests in soy-based meat replacements because he believes that soy products are better for the environment and for human health. Go »

Weight-Loss Wednesday: The Stress Test

Two weeks ago, I wound up in the hospital for what I worried was a heart attack, but turned out to be back spasms caused by too much weight on my frame. Either way, the lesson was ominous: Lose weight, or spend a lot more time in the hospital in the future. I would like to document my progress here on Wednesdays as I undertake this long journey. Go »