A conversation drifted today into weird shortening of names, like Robert into Bob and William into Bill (how come Michael doesn't become Bike?), and inevitably Richard into Dick came up. How did that even happen, anyway? As usual, Straight Dope had the answer, but in my car I didn't have much chance to check it. Knowing how much I dislike my first name and never use it, I expressed relief not to be named Richard/Dick instead, but then it was pointed out how I could pretty much make my own career in the porn business with the name Dick Hardie. Nobody would believe it was true; I'd have to go by a screen name like Ralph Yastrezimski or something. Can I honestly say I wouldn't consider a name change based on that?

In the news, Kentuckyfriedcruelty.com has changed his name back to Chris Garnett. I may not agree with his cause, but I applaud his determination for hanging on this long after the headlines faded. At least he's not in such bad shape as the woman who tattooed goldenpalace.com into her forehead.


Six Replies to The Importance of Being Richard

Denise Sawicki | August 16, 2006
Girls' names have some weirder nicknames yet, in my opinion. For instance, Peggy and Daisy can be nicknames for Margaret, and Polly can be a nickname for Mary.
See here for examples. I can tell you the reason on Daisy if you don't know already, a daisy in French is un marguerite. I was obsessed with names as a kid.

Denise Sawicki | August 16, 2006
We've been calling our dog Philip by a bunch of stupid nicknames: Pillip, Pill, Billip, Bill, Pillbert, Docket, Huckabee, Blurple, Phil Freemantle, who knows what else.

Jackie Mason | August 17, 2006
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Amy Austin | August 17, 2006
Heheh... Devil's been called "Big D", "Little D", Little Bit, Little Nicky (she sounds demonic when she "speaks" in her little devil-tongue sass) -- and let's not forget Wiggle-Butt, Dirt-Muncher, Snoopy-Dog, Scrumpchkin, Smiley, & Stinky... the list goes on. Angel, too (Cowgirl, Cow-Eyes, Cow-Tongue, Horsey, Livestock, Gargantua, Galoot, Behemoth, Sugar Sack, Big Scrumpchkin, Dirt-Muncher, & Stinky...) Too many nicknames to list, actually... ;-D

Jackie Mason | August 18, 2006
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Kris Weberg | August 19, 2006
Dogs need names, because they listen. All cats should simply be called "cat."


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

R.I.P. Katie

Go »

Final Chapter

The movies that are going to be written about in Brittany Murphy's obituaries are Just Married, 8 Mile, Clueless, and maybe Sin City. But the one most sadly relevant is a movie that few people saw, The Dead Girl. Each chapter of the movie shows how a different woman is affected by the discovery of a woman's body in a field, until the last chapter doubles back and shows us her haunting final days. Go »

Intruder Alert

At 5:30am I was awakened by the doorbell and the sound of someone fumbling with my door. Through the peephole, I watched a young man desperately trying to pick the deadbolt. After a couple of minutes, he gave up and stumbled off towards the other apartments. Go »

Home is Where the ––– is

Just how convenient can future additions to Google get? (link) Thanks, Marlon. Go »

Stepson

She hasn't come out and told me yet, but it seems pretty clear that my mom is engaged, or at least planning to get married to her boyfriend. I wish them both happiness, especially my mom after eleven solitary years as a widow. This is great news for both of them! Go »

Scott's Pet Peeve #8446

Not all mobile phones mix a qwerty keypad with their main numerical keypad, but I have an old Blackberry that does. That makes me especially frustrated by companies that only provide a letter-based phone number without showing a numerical alternative (800-LIKE-THIS). I just went to cancel Nutrisystem, and of course they require you to call a counselor rather than just cancel online, and the only number they give is 888-459-THIN. Go »